Peter M's NDE

          Aware of fighting an out of body experience.  Was reasonably conscious during the first part of procedure because my cardiologist refrained from administering the standard cocktail.  As he said, "your Padre" is coming and you want to be conscious for him, but I can't wait to begin.  (i.e., I had asked for a Catholic Priest, and one was on the way.) 

The priest came, administered the Sacrament of the Sick, and stood by my right side for some time.  I watched the procedure on the monitor to some degree and then experienced a major indifference to everything that was going on.  I felt as if I wanted to get up and started to "get up off the table."  I recall saying to myself that this is odd ... after all I had three caths in my legs (one on the left thigh and two on the right with three doctors busy and talking among themselves.)  The three were my friend/cardiologist, my friend & personal physician, and a long-time acquaintance who is a noted thorasic/cardiovascular surgeon.  All three were present at this 3:00 AM procedure.  

My cardiologist indicated to those assisting him that the blockage was complete in the LAD, that my heart rate was falling seriously low, and that if he couldn't clear the blockage some how ...  That's all I heard or cared to hear because my attention was focused on closing my eyes and ...  (and, knowing that something else much more fascinating / important was about to be experienced)  At any rate, I convinced myself to remain on the table, closed my eyes and experienced a rushing sensation - as if on a roller coaster ride in a dark tunnel.  (i.e., wind rushing by my ears, sensation of rapid movement.)   

Movement stopped and amazing - unable to really describe completely - clear light which reflected no shadows - white light was everywhere that essentially appeared as if muted through gauze but all encompassing.  I recall noting that no shadows were cast from this omni-directional light.   

I saw no beings, nothing other than the all pervasive light.  I did, however, feel (know intuitively?) that I was safe, happy, loved - LOVED in a way I'm unable to put into words yet.  I was also aware of being allowed to comprehend that it was important for me to "go back." 

. . . That's all.  I awoke six hours later in the Intensive Cardiac Care unit of the hospital in Houston.  My memory of what I've just explained was somewhat dim, but I had an overpowering desire / urge to write a book about a certain subject related to values, morals, and a certain Christian experience.

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words?          Yes    Unclear at first.  I awoke in intensive care after a seven hour cardiac event / procedure with a strong desire to write a book about a particular value-laden / moral topic

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          Yes    Third heart attack in two years.  Second was in September 2005.  The third was January 2006.  The third was particularly serious and the Angio cauth procedure was hindered by 100% blockage.  Normal De Fib procedure was not capable of success because the issue was "plumbing" and not "electrical."

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?  The conscious decision not to really be concerned with what was going on in the operating room and to close my eyes ... i.e., let go.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?          Normal consciousness and alertness

If your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please explain:        I have never been completely disinterested in what is going on around me.  I was a serious student, focused commissioned officer leading troops in combat, and a Type "A" executive.  --- always focused with a need to be completely and intensely involved.  Here was a "big time" experience in the operating room, an experience that I knew was life threatening, and soon was leading to my immediate death, and I really didn't care.  Rather I "went along for the ride."

Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?          Yes    Depth perception; awareness of movement - not an unpleasant experience.

Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?
          Yes    Because of loud noises while leading troops in combat, my haring is quite diminished.  However, hearing was not really the issue.  What I experienced, the sensations internalized, etc. were not really through the senses.  Rather, all was an internally generated awareness, certainty, knowledge, etc.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?          Yes

What emotions did you feel during the experience?          Relief, neutral happiness, curiosity, satisfaction

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?        Yes    Above

Did you see a light?         Yes    see above

Did you meet or see any other beings?         Uncertain     See above

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?   Uncertain          Uncertain.  Do have an awareness that "heaven" and "hell" are best defined exactly the same way:  "As experiencing the consequences of our behavior for all eternity."

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?         Yes    Yes, but a long story, and really odd.  Perhaps I'll share this later.

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?          No     

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?  Yes    Some sort of movement BACK in time.

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?     Yes    I'm sorting this out.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No     

Did you become aware of future events?      No         

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?       No     

Have you shared this experience with others?        Yes    Two Months - Rev John Price in Houston

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No     

How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:   Experience was definitely real   The experience was real.

Awareness or comprehension is slowly developing at this time.  (i.e., what it means to me, what I need to do about it, etc.)

Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or significant to you? Difficult - still sorting it out.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience:          Experience was definitely real         I just know.  My medical situation was verified as nearly as possible and informally by my cardiologist that "it was a real serious cardiac event, we lost you for awhile. . ." and, my wife filling in the details about just how long I was in the OR (six hours).

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?          Yes    Urge to explore archeology and history of a specific time in the past and develop a manuscript including insights I am developing from my subconscious.

Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your experience? Uncertain     Strong Catholic faith all along.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?    No         

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?          not now

Did the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes    As far as the questions go - they are fine.  And, as far as I want to disclose, they are fine.