"I CAN'T STOP ASKING WHY"
(c) 2006 TOMMYE RODRIGUES

IT'S COZY HERE BESIDE THE FIRE
WHERE I FEEL YOU ARE NEAR
WHERE THE SCENT OF YOU
STILL LINGERS IN THE AIR
AND MEMORIES OF YOU ARE EVERYWHERE

FRIENDS CALL OR STOP BY
EVERY NOW AND THEN
BUT ALMOST WITHOUT EXCEPTION
I PRETEND I'M NOT IN
IT SEEMS SINCE YOU'VE BEEN GONE
I JUST WANT TO BE ALONE

I SPEND HOURS AT THE WINDOW
STARING AT THE SKY
WATCHING WINTER CLOUDS
AS THEY GO RUSHING BY

BUT ALL THE WHILE I WATCH
I AM FOREVER ASKING "WHY?"
AND HEARING NO ANSWER
THOUGH IT SHAMES ME TO SAY
ALL I CAN DO IS CRY
I CRY LIKE A BABY EVERY DAY

I KNOW HE HAD A REASON
FOR TAKING YOU AWAY
A YEAR AGO THIS LONELY WINTER DAY
THE GRANDEST OF REASONS
SURELY COSMIC IN DESIGN

AND I ACCEPT HIS WILL BUT STILL
I CAN'T STOP ASKING "WHY?"
AND HEARING NO ANSWER
ALL I CAN DO IS CRY
SOMETIMES IT SEEMS I CRY ALL THE TIME

I WATCH A MILLION SNOWFLAKES
RUSHING TO THE GROUND
SILENCING ALL OUR NORMAL CITY SOUNDS
WHY THEN DO I HEAR CHURCH BELLS
RINGING LOUD AND CLEAR
WHEN THE NEAREST CHURCH TO US
LIES MILES AND MILES FROM HERE?

AND HOW CAN I SEE A RAINBOW
WHEN THERE ISN'T ANY RAIN?
STRANGE MYSTERIES LIKE THESE
NOW HAPPEN TIME AND TIME AGAIN

I HAVE ONE NEW FRIEND I AM HAPPY TO SAY
A LARGE YELLOW BUTTERFLY WHO VISITS ME EACH DAY
EVEN NOW, WITH SNOW STACKED ON THE GROUD
HE DOES HIS LITTLE DANCE FOR ME
WITH NO MUSIC, NOT A SOUND
"OH, HOW VERY AMAZING," I CAN HEAR YOU SAY
AND I SUDDENLY REALIZE THAT HE NEVER CAME
UNTIL YOU WENT AWAY

YES, SUDDENLY I RECOGNIZE
IN THESE SEEMING MYSTERIES
THE ANSWER I HAD BEGGED HIM FOR
AT LEAST A THOUSAND TIMES
THE ANSWER TO ALL OF MY "WHY'S"

YES, SUDDENLY I KNEW! I KNEW!
HOW COULD I NOT HAVE SEEN?
HE WAS SHOWING ME
THAT WHERE YOU ARE WITH HIM
I WILL SOMEDAY BE
AND I WILL FIND YOU WAITING THERE
PATIENTLY FOR ME

HIS SIGNS HAD BEEN PRESENT
EACH AND EVERY DAY
BUT BLINDED BY MY TEARS AND GRIEF
I SIMPLY COULDN'T SEE
AND THAT WAS HOW I CAME TO LOSE MY WAY

NOW I KNOW, I KNOW, WITHOUT A DOUBT
THAT YOU HAVE NOT LEFT ME FOREVER
YOU HAVE JUST GONE AWAY FOR A WHILE
AND I WILL JOIN YOU WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT
AND KNOWING THIS, I CAN WAIT, YES, I CAN WAIT FOR THAT DAY
WHEN I WILL JOIN YOU IN GOD'S HEALING LIGHT

A CURIOUS INTERMISSION By NDEr Richard T

SO MUCH AM I COMPELLED TO SAY
‘ERE THE TURN OF A COLD MARKED DAY,
YET, WHY SHOULD I SAY ALL THIS
WHEN I’LL NOT CARE OF WHAT AFTER IS?

