Nancy S' NDE

Was in a head-on collision while coming home from work as a high school teacher on a Friday the 13th, full moon evening before the start of a major blizzard. A pregnant young woman, wanting to commit suicide was driving at high speed on the wrong side of the highway and took me head-on. Her car burst into flames, but she escaped with a bruised knee and the baby intact. Apparently  she had taken drugs and/or alcohol and went into the accident in a relaxed state. I, on the other hand, going about 60 miles an hour, could hear myself screaming and tightened every muscle of my body as I tried unsuccessfully to prevent the crash. Other vehicles were present; there was no place to go.

Everything went into slow motion as my car flew in the air and landed in a field. I remember reaching with my one free hand to turn off the engine, then drifted in and out of consciousness as fellow motorists and emergency workers came to my aid. It took more than an hour to cut me out of my car. My head was cracked open like a watermelon, my chin was flapping on my throat, so blood was everywhere. Later, my injuries were additionally listed as: all ribs broken in multiple places, all bones in my left foot from the ankle down broken as a result of my toes being jammed against my heel, my right knee and jaw were fractured and my right wrist was broken. I had neck and spinal hairline fractures and whiplash. Internal injuries were bladder and kidney and my entire body was bruised and swollen. I don't remember much of the ambulance ride, but in the emergency room begged to be given something for pain. I heard a doctor say nothing could be given me until the full extent of my injuries were known.

I started humming and as I heard myself humming I also heard a nurse say "we're losing her; her blood pressure is down to... she's dying. I remember thinking "someone's dying in this room - I wonder who it is?" I wanted to lift my head to see, but couldn't. Then suddenly the pain stopped and I remember thinking "thank God, they gave me something." Slowly I started floating backwards off the table. I could see the big clock on the wall and all the doctors and nurses around me. There was frantic activity. Every detail of the emergency room was crystal clear. But I didn't see it for more than a few seconds because as I was floating backwards I was also heading diagonally up; I went through the wall where it joined the ceiling. Instead of being outside in the cold or ending up on another floor of the hospital, after going through the wall, I was enveloped in a tunnel and kept swiftly but with no sense of motion going backwards. I was in a horizontal position on my back.

This is where it gets very difficult to describe what I happened, because I can't find words that fit the experience. I was calm and filled with utter and total peace. There was a light that defies description. It was so beautiful and seemed to be in complete harmony with sound and other sensory input that also defy description. It was not of this world. I felt content and loved, but this feeling was not separate from the light or sound or floating. Everything was all one experience. That's why I have a hard time describing what was going on. Nothing was separate from anything else. Then I heard encouraging voices behind my head saying so gently and lovingly "come on; it's OK." I thought the voices belonged to my dead grandparents, but at the same time they seemed other-worldly.

Then, without warning, I was slammed into my body on the emergency room table. The big clock on the wall marked that roughly an hour had passed. The pain was excruciating. Through my mangled mouth I begged for more pain killers. I heard someone say "we didn't give you anything yet and can't...." When I woke up it was the next day and I was in an ICU room. I saw blinding whiteness and thought I was dead. Then I realized I was in a bed next to a picture window and a raging blizzard was going on outside. I was in terrible pain and couldn't move. Someone entered the room and then ran out. Soon my room was filled with doctors and nurses. Someone smilingly said "you know we lost you last evening." Then I drifted for days in and out of consciousness, had a couple of code blues, but no further tunnel experience. It was discovered that the inside of my cheeks had been blasted with windshield glass only after pieces started to slowly fall out. I don't know if that was a day or days after the accident. I didn't mention what happened to anyone, because I thought people would think I was crazy.

During a follow-up visit with one of my doctors many months later he asked if anything unusual had occurred while I was unconscious in the emergency room. He was very kindly, so I decided to tell him what I experienced. He was delighted to hear my story and said it was not unusual for someone who had been dead for over four minutes, but that I was right not to talk about it.

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes     Two things: (1) didn't want people to think I was crazy, (2)it was so beautiful, calm, peaceful and happy that normal vocabulary seemed inadequate to express the experience

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          Yes     Auto accident

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    While I was in the tunnel

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?    More consciousness and alertness than normal

If your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please explain:            While I was in the tunnel

Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?  Yes     While lifting from the table, even though there was a slight yellow cast, everything seemed crystal clear and bright and then in the tunnel my vision was not separate from my other senses.

Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?
            Yes     What I was hearing ,with the exception of a few words spoken to me, was not separate from the rest of my sensory experience.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Yes

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Pure joy, total peace and utter contentment

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?          Yes     I already described it in my narration - I was floating backwards and upwards, enveloped in a tunnel. Normally the thought of a tunnel would scare me, because I'm highly claustrophobic, but this tunnel was part of me and I was happy. Nothing was separate.

Did you see a light?           Yes     The light was my most powerful impression, but it was not separate from sound or other sensory input.

Did you meet or see any other beings?           Uncertain      I heard voices behind me right before rejoining my broken body - perhaps my dead grandparents, perhaps others, or a combination.

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?    No      

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          Uncertain      I think things I saw in the emergency room after I died could have been verified, but I never spoke of them.

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?            Yes     My beautiful tunnel dimension and reality fusion.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes     I felt as if I wasn't in ordinary space or time.

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?     No      

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes     Floated through the hospital wall.

Did you become aware of future events?       No           

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?     No       Maybe four or five times in the immediate year or two that followed, I would leave my body at night and wander. I would see myself in a yellow cast lying on my bed as I would float vertically to the ceiling and then I would go through the walls of my bedroom, sometimes instead of hovering just below the ceiling and watching other family members asleep in their beds or floating into the living room and other empty rooms of the house, I would become vertical, but still off the ground. I was trying to leave the house, but couldn't and usually would become anxious. Each time I felt anxiety I would smack back into my body, which never felt good. The last time I floated upwards, I got scared because I went through the roof of our house and, at a very rapid speed, was hurtling through space. I felt scared to death, and thought I wasn't going to get back to my body; instead of the wonderful tunnel exit I was seeking I was just hurtling through dark, starry space. Then suddenly I slammed back into my body; only this time I felt paralyzed and trapped and just when I thought I was going to go crazy with anxiety I was able to move. I got up and didn't sleep the rest of the night. After that I never had an out of body experience.

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     I shared part of my experience with a doctor months after my accident. He cautioned me not to talk about it. Later, after marrying, I shared my experience fully with my husband who believed everything I described.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?    No      

How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:            Experience was definitely real    It was an experience just like any other real experience I have had.

Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or significant to you?    I don't know. I'm a Catholic and also have Buddhist training, but my experience was just my experience.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience:            Experience was definitely real    I is a part of my past life. It really happened.

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?           No      

Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?            Uncertain      I still believe what I believe. My experience just seemed different from what I expected to happen, but then I wasn't dead long enough. My journey had just started.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         Yes     The out of body experiences I described in answer to question 36.

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?        One day before my experience, when I was 18, I was meditating in a chapel and lost track of an hour. During that time I had a sense of experiencing ultimate reality. When I emerged from that ultimate reality I had a sense of peace, calm and harmony that lasted for days. Don't ask me what ultimate reality is though. I experienced it, but can't describe it.

Did the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?         Yes