Paul O NDE

EXPERIENCE DESCRIPTION:

I was driving a white two door Austin 1100, which is small car, when the event occurred. My wife Christine was in the passenger seat and her younger sister in the back. Although I was wearing a seat belt, neither Christine nor my sister-in-law was wearing one. The purpose of the trip was to visit my father’s grave and place Christmas wreaths. My father is buried in Retford, Nottinghamshire. We were driving across the Pennines from Huddersfield, Yorkshire. As I was driving round a right hand bend near the village of Penistone the car left the road. I suddenly found myself driving on a bumpy grass verge which runs parallel to the road. To retain control of the car I held onto the steering wheel with both hands, my feet braced and supporting my weight rather than being sat in the driving seat. My left foot was on the floor but my right foot was on the accelerator (gas) pedal, which was pressed to the floor. Consequentially the car was accelerating. I was not able to change position and realized a crash was inevitable. 

The car bounced along the grass verge, I was aware of oncoming traffic and concerned we would have a head on collision. I remember silently exclaiming ‘oh Christ’. Then, I began to pray in earnest that if someone was to be injured or killed it would be me because of my bad driving. I saw coming towards the windscreen a plank of wood. It was moving very slowly, end on to my line of sight. I was convinced it would penetrate the windscreen, strike me in the face, and kill me. My perception of motion had speeded up a hundred fold. As I realized I was about to be killed, a sensation as of a swirling vortex began that enveloped my whole body, which then concentrated in my head and I exited my body through the top of my head. I literally flew out of the top of my head. I found myself travelling in an upwards direction in total darkness but with a marvelously wonderful sense of well being. I was cocooned in what I perceived to be a spherical form. My initial thought was, ‘if this is being dead, I like it’. The joy of freedom from my body was as intense as it was immense. I perceived I was travelling at great speed but I had no references by which to measure how fast it was. I was being cared for, looked after, I felt very secure. I was travelling towards some place I was not aware of.  

Then, suddenly I became aware of a light. The light was small and circular and grew larger as I approached. It grew in size as I was looking and travelling towards it. Then a voice came from the disc of light. The voice was very authoritative , commanding but not intimidating. The command was, ‘go back’. Instantly I found myself back in the car with a pain in my face. I had only suffered a black eye. Christine had a collapsed lung for which she had to stay in hospital; also her head had struck the windscreen and was bruised from the impact. My sister-in-law had suffered a cracked vertebra.  My sense of loss at being back in my body was too great to describe, tempered by the relief that Christine and her sister were relatively unharmed.  

Together with Christine’s father I checked the condition of the car on Christmas day. It had come to rest in a pasture after entering it through a gateway in a heavily built dry stone wall, typical of the fields of those parts, which paralleled the grass verge. The course of the car along the verge was about 150yds. The car was a write-off, the windscreen had popped out in one piece, all the tires were flat and the driver side ‘B’ pillar was sheared off at the base and bent parallel to the car roof. It is inexplicable how the car travelled along the grass verge for 150yds and then made a sudden right turn through a gate way into a pasture. It is as though the car was guided to its end position. 

I understood the disc of light to be representative of Jesus in the form he takes when truly present in the Blessed Sacrament of the altar.  A consequence of this experience is that I don’t have a fear of death. Also when in deep silent prayer my head shakes slightly and it is as through my being/consciousness is knocking on the inside of the top of my head trying to, unsuccessfully, get out becoming one with Blessed Trinity. One could say that it is a sensation reminiscent of the NDE experience, but not of nearly the same intensity. I yearn for heaven; the older I get the nearer I am to enjoying this reality. 

 Life is a rocky road on the way to the house of our Father. The only career worth pursuing is to return to the house of our Father. The name of the road is called Love, which is a decision to be gentle and kind, but it can, depending on the circumstances, feel like crucifixion. This is what Christians understand by the cross and carrying the cross. Nothing in this life is worth the loss of heaven. 

During my first pilgrimage to Medjugorje, Bosnia-Herzegovina (former Yugoslavia) on 18th October 1987, immediately after receiving Holy Communion I heard the following words audibly ‘Jesus is inside you’. These words were spoken in a voce like tinkling crystal. A voice that is as unforgettable as it is difficult to adequately describe. I mention this event because, for me, it is a continuation and reinforcement of the NDE I experienced in 1971. My reaction to hearing the words was: I wept with joy, because God is real, all that is written in Scripture and recorded in the Tradition and understood and taught by the Magisterium through the light of the Holy Spirit is true, it is not a fairy tale, it is all true. 

A further consequence of the NDE experience is, when occasionally, I suffer anxiety I go to Mass and receive Jesus in Holy Communion.  As Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament, under the appearance of bread and wine, melts into me the anxiety melts away. The first time this phenomenon occurred was during a hard period our business was enduring in the difficult economic period in the early nineties. I was gripped with an anxiety that was physical in its intensity, gut wrenching.  I prayed throughout the whole day for relief. I was very conscious this anxiety seemed to be a lack of trust in God, and in his providence. I longed for the end of this particular working day to be able to attend Mass in the Friary chapel, because I thought that as soon as I enter the chapel the anxiety would leave, but it didn’t. I then thought that when the Mass begins it would go, but no. Then I thought the anxiety would go at the consecration, but no, the anxiety I felt was still at its full physical force. The anxiety only left me when I received the Sacred Host at Holy Communion. As Jesus melted into me, to become one with me, the anxiety melted away. I was elated, overjoyed. The difficulties associated with the company remained but the anxiety was gone.  I know Jesus is with me, in me, guiding me through all the difficulties of life.

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? No      

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          Yes     See first paragraph of (3) below

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    From the moment things speeded up until I was back in my body again.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?    More consciousness and alertness than normal

If your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please explain:            From the moment things speeded up until I was back in my body again.

Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?  No      

Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?            No      

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Yes

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            See (3) above

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?          No      

Did you see a light?           Yes     See (3) above

Did you meet or see any other beings?           No      

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?    No      

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No      

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?           No           

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes     See (3) above

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?     No      

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No      

Did you become aware of future events?       No           

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?     Yes     I occasionally have a sense that something will happen and it does.

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     Many years after the event I told my wife. It was an intensely personal experience and I did not care to open it up to ridicule.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?    No      

How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:            Experience was definitely real    I could not get over the joy, founded on reality, it gave me. Also see (3) above

Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or significant to you?    All of the experience holds meaning for me.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience:            Experience was definitely real            See (3) above

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?           Yes     I have gradually become much less self centered and more loving.

Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?            Yes     they have developed. Prior to the experience you could say I believed but without firm conviction. It did not inform the way I lived. Today, I have the gift of faith as enunciated by St Paul in his letter to the Romans chp 11 verse 1. Faith, is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things unseen.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         Yes     see (3) above

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?        It has been life affirming and life changing.

Did the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?         Yes