FOR I AS A CHILD, WAS ONCE THERE
LOOKING BACK AT ALL WITH JUST A STARE.
NO THOUGHTS, NO CRIES, NO HEART FELT PAIN,..
JUST A SILLY HUMANS GAME.

THE PREACHER, HE, JUST CLOSED THE BOOK
AND GAZED AT ME WITH A SOLEMN LOOK,
TEARS HE COULD NO LONGER HIDE
RAN DOWN HIS CHEEKS, AS I DIED.

WHY? THOUGHT I, DID THEY ALL CRY?
WERE THEY SORRY FOR MY LOSS OF LIFE?
OH, WELL. SAY’S I, TO ME, MYSELF
AS I FLOATED OUT T’WEEN WALL AND SHELF.

SO STRANGE, THINK I, SO CURIOUSLY,
AS I LOOK BACK AT THE SPIRIT ME,
NO QUESTIONS THEN, NO NEEDS YOU SEE,
WHEN YOU ENTER WHERE NO OTHERS BE.

UP INTO CEILING BETWEEN THE FLOORS
NO DOCTORS, NURSES, NOR CARES NO MORE.
I COULD SEE THE GIRDERS GRAY WITH DUST
ALL IN A DARKNESS THAT ONE COULD TRUST.

I TURNED AND KNEW A TUNNEL BLACK,
SHOULD I ENTER? OR, NOW TURN BACK?
ALIKE THE CORD I KNEW AT BIRTH,
QUITE HESITANT; A BIT, AT FIRST.

FEET FIRST I WENT THEN DOWN INSIDE
A WHOLE LOT LIKE A TUNNEL SLIDE,
DOWN ON DOWN I SLOWLY MOVED
AFLOAT INSIDE THE CENTER TUBE.

HANDS AND FEET AGAINST IT’S SIDES
I THOUGHT MIGHT STOP MY FLOATING GLIDE.
YET, STILL FASTER DID GO I,
NO FRICTION MET ON EITHER SIDE.

‘THOUGH ALL WAS DARK, NO SIGHTS THERE SEEN,
ALL FEAR OF PAIN WENT OUT OF ME.
MY TRAVERSE THEN SLOWED AND LEVELED OUT
A LIGHT WAS SEEN REMOVING DOUBT.

FOR THIS TUNNEL HAD AN END IN STORE
IT’S AT THE MIDDLE OF ALL LIFES’ CORE.
SO QUICKLY THEN I ENTERED SPACE
A LOVE LIGHT GLOWING AT A GENTLER PACE.

THE BRIGHTEST LIGHT WITH A GOLDEN HUE
WAS SURROUND ME THERE AND FILLED ME TOO.
SUSPENDED LIFE; A CONSCIENCE NEW,
JOINED ME THERE, JUST US TWO.

NO PONDERED QUESTIONS OF MY COURSE
FOR I WAS WITH ALL LIFE’S FORCE.
THE CENTER OF NO DIMENSION SHOWN
WAS ASKING ME OF ALL I’D KNOWN.

FIRST HE ASKED IN A TRANSFERRED THOUGHT
TO RECALL ALL SORROW FROM THE LIFE I’D LOST.
AND WE TWO SHARED FOR A MOMENT THEN
AS WOULD SECRETS PASS BETWEEN TWO FRIENDS.

THEN "LET IT GO" HE SAID TO ME
SO THAT HE COULD SHARE HIS INNER PEACE.
HIS LIGHT SURROUND, IT TURNED WARM GOLD
AS HIS LOVE FOR ME WAS THEN FULL SHOWN.

HE NEXT THEN ASKED TO RECALL ALL JOY
I HAD KNOWN ‘TIL THEN AS A LITTLE BOY.
A WARMTH OF CHILDHOOD MEMORIES DEAR,
FILLED ME SO TO BRING FORTH TEARS.

