Nancy C's NDE

Experience description: 

I was only 12 and was at a slumber party.  When I fainted my spirit rushed out of my body and I went to a place.  It was a place that was my home.  Although I cannot really describe it.  It was like a place of ideas.  There was no landscape or colors.  I just existed and there were other beings there also.  We didn't have bodies either, just minds.  They all thought it was very funny that I was there, like it was my personality to try to get out of this life experience before it was my time to.  Nothing in me wanted to come back to this life.  I know this may sound egotistical but I thought this life thing was beneath me lol.  It seemed that I was playing a sort of kindergarten game when I was much more intelligent than that. 

While I was there I knew everything, I had all knowledge.  I didn't bring it back with me though.  Maybe a page of the book or just a few lines.  I did bring back that no one is better than anyone else.  We are all here for a purpose.  I got the feeling that I decided to make this journey but I didn't realize how hard it was going to be and I tried to say, "you know, I've changed my mind, I really don't want to do this."  My friends over there thought this was very funny and I knew that I was going to have to see it thru.  I did see my life and how it was going to be and all I remember was the dread of what I was going to go thru.  There was no sympathy for me from my friends however, just amusement. 

Anyway, as I came back and entered my body I was overcome with the limitations of life.  How seeing, tasting, feeling, hearing and smelling were nothing compared to the freedom of being without a body and how literally trapped I felt.  It was kind of like being thrown into jail.  My spirit was trapped in this gross body.  It was hard to adjust at first and I was not happy to be here.  I knew though that I had to play this out and I have but now thru other experiences I do value this life.  I have to say that I don't think anyone tried to show me anything at this time, it was my own rebel spirit that tried to sneak away but there's no hiding on the other side. 

Now I'm 55 and I don't know how long I have left over here, I just sure hope I get it all done.  I do believe this thing we call life is an especially hard school and when we are done we will be proud of ourselves for accomplishing the task.  I do want to say on the 4th of July when the fireworks go off, there is one that explodes and a whole bunch of sparkling lights spill out and fall to the earth, that's who I am, one of those little lights.  I am always comforted when I see that, knowing that someday I will again be this pinpoint of bright light, my heart yearns for it.

Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?     No

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes     Nothing on earth to relate to it.

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          Uncertain      I was out for some time, long enough for the rest of the kids to be scared, probably only 5 or 10 minutes.  Usually the person is out only about a minute.

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?           Very alert, much more than this existence.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   No

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Yes     I was just a sparkling light.

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            I was free!  I was soaring, finally free!

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?           Everything seemed natural.  I don't really remember any noise.  Although, I was aware of my friends' extreme amusement.

LOCATION DESCRIPTION:  Did you recognize any familiar locations or any locations from familiar religious teachings or encounter any locations inhabited by incredible or amazing creatures?    Yes            It all was familiar because I felt like I was home.  There are no words or anything on earth like it.  It was a mind thing.  We were all lights but we were also all minds, ideas--hard to explain in words.

Did you see a light?           Yes     I was light, a tiny pinpoint of light, I felt I had no business being on earth, it definitely was a strange place for me.

Did you meet or see any other beings?           Yes     I didn't really talk to them because they were so amused that I was there and that irritated me, although it did give me insights into my personality and I knew they loved me.

Did you experiment while out of the body or in another, altered state? Yes    

It was an idea place.  So I thought about all the things we deem important on earth, to see how I would feel about them over there.  They all seemed so utterly stupid.  Really the only important thing is love.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No       Did you notice how your 5 senses were working, and if so, how were they different?         Yes     The five senses were so primitive.  What I had there was so much more and totally unexplainable.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes     There was no time.

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    Yes     I knew everything, or thought I did.  I didn't bring the knowledge back, I don't think I could live this life if I had kept that knowledge, not then anyway.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?             No       Did you become aware of future events?         Yes     Saw my life, what was ahead of me and it filled me with dread.  Like you would feel if you had this huge task before you and had no energy or desire to do it.  I did not remember what was shown me (I showed myself, by the way), I only remember the dread.

Were you involved in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the body?       Yes     I knew there was no getting out of it.  I had to come back.

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         Uncertain      I have always had one foot in this world and one foot in the next.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   Yes     I was unhappy for a while, I didn't feel like I belonged here.  For a while I felt like I was being punished.

How has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices?       It has made me kind of detached from this life.  I have many people whom I love and I think people normally think of me as a happy person but I'm not fully engaged here, it's easy to go off in my mind.  People tend to think I'm a little out there which I have strived not to be, because everyone really wants to fit in.  As I get older I realize it's not that important.  My family loves me as I am and that's helpful.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Yes     I have grown spiritually because of it.

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     Not quite to this extent.  Most people only believe in this life and can't really comprehend another.  It's something I know, they have not been there so they don't know.

What emotions did you experience following your experience?  I felt cut off.  I had to live a very limited experience.  I was confused.  I didn't understand the purpose of this silly existence.  It is like living in a corner of a room instead of being allowed the whole world.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      The best?  I always felt that I would have been much happier without this experience.  Ignorance is bliss.  It really did give me a love for mankind though and all in all it made me who I am.  I have a unique way of looking at life.  I love mankind because I know what we gave up to come here.  We have something to learn and evidently this life is the best place to learn it.

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?        I think I said everything.  Except I also know that suicide is a definite no no.  We will just have to start the whole thing over again.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No      

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?                Yes    

Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.      Questionnaire is comprehensive.