I was
extremely tired, ( My daughter was 18 months old and I was running our motel in
the White Mountains) At midnight I went up to bed sitting on the stairs every
few steps to rest, After getting into bed I had a feeling of apprehension, I was
wishing my husband would come up to bed so I could voice my concern yet when he
came up an hour or so later I could say nothing. I was aware of my heart
pounding very irregularly I could feel it in my throat and neck, suddenly it
stopped! I waited for it to resume and was suddenly aware that WOW I'm dead !! I
was looking down on my husband and myself and thinking "He will be really
surprised when he realizes. I thought immediately of my baby daughter and
immediately was above her crib looking down on her. My parents were staying with
us at the time and Thinking about them I was amazed to be looking down on them.
I could see all of this quite clearly even though it was probably 2AM and pitch
dark.
I suddenly
thought that I should be moving on and suddenly I was aware of moving through
velvety blackness with sparkles (The closest I can think of is outer space
surrounded by stars) though somewhat tunnel like. As I reached the distant
incredible warm glowing light ,a sudden feeling of WOW I'm home, it was so
familiar, I know I had been here many times before. I suddenly knew the meaning
of life!! I was communicating with a being unseen, and given the option of
staying or going back, This was a tough decision I dearly wanted to see my
daughter grow up and I did eventually want to return to my Nursing career, I
chose to return and suddenly I was being drawn back into my body.Strangely I
could not remember the meaning of life it was like a curtain had been pulled
across that memory.
On the
Sunday night I had my husband rush me to the hospital at 4AM, I was having
excruciating abdominal pains every 3or4 minutes, It was diagnosed as Chinese
Food syndrome because I told them I had eaten only a little white rice for
dinner that evening They gave me a shot of Demerol and sent me home to return
for blood work the following day when I saw my own MD, After blood work result,
was cross matched for 3 units of blood, I went back to the hospital that evening
and was transfused 3 units, I felt like a new woman, I had color and energy.
That Friday following lower GI diagnosing Cancer of colon I had Hemicolectomy,
and returned home within week, cured, I was SO fortunate, cancer was large but
contained and up to now have remained cancer free'
This
incident changed my life completely, I cherish every moment, I LOVE life though
would never be afraid of dying, I did have an episode of what I believe was
Astral projection a few weeks into recovery and would dearly love to be able to
repeat it, I was so surprised, that I came back suddenly, though at the time I
thought that I was having a heart attack because of in intense vibration and
buzzing down my left side ,just before I rose from my body. I also think that I
am a lot more psychic now. I probably sound like a crazy elderly lady but this
is all as clear now as it was 30 years ago
Was the
kind of experience difficult to express in words?
Yes The experience was incredibly clear but I did not tell anyone about it
until 10 years later.
At the
time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?
Yes I was having MD follow up every 3 months because of enlarged heart and
increasing exhaustion. After this event I had CBC done, given 3 units of whole
blood and lower GI performed showing large colon cancer which was removed one
week later. While waiting for cross matching of blood, my physician told
me not to exert myself in any way as I could go into cardiac arrest. (Hg was
7.0)
At what
time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and
alertness?
From the moment my heart stopped until given permission to return
How did
your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare
to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?
More consciousness and alertness than normal
If your
highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was different
from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please explain:
From the moment my heart stopped until given permission to return
Did your
vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such
as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of
solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?
Yes Surprised to have such clear vision even at 2AM darkness. also the
brilliant brightness of the "stars" in "Tunnel" though it was much larger than a
tunnel.
Did your
hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect,
such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?
Yes The 'Voice' I was communicating with was very clear but
somehow in my head rather than loud
Did you
experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?
Yes
What
emotions did you feel during the experience?
Excitement, Surprise. Peace, Joy.
Did you
pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?
Yes See
above, More like outer space.
Did you
see a light?
Yes Warm All encompassing.
Did you
meet or see any other beings?
No
Did you
experience a review of past events in your life?
No Yes, I believe now that we return many times (Maybe 'til we get it
right!)
Did you
observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that
could be verified later?
Yes Just that I could return and see my daughter grow up and I could also
return to Nursing.
Did you
see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or
dimensions?
No
Did you
have any sense of altered space or time?
Uncertain Not sure how long this experience lasted, No way of telling.
Did you
have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?
Yes The MEANING OF LIFE. though cannot remember what it was !!
Strange.
Did you
reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?
No
Did you
become aware of future events?
No
Did you
have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you
did not have prior to the experience?
Yes Much more psychic. Much more spiritual though not in any organized
religion. in fact I now feel that most religions 'Dont get it' I feel certain
that there is no Hell, and Heaven seems to be more a resting place or place of
recovery.
Have
you shared this experience with others?
Yes 10 years and then only in limited fashion. Unsure how it would be
received.I returned to Geriatric nursing and shared it with many of my dying
patients, I believe they mostly were happy to hear that "yes there is Life after
life,"
Did you
have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?
No
How did
you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it
happened:
Experience was definitely real Immediate reaction was one of guilt because
when given option of returning I had to think twice I think I really wanted to
stay there. depressed for few weeks thinking that in spite of surgery to remove
cancer I would die and have to leave family not sure how painful cancer death
would be. On making full recovery, Thankful !
Were
there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or
significant to you?
Whole
experience made big difference to my life. I believe we are here to make a
positive difference, and try to do so
How do
you currently view the reality of your experience:
Experience was definitely real Years later I happened to read 'Life
After Life' and it re-affirmed my experience and I was then able to talk about
it
Have your
relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?
Yes
Value friends
and family even more, and realize that everyone I meet comes into my life for a
reason, Synchronicity .
Have
your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your
experience?
Yes
Stronger
Spiritual beliefs. Still no 'Organized religion'
Following the
experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or
substances which reproduced any part of the experience?
Yes Just
the one episode of Astral projection, probably 3 or 4 weeks into post op
recovery. Amazing feeling
Did the
questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and
comprehensively describe your experience?
Yes