AT THIS HE SMILED WHILST I SHARED ALONE
FOR THIS HE SURELY, HAD ALWAYS KNOWN.

HIS NEXT PURE THOUGHT FROM HIM TO ME?
A BALANCE FOR THE WHOLE OF THEE.
AT THIS THOUGHT WE SHARED NO GLAD,
FOR THE BALANCE SHOWED SO MUCH MORE SAD.

OF LIFE? WELL, THEN, WHAT DO YOU THINK?
WAS THE LAST HE EVER ASKED YOU SEE.
NO ANSWER DID I HAVE JUST THEN,
SO, BACK TO LIFE, I WENT AGAIN.

HIS PARTING THOUGHTS, THEY CAME TO ME,
AND HAVE ALWAYS BEEN A MYSTERY,..
“YOUR LIFE’S NOT DONE, YOU’VE A PURPOSE STILL,
A MISSION YOU’RE ON, YOU’VE YET TO FILL.”

Experiences, by Richard Waller

The secret's out - it's no use -
Emily Dickinson's no recluse!
She tells us how the sunset washes
The shores of the Yellow Sea,
Where it rose, and where it rushes;
Of railway trains that lap the miles
By shanties and mountain piles.
She writes of men on battlefields
Who drop like flakes and falling stars
In the dirt of the worst of wars.
The explanation can only be -
She floated out of her body,
We call it O B E.

Drawn into tangible darkness,
Rushing high speed through a tunnel.
I’m somewhere between two worlds
Spiraling like water through a funnel.

I see a pinpoint of light in the distance,
Growing larger the closer I get.
But for some strange reason I’m not afraid?
And see it not as being a threat.

Entering into a realm so soothing
Of radiant, golden-white light,
Peace and warmth pours over my spirit,
It’s so beautifully – beautifully bright.

Moving with the flow of fine silk,
My translucent body glows;
Like thousands of tiny diamonds
They sparkle and superimpose.

A floodgate of knowledge has been opened,
With infinite waves of love;
There’s a pageantry of dramatic colors here
That just could never be dreamed of?

I see miraculous mountains of deep blue velvet
And spectacular valleys galore;
A waterfall dazzles with clarity and life,
This Elysian area I’d love to explore!

Drifting next into a garden,
With swaying grass so crisp, cool, and green;
The luminescent flowers pulsate,
Their shades so completely serene;

I hear music playing of harmonic beauty
That rolls like a glassy river.
Enchanting, mystical tones,
That would make any man alive shiver.

Then suddenly, I see someone in the distance,
Coming towards me to reunite.
This whistling persons emanating glow,
Is such a comforting and glorious sight?

When I can finally distinguish who it is,
I realize it’s my Grandpap Jack.
He tells me that it’s not yet my time,
And that I must now . . . go back.

I could stay an eternity at this divine place
From just these few things that I’ve been shown;
But I know one great day for sure I’ll be back,
Because I believe this is my true home.

I was given the wonderful opportunity of having my book of 62 poems, Till The Dreaming’s Done: “Poems Crafted For Thinking People” (ISBN 1-4137-8232-9) published this year, and this is actually one of the poems that can be found in my book. Dreamingsdone@aol.com

A SECOND CHANCE

The towering pine trees became ever more stately,

thanks to a bounty of golden sunshine and gentle rain.

Pruning the old brittle limbs would make them seem shapely,

and the pinewoods could look healthy and trim once again.

Smelling the beauty of the pines from my perch up high,

I had a strange feeling that something possibly could go awry.

Those thoughts of uncertainly were casually brushed aside

as I felt secure for that one moment in the treetop I did reside.

It was dreary and sullen on that fateful day in August of 1998.

In the distant horizon was a northeasterly zephyr

blanketing the sky with a tinge of color the shade of slate

and for a brief moment, my tenure on earth became just a blur.

The breezes that blew were no longer so gentle

precipitating my fall to the ground as solely accidental.

While lying entwined with the branches I had just clipped

I screamed aloud for anyone whose hand I could grip.

A host of angels hovered over and greeted me

at a time when my body and soul were set to be free.

