Michelle P's NDE

EXPERIENCE DESCRIPTION:

            When I was 28 years old, I was out on a date with a boyfriend that I had broken up with previous. He had been pestering me to go out with him to possibly re-kindle our relationship. We had gone out for dinner at a Chinese restaurant. Afterwards we took a boat ride out into the Boston harbor. The night was filled with stars and I remember holding tight onto the seat I was sitting in as a cargo rig passed by us within feet making the boat sway up and down. I was very scared. I told my boy friend to please get us back to land. Once my feet were on the ground, I felt so much better. We then drove to Revere Beach and had a few drinks in a bar overlooking the ocean. It was very crowded and my boyfriend was ignoring me to talk with his buddies.  I was getting angry and told him," let's leave."  We went back to his parents house where he lived in the basement apartment. It was very dark and dingy and smelled of dampness. He turned on a light and asked me if I would like something to drink. At the same time, his brother tapped on the door lightly and said "hello" and also offered me something to drink. I followed his brother upstairs and had a huge glass of orange juice. It was very refreshing. I went back down the stairs to find my boyfriend. I walked to the rear of the basement, opened his bedroom door. It was dark so I figured he was elsewhere.

As I turned to exit the room, I heard a loud echoing blast. I felt a hot, piercing pain enter the back of my neck. I could feel the warm blood pulsating and fell to the floor like a limp ragdoll. The bedroom light flickered on and I saw my boyfriend with a gun in his hand. He grabbed me and said," what have I done?" My mouth was filling up with blood and it was very clear to me what had just happened. It seemed as if time had slowed down but I had " plenty of time" to think about things. I first thought, how is my family going to take the news that "I am dead"...I remember being conscious the whole time...then I thought about when I was younger, seeing pictures of myself in different settings...and I thought about a recent trip that I had taken to Bermuda. While I was doing all this "thinking", I could see myself from below myself...as if I was perched on a corner of the ceiling in the room looking down at myself. I saw all kinds of police and firefighters looking over my body and stepping around me...I saw my boyfriend's brother crying and he also threw-up on a police officer..(for some reason, I thought that was pretty funny) and I started to laugh.

I had no pain. I had no blame towards anyone...no ill feelings. I felt so blissful and whole..full of the most love I had ever experienced. I thought to myself," If this is dying, then its not as bad as everyone thinks it is" Then I saw a light from "above" me. It was pulling me away from the room. I figured it was okay to just let this happen, to go with the flow and except whatever was to be. The light was getting brighter engulfing my body...body? I had no body. It stayed back down in that damp room. I realized that I was dead physically but mentally I was still alive. My soul was now my "body". I looked up into the light. I could see someone beckoning me to come. He was there at the end of this lit tunnel. Then I heard a voice. It was a man's voice. He asked me if I was ready. I felt so good. It was so easy. But then I thought of my family and how hurt they would be if I was dead. I knew I still had to much more to finish and that if I died, I couldn't get these "things" done. I heard my own voice say" But I am too young to die now"...I wanted to go to this new place...I could feel others were there...but I couldn't go now. The light was fading as fast as it grew. I was sliding down the tunnel. As I was going down, I already missed all those "others". Then I was back. I knew that I was back in my body. The light was faded as if light years away now. I turned to look and I saw a face of a man. He was telling me that I was okay...and very lucky.....the bleeding had stopped. He was leaning over me while I was strapped in a gurney in an ambulance. The only lights I saw then were from the lamps illuminating the Callahan tunnel from under the Boston harbor.

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? No      

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          Uncertain      At the moment of the experience, I knew that I was dying, but I had a choice

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    When I started to "think" about what had happened, I was very aware, alert and orientated

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?    More consciousness and alertness than normal

If your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please explain:            When I started to "think" about what had happened, I was very aware, alert and orientated

Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?  Yes     Everything was much brighter looking up...but looking down was like watching a movie

Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?
            Yes     I could not hear all of what was going on when I looked down...it was like hearing from afar...when I heard the man's voice asking me if I was ready it was very clear...a comforting voice, as if familiar

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Yes

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            I felt at ease...I felt no pain...I felt love, acceptance and joy...It is a feeling I have never felt before...new, fresh and washed of any guilt, hate, fear, abandonment.  All wonderful and fulfilling...happiness.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?          Yes     It was a bright tunnel pulling me through

Did you see a light?           Yes     I saw light around and above me

Did you meet or see any other beings?           Uncertain      I didn't actually see them close up....I could see bodies beckoning me to come up to them...I could "feel" their presence

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?    Yes     I learned true love...I learned that I am not in fear of death or dying...I learned that I am still here to help others

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No      

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?            Yes     I knew that I was close to a beautiful place...the entrance was at the end of the tunnel

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes     I had "plenty of time"...time was slowed down...I felt that I was in control of my time....I could feel space around me

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?     Yes     I came to know that there is somewhere beautiful that we go to when our body dies...that we share thoughts as in reading minds...we do not need to "talk" when we get there....just thinking gets our words across and that everyone there has much love to share

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No      

Did you become aware of future events?       No           

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?     Yes     Sometimes when I am asleep, dead loved ones and friends come talk to me...one friend came to me and told me not to worry about her...that she is still alive but can only come talk to me while I sleep...

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     I thought that I was delusional for a long time. I didn't share my feelings about what I have experience to too many people. Actually I have only talked about it to two people. The two people I have shared this with believe me. I believe me too.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?    Uncertain            When I was about 25 years old, I had many out of the body experiences. It would happen quite often. I was afraid to go to sleep. But then I accepted it and I knew when it was going to happen. I would be pulled into a place where I could actually leave my body. I would stare at myself in a mirror to see a reflection of myself. I could climb on rooftops and go into peoples homes without entering thru a door. I could sit in a chair across from my sleeping body and watch myself. I would do experiments with this...watch TV for an hour and then when I would wake up, I'd look in the TV guide and know what I watched before I read what was on TV. I started to have fun with it. But when I would hear the loud drums, I knew I had to get back into my body soon or something terrible was going to happen. I don't know what was going to take place...I always made it back in time. This out of the body experiences lasted until the day I was shot. I still have them, but not as frequent.

How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:            Experience was definitely real    I was sure of what I had experienced was real...I didn't know how to talk about it...sometimes it scared me. I feel better about it now and am fortunate to have gone thru it.

Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or significant to you?            Yes, the whole NDE made me a believer of a life existing after our death on earth

How do you currently view the reality of your experience:            Experience was definitely real    It will always be fresh in my mind. I have no doubts about it. I think about it all the time. I am comforted by it always.

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?           Uncertain      I only have talked to two people about it. I have never discussed it with a lover. I don't know if it has had any affect on my personal relationships or not.

Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?            Uncertain      If there is a God, he is that voice who asked me if I was ready to join him and others. I know and believe there is a being (many) that exist after death...

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No      

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?        I would like to add that I am ready to talk to others who have experienced what I have...I am willing to share and willing to listen

Did the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?         Yes    

Are there any other questions we could ask to help you communicate your experience?   I find this questionnaire quite informative and interesting...