Padma's NDE

Experience description: 

As I lay in bed, with doctors and nurses administering emergency help, all of a sudden I was on the ceiling looking down at my twisted and mangled body.  I saw the doctors cutting my clothes off hurriedly.  I saw them put traction on my waist.  I saw what the traction looked like.  It was a contraption made of thick heavy metal rods going down my sides from my waist.  At the level of my feet heavy chains hung suspended by two big metal balls.  Great compassion and sorrow arose from seeing myself in that terrible position. 

Next thing I knew, I was being pulled with a force like a hurricane or tornado and was trying to hang on to the ceiling with my nails, both with my feet and hands.  I was being pulled towards the wall facing me, and when I came close to there, I saw this most beautiful, rotating light, like that of the universe, in fact, it moved like the universe.  It had life and knowledge and it felt like a loving parent beckoning me. Coming close to it, gave me the most warm, loving feeling, and I came close to it numerous times, but somehow knew, that if I went through that light, there was no coming back.  So even though the feeling was indescribably beautiful, I had too many things to accomplish and the desire to do that made me fight to get back into the body and that was no easy task.

Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?     Uncertain            I do not know what was being administered by doctors or nurses, as I was admitted as an emergency in trauma ward.

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes     Firstly, at the time of this experience, people did not talk about such things, so it was unsaid to anyone for many years for fear of ridicule.  The experience of the seeing the light was awesome but hard to explain then. Now I can verbally say something about it, but it does not do justice to experience.

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          Yes     I had sustained a fall from the third floor and fell directly onto the concrete below.  I sustained multiple fractures, rupture of the spinal cord resulting in a massive haematoma.  With no ambulances back then, I was taken by taxi, which caused further damage to the injury.  After being taken to the emergency, I was admitted to the general surgical ward, but the elevator wasn't working so I had to be taken by stretcher with the help of 2 orderlies, again causing further damage.

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?           I was totally unconscious.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   No, it was very real.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Yes     The description given above shows that my consciousness was separated from the body.

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Seeing the Light, was the most awesome experience I have ever had or will have. The words that come to mind are, benevolence, love, compassion, acceptance.  These are some of the feelings I got from the Light. In as far as the Light is concerned, I saw it was alive, moving, emitting some kind of superior knowledge.

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?           No.

LOCATION DESCRIPTION:  Did you recognize any familiar locations or any locations from familiar religious teachings or encounter any locations inhabited by incredible or amazing creatures?    No           

Did you see a light?           Yes     Light that appeared like the universe, moving, alive, loving, compassionate, beckoning, emitting superior knowledge.

Did you meet or see any other beings?           No      

Did you experiment while out of the body or in another, altered state? No      

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No      

Did you notice how your 5 senses were working, and if so, how were they different?          Yes     I could see the Light, but I am not sure if this was with the sense faculty of eyes or not.  I mean, my body was down below, so what sense faculty was experiencing this, is hard for me to know.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Uncertain      I am not sure if I understand this question.  Since I was seeing something away from my body I guess you could say it was altered space.  As far as time is concerned, it just did not seem to exist, when I came close to the Light, but memory of my earthly obligations kept bringing me back to earth time.

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    Yes            The message I got was for me to be of service to my fellow mankind and since I was being given all this love, to share that with everyone, no matter how difficult the situation might be and to not give up hope. It taught me that being on this planet is a rare privilege and one must strive to rise above any adverse situation and strive to see good even in that.  It taught me that nothing is impossible; that we are divine beings and can accomplish anything we desire, provided we did it with good intentions and that there is nothing really good or bad; it just is potential.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?             Yes     Yes, the wall, but it was not limiting me.  If I chose to go through the Light, I knew there was no coming back. I was very young and had started Law School.  Being a disappointment to my parents academically for most of my life, as I did not apply myself in school, this accident was the right trigger to prove to my parents that I could finish school with flying colors. That is what stopped me from crossing the boundary.

Did you become aware of future events?       No      

Were you involved in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the body?       Yes     Yes, worldly obligations, particularly approval of my parents, by finishing school was what made me return to my body.  Little did I know that I would never be able to accomplish that as the accident left me a paraplegic for a long time.