Visions of my family and friends glowed like bright lights,

as God's little attendants reached down to tug me off into flight.

A solitary guardian savior heard my hysteric and desperate pleas;

she opened up my eyes to the wonders I had yet to foresee.

Vowing my heart would be generous till my last dying gasp,

my divine messenger carefully released me from her grasp.

In some strange way my aborted journey to the hereafter

was for me an epiphany that encouraged me to envision

one’s lifetime should be reveled in and filled with laughter,

showing compassion to others would be my finest decision.

My renewed spirit has given me many precious blessings.

I’ve learned to love living with all its marvelous trimmings.

I thank that sacred being for asking me to dance,

forever thankful for being bestowed a second chance.

JLY, 7/11/01

Then suddenly, I knew the "Pureness of Life", Aware of all Goodness-never having know strife.
I was taken through time, overthrowing it all; Heavens & Universes came crashing to a fall!!!
Religions, Governments; visible or not.....turned into ashes-in their sins did they rot.
Then did the Truth of all Pureness Within, fade non-existence all memory of sin.
True Life Eternal is meant for us all; And now you're award is to pass along THE CALL.

Stargate of the Mind

The Stargate of the mind

Reaches past the barrier of frontiers.

In an iridescent chariot of fire,

The lucid pioneer

Races by in his astral body.

The paradigm shift

Of bumping my head on the ceiling

Not a few times

A view mirrored anciently by saints

And yogis alike,

Is the resonance beyond gravity,

Beyond casual words.

Laws change in the Stargate,

New realities are expanded

As is the human intent.

Stretched like a new wineskin,

It ferments the drink

And intoxicates our senses,

And we yearn for more visions.

Allow yourself

The insane silliness to see beyond,

And to discover that deep space is never empty,

Love can take us through any barrier,

And ceilings only exist in a mind

That is fearful of stars.

*********************************************

Naked Before You

Naked I stood before you,

Nothing between you and me.

No way to hide

My imperfections,

My fears, my hates, my abuses, my ego.

Naked you knew all my soul,

And yet,

You loved me.

All those around me knew me,

And I knew them too, intimately.

Oneness and Acceptance

They were giving me,

And I felt myself

Loving them,

Accepting them back.

Everything was OK.

Naked I stood there,

My sins and heart for all to see.

The one who avoided mirrors on earth,

The one never happy with appearances,

The one who hated photographs.

And none of that mattered,

And everything was OK.

You saw the real me

Naked you knew all my mind,

And yet,

You only covered me

With your love.

**********************************************

Homesick

I Remember like it was Yesterday,

The Rainbow of your Love.

Standing before your Swirling Circle of White,

Like a Mystic Waterfall,

My Golden God brought me Home.

You Summoned me with your Lightning Strike,

With Thunder and Rain

The Horses called out to me, echoing your Plan.

So I died on that pasture in Tennessee.

Yet Never have I felt Life so Brilliant

I Never will forget.

Sparkles,

Merging and Falling,

Embracing me with your Fullness.

Acceptance, Security,

Joyfulness!

Naked my Soul

Ebbed and Flowed,

Like a Tide over Right and Wrong,

A Life reviewed of Possibilities

Rarely Taken,

And Sadly Mistaken.

Yet there I was, Free-form before You.

in the Cascading Borealis

Of your Unconditional Love.

I still feel your Eyes upon me!

There you were,

Happy for the Love I learned,

Encouraging me yet to learn More.

Coming back to Form,

A body human of heavy Clay

Away from You - yet Never away

Is the Hardest Thing

I’ve ever done.

It’s harder than Dying.

Father, once more Embrace me,

For I am Homesick!

And I die Here everyday without You.

*****************************

God the Trash Man

Something old

Is renewed within,

At the brink of death.

Surrendering

With doe-full eyes,

We see beyond our plastic container.

Everything makes sense there.

The chaos of life

Is as refuse,

Our body the trash

We place at the curb.

God comes by,

Sees the potential we have,

And recycles us.