Rachel B's NDE

Experience description: 

            After suffering a gun shot wound to chest I was unconscious when I arrived at the emergency room.  Within minutes I was in shock and dying. Suddenly I was looking down on my body and the crowd of doctors and nurses working to revive me.  I looked around and found that I was up above the room and in the very left hand corner of the "picture".  Looking to my right, I could see a brilliant light as if it were coming from behind a door an indefinite distance away.  I wanted to go through the door but could not because of what the doctors were doing. Now they were putting tubes into my chest and I yelled at them to "Leave Her alone, let Her go, stop hurting Her" over and over. I no longer saw that person, that body as being me, but as a separate entity. Yet, unless they let that entity die I could not live to go through the door to the light.  I felt no pain, no fear and my emotions were calm but I felt an urgency to get to the light because the door was slowing closing.

Suddenly a shock opened my eyes and I was back inside that wounded body again in the ICU.  I felt a terrible loss inside.  The next day when the surgeon came in I greeted him by name and told him he should have let me die.  He was amazed I knew his name and more amazed when I described and named the other doctors and techs that had worked on me. He said I was already comatose when he got there.  I even described the layout of the instruments he had used and the layout of the ER rooms.  He said there was no way I could have known these things.

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? No      

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          Yes     multiple bullet fragments throughout chest, collapsed lung, excessive blood loss

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    After going into shock.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?    More consciousness and alertness than normal

If your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please explain:            There was no question of what I needed to do, no decision for me to make of whether to stay or go.  I did not think about past, present or future, just that at that moment it was my chance to go to the next stage of life.

Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?  Yes     While I considered myself looking into the room, I was also looking across a universe of space to the light behind the open door I needed to reach before it closed. I was seeing the people from above and at eye level at the same time, I could read their name tags, even smell their breath. I moved among them and through them without touching them.  It was like watching the same show from ten different camera angles.

Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?
            Yes     I was hearing, but not in the sense of sound coming into my ears, it just "was".

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Yes

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Really felt calm.  I knew what the doctors were doing must be hurting the body and I wanted them to leave it alone, it had already suffered enough pain. Emotionally,  I was at peace.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?          No      

Did you see a light?           Yes     I was also looking across a universe of space to the light behind the open door

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          Yes     He said I was already comatose when he got there.  I even described the layout of the instruments he had used and the layout of the ER rooms.  He said there was no way I could have known these things.

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?           No           

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes     I felt an urgency for the humans to leave my body to die so I could reach the light before the door closed completely.

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?     Yes     I felt God had let me know that he is there and is waiting for me when this body does die.

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     I shared my experience only with some relatives and close friends.  At that time, one hardly ever heard of people having NDE's and I did not feel many would believe me.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?    No      

How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:            Experience was definitely real    It was crystal clear in my mind then of having actually occurred and now, 30 years later it's still just as clear as the day it happened.

Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or significant to you?            The feeling of total peace and the sense that life would go on forever in a form different than the bodies we now inhabit.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience:            Experience was definitely real    It was crystal clear in my mind then of having actually occurred and now, 30 years later it's still just as clear as the day it happened.

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?           Yes     I became a kinder, gentler person.

Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?            Yes            I know now the church of God is in our soul and not in a creed or building,

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         Yes     I have been in several traumatic accidents that probably should have killed me, yet at the moment when I should feel the most terror that same peace and calm wash over me and I have just thought maybe He is ready for me now. So far though, he must have more work for me to do here.

Did the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?         Yes