Paul F Probable NDE

Had spent four years as Methodist Student Pastor (two different churches) and was now just finished with both the Divinity School (M. Div.) and leaving my last pastorate due to critical illness (Crohn's Disease requiring surgery). 

In my private Hospital room after surgery I first saw my room fill with light - then, I felt a Wonderful Love pour over me - I was in ecstasy.  I don't know how long this lasted as time was irrelevant. 

Since this experience: 

1. Experienced a Divorce of first marriage (two children). 

2. Married again with two additional children. 

3. Left the church due to doctor's advice that I should look for a less stressful job. 

4. Went back to Duke University in HR and became the first Director of Employee Education and Training. 

5. Recently took CPE training and am currently a Hospice Chaplain.

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Uncertain      Reaction by many, even Christian friends, suggest I need therapy

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          No      

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    When the Love flowed into and around me.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?    More consciousness and alertness than normal

If your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please explain:            When the Love flowed into and around me.

Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?  Yes     Seemed able to see all around without limitations

Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?
            Uncertain      Not aware of any voice

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Yes

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Deep ecstatic Love

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?          No      

Did you see a light?           Yes     My Hospital room seemed to fill with bright light

Did you meet or see any other beings?           No      

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?    No      

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No      

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?            Yes     All around me was Light, Beauty, and Love.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes     Time was unimportant or non-existent

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?     No      

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No      

Did you become aware of future events?       No           

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?     Yes     I have a greater love for others and a desire to assist those experiencing or nearing death - to let them know of the wonderful Love they will experience.  This just happened on my last Hospice visit when a patient said she felt she "might die today".  I told her of Love and Peace awaiting those who die.

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     20 - 25 years until I felt "safe" to share and that others would not dismiss the experience.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?    No      

How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:            Experience was definitely real    I kept the experience to myself for years (both trying to understand what it meant and to find a place to tell my experience and not be told it didn't happen).

Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or significant to you?            The quality of the Light and the intensity of the Love.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience:            Experience was definitely real            One of my CPE faculty members, during my recent Chaplain training at Duke University told me I was a Mystic and to read in that area - that was a wonderful gift since I began to read of Mystic experience and still do so.  It gave me comfort to know of others who feel as I do at times.

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?           Yes     1. Experienced Marriage Divorce.

2. Continue to seek Spiritual Presence after the Love Experience

3. Feel more compassion for others