Monica M's NDE
Experience description:
I am a
type 1 diabetic. I lived on my own but when I felt ill I would stay at my
parents. Well, on Saturday, November 20,1999, I had the flu and of course was
with my parents. Nothing special. My parents wanted me to go to the ER, but I
of course, refused and said the next day I would go if not better. Well, I
stayed on the couch that night due in part to the fact I could walk straight and
all the pain and trouble breathing. As the night went on I started to do some
crazy things. I thought the alarm clock my mom brought down was a glass of
water and picked it up to drink a few times. I also started to breath heavily
and go in and out of deep sleep. Then, I woke up at 8:10 and started talking to
my mom. (she was in a recliner behind me)
I told her
it was my time to go and that I loved her and all I ever wanted out of life was
to be a happy girl. I kept telling her this over and over. In between though,
I kept telling the person who was waiting for me to "shut up, and quit being an
asshole." This person I did not know or ever seen before, but he was there to
take me with him. All the while this was going on my sister upstairs could hear
and kept thinking to herself "shut up already" then she said she heard a voice
say "she's dying" over and over. During this time my mom came over to the couch
and laid down on the other end and rubbed my extremely cold legs (as she put it)
and got me to go back to sleep. By 8:25, I was gone.
My mom
woke up to use the restroom around 10 and get me ready for the ER visit. When a
voice said to her, "she's dead and you'd better do something." That's when my
mom ran to me (mind you I am right be side her watching and listening to her).
Then she ran for my dad. My sister came down at the time and told my mom to
look at me and said she's dead. (I was the "death grey" as they call it.) My dad
came down and shook me and yelled for me to wake up. Then he thought coffee
table out of the way and my mom did compressions and my dad did breaths. My
sister called 911 and I hung with her on the porch for awhile until I heard a
siren in the distance.
Then
suddenly I was grabbed up and felt myself go into what was like a waiting room.
It was peaceful and I loved it. I wanted to stay. I had an overview of my
life, who I should be with and who I shouldn't, what life was and a taste of it
I guess is a way to put it. I only remember a feeling of it now but at the time
I know it was beautiful. I also remember hearing prayers from my family. I
remember some of their thoughts and fears too. I remember them being told that
I was down way too long and I was, as I put it now, MUSH. They need to let me
go. Then I remember prayers. I wanted to stay and I guess you could say fought
to stay and was angry I got pushed back out and told to live. That's when to
the amazement of everyone, I opened my eyes and held out my hand to my shocked
parents sitting beside me. I couldn't say anything because of the tube down my
throat but I do remember looking a the little board across from my bed and it
said, Monday, November 22,1999 and your nurses today are, Terri and Teresa.
And I went
back to sleep. Only to find many visitors who couldn't believe I was alive
staring at me. I went through, pardon my pun, hell to get were I am today. I
remember the peace and goodness I felt but also a slight anger towards being
back. I've tried to talk about all this and more to my mom but it's too much
for her and she herself has been through hell and back due to this. My sister
has been great and my husband (I was dating him at the time) has been wonderful
too. It's so hard to put in words the feelings and words that were spoken
during my "out time". It's hard to find the right words to write to you to even
have you begin to understand an ounce of what it was like. No meanness meant.
Any
associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the
experience?
No
Was
the kind of experience difficult to express in words?
Yes
The
effects of it. What all I saw, endured and experienced. Some might think I am
crazy. (to put it lightly) If you've never been there, how can I expect someone
else to understand??
At
the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening
event?
No
What
was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?
I was
dead. (but fully a wake watching from above.)
Was the
experience dream like in any way?
NO
Did
you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?
Yes
It
was aware, watching and I was communicating with the person who was with me.
Did
you hear any unusual sounds or noises?
No unusual
noises only voices. sometimes there was no face to a voice I'd hear. But I
never really looked for one, you just felt the presence.
Did
you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?
No
Did
you see a light?
No
Did
you meet or see any other beings?
Yes
Yes,
no one I knew. When he first came I was talking to my mom. He told me it was
time and he would take me where I needed to go. (He stood between the kitchen
and den in my parents home, while I talked to my mom before I left.)
Did
you experience a review of past events in your life?
Yes
Yes,
let's just say I let go of a few friendships. I also have opened myself up to I
guess you could say to predicting the outcome of some things in life. Hard to
explain.
Did
you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience
that could be verified later?
No response
Did
you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or
dimensions?
No
Unless you consider what I thought was a waiting room another dimension.
Did
you have any sense of altered space or time?
No
Did
you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or
purpose?
No
Did
you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?
Yes
If
you mean by boundary, if I could go to the other side as some put it, then yes.
I felt the great sensation of love and peace and wanted so badly for it but I
had to go back.
Did
you become aware of future events?
Uncertain
If I
did I can honestly say I don't remember.
Were
you involved in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the body?
Yes
I
begged to stay. I was angry and yet ok and at peace still. I remember being
shown one of the reasons why I came back. That's why I let it go and came
back. I loved this person too much to let them endure what they would of
endured. They've had enough and I here yet.
Did
you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience
that you did not have prior to the experience?
Yes
One
thing in some events, I can predict the out come. And another is too hard to
explain. (it has to do with danger, evil, hard to write but easy to say)
Did
you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?
Yes
How
life is, what the meaning of death and life are. Thing that again I hard to
find the right words for.
How
has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices?
Career choices?
My
relationships are stronger with those I truly love and will be with forever. My
daily life is a struggle. Due to health. I know I am here on borrowed time.
Life will come to a full circle for me. As for religion, I believe in God and
that you have to answer for everything you do, so do your best. But no ones
perfect.
Has
your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?
Yes
Yes
and no, Im more understanding some that I may not of been that understanding to
before. I feel more too.
Have
you shared this experience with others?
Yes
Some
are interested and believe others think Im nuts.
What
emotions did you experience following your experience?
I wanted
answers and sadness.
What
was the best and worst part of your experience?
The worst,
guilt, best, peace.
Is
there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?
Just, be
good to your "fellow man" because you do have to answer for all and he knows it
all. It may sound preachy but that's one thing I will never forget is my life
before my eyes and having to answer for it.
Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life,
medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?
No
Did
the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively
describe your experience?
Yes
yes,
but again, it's hard to explain in writing and easier in talking. I think
anyways.