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         Yes     I have developed the ability to know ahead of time of people's intentions and what they would do to accomplish them.  Ever since then, I have had a few experiences during crisis situations, like other accidents, of seeing a golden light surrounding me. At other times of crisis, like emotional crisis, I seem to know the exact words someone is going to utter and usually is right on.  There was one time, that I heard a thunderous sound in my head for a whole month and rainbow colors around everything I looked at.  After one month it seemed to have dissipated.  This experience was triggered by fear of the safety of my children.  Yes, I had 3 children in 27 months, even though the doctors told me I never could.  My husband had passed away prematurely, and my children were very young and a very dangerous element had entered our lives and this experience was caused by the need for me to protect my children.  At another time, I was watching a religious movie and the scene where Lord Krishna is giving the sermon to Arjun on the battlefield about the Bhagavat Gita, I cried a lot and when I was trying to go to bed that night, the whole room got filled with a golden light and I saw Lord Krishna standing in my room.  I had a room-mate living with me at that time and she was Muslim and not used to Hindu knowledge.  I asked her if she saw something and she replied 'yes, there was a golden light in the room'.  It lasted 15 minutes.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   Yes     I find I am more accommodating of other people's belief system, even though I myself might not be of that orientation and not agree entirely.  I find people and all life forms are very important to me.  I find that this world is a magical place with so many beautiful mysteries and that is what I enjoy most.  The curiosity and finding of daily mysteries.

How has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices?       I don't give up on anybody, even those that have been unkind to me.  I feel that everyone is worth putting your own needs aside.  Everyone desires loving-kindness and one should exert themselves to the fullest to make sure that one is not left without help of any kind.  I cannot experience my highest good until I help someone else achieve theirs when there is a need.  I believe in Buddhism (Tibetan).  It resonates with my feelings since my accident.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Yes     I feel sad that everyone else cannot experience what I did; not the injury, but the OB experience.  As I explained before, I have been left with a feeling of great loving-kindness, compassion and a need to never give up on anyone.  Try to do whatever I can within my own limitations to help people.  I can put myself in other's shoes and feel their anguish and feel the need to protect them.

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     Yes.  People in the medical profession think that my experience was triggered by a release of serotonin, etc..  Other people just laugh at me and yet others listen carefully and just say 'wow'.  It doesn't matter.  The thing is that for at least 20 years I did not talk about it for fear of ridicule, but now I don't mind talking about it, since I know there are other people who have had this experience in varying degrees.  I find people are not influenced by my experience, but somehow by the way they see me as a person.

What emotions did you experience following your experience?  Great love and warmth for all beings.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      The best part was the love experienced; the worst part was the separation of it due to the choice I made.

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?        No.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         Yes     Yes, I have had 5 major car accidents and in at least one of them, I had a similar experience, not quite the same but similar in its unworldly content.  I was thrown out of my vehicle and received a big blow to my head.  I was unconscious for a while, but when I came to I realized I was hemorrhaging in my brain.  I could not lift my head to let the blood out of my nose.  I was asking people to lift my head, but the crowds that had gathered were being pushed back by the cops.  Suddenly, out of nowhere someone was lifting my head, letting the blood out of my nose.  All sound disappeared, and a beautiful golden colored glowing light was surrounding me.  It was an unworldly experience.  As soon as my head was put down again, all sound re-appeared.

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes     To the extent that language can be used to describe something like an out of body experience, I am satisfied with the questions you asked and answers I gave.  But there is a whole element of experience that cannot be described with language.  Language does not do full justice to the experience felt at an emotional level and at a level of an extra-ordinary experience.

Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.    If there is any way to reduce the redundancy of the questionnaire, then one wouldn't have to get distracted by the repetition of the questions.  It is frustrating, because these experiences are very emotionally charged and once one starts narrating their experience, the emotions pick up momentum during narration.  The redundancy of the questions are like set-backs or stopping the train in its track to shunt, compelling one to either abandon the questionnaire or get frustrated to keep going back to the same answer.  Other than that it is an excellent questionnaire.