Michael H's NDE 261

Experience description: 

      My family and I had just arrived at a hotel in Minneapolis MN.  For the last hundred miles I asked my wife to drive, I was feeling ill but did not tell her.  While she was checking in, I felt clammy with an overwhelming pressure on my chest.  The son of a physician, I knew what was happening.  I went into the hotel, told her and the clerk that I was having a heart attack and needed to get to a hospital soon.  Help came quickly.  I was taken by ambulance to a hospital.  In the ER, I felt a little better. the ER physician gave me antacids and said maybe it was nothing more than this.  The cardiologist called took one look (I could see them) at the EKG and started talking angrily with the ER physician.  That cardiologist then came and told me I was having a heart attack.  A whole slew of people descended and began doing all sorts of things, mostly with IV lines and monitors.  About the time he told me I was having a heart attack, the pain and the pressure grew worse.

The cardiologist in the ER told me I was having a heart attack, that they were going to administer a "clot-buster,"  a nurse told me they would be very busy over the next few minutes, so that if they seemed preoccupied and unresponsive to my questions, not to worry, they just had to get everything right and coordinated, that I would be all right. But I remember feeling sick and embarrassed and a feeling that everything was out of my control.  I closed my eyes while they were working on me.

Suddenly I was floating in a blackness, but I felt no pain and no fear, I had the impression I looked to my left and saw in the distance two pillars, each with a Greek lamp on top, between them and beyond them was a glowing light.  Somehow I knew intuitively I would not travel up and through them, so I turned my face back into the blackness. 

Suddenly I was awake and there were people standing around me who seemed happy.  A nurse asked if my family could come in and see me.  But I said no, I hurt, I was nauseated, and I just wanted to be left alone.  The physician said we could take care of that, something must have been injected into the IV I guess, because very quickly I felt no pain and what I later came to realize (two bypass surgeries later) was a drug-induced euphoria.  But  I did not want to tell anyone what I had experienced.  I just wanted to think about it for awhile.  When I tried to talk about it, it seemed to frighten my wife and children, so I said little until much later. 

Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience:  Uncertain

      Explanation:  The cardiologist in the ER told me I was having a heart attack, that they were going to administer a "clot-buster,"  a nurse told me they would be very busy over the next few minutes, so that if they seemed preoccupied and

unresponsive to my questions, not to worry, they just had to get everything right and coordinated, that I would be all right.

At the time of the experience, was there an associated life threatening event?  Yes

      Describe:  Heart attack at age 45 when I thought I was in good health

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?  Hard to say.  I always felt I was me during the experience.

I can compare that to the aftermath of my first bypass surgery:  I saw tornados, the building of the pueblos and the coming of the Spaniards.  Leaves tossed on the sea.  But when I would become lucid, I knew these to be hallucinations.

I do not think what I experienced in the ER was a hallucination.  It felt too real.

Was the experience dream like in any way?  See above.

Did you experience a separation of consciousness from your body?  Yes

Describe your appearance or form apart from your body:  I was in darkness, a void, just me, no body.

What emotions did you feel during the experience?  Peace, freedom from the pain and anxiety.

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?  No.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?  No

      Describe:  Darkness all around.

Did you see a light?  Yes

      Describe:  Two pillars with a lamp on each.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?  Yes

      Describe:  Later it seemed to me that where I was there was neither time nor space.

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?  No

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?  Yes

      Describe:  I saw the path between the two pillars.  I think now I had the intuitive sense that passing between them would mean a fundamental boundary would be crossed.

Did you become aware of future events?  No

Were you involved in or aware of a decision to return to the body?  Uncertain

      Describe:  Somehow I knew that I was not to turn to go between the two pillars, and so I had the feeling of turning away from them towards the darkness.  Suddenly thereafter I was awake in the Emergency room.

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?  No

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?  Uncertain

      Describe:  I went through depression, clinical and medicated.  I lived with fear every time my heart skipped a beat.

Has the experience affected your relationships?  Daily life?  Religious practices etc.?  Career choices?  It has made me conclude stronger than before that there is a life beyond the death of this life.  It redirected me into spiritual wandering which led me to request and receive membership in the RSOF (Quakers).

Have you shared this experience with others?  Yes

      Describe:  A little.  They were cautiously sympathetic, talking about it made them uneasy, I think.  My youngest daughter asked several times to hear about it.  She says that this is what happened

She talks of experiences considered paranormal by others and seems to understand what I was saying.

What emotions did you experience following your experience?  Euphoria (probably drug-induced), fear and depression, roller-coaster for the next year.  I can still feel intuitive fear

with irregular heartbeat.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?  Best:  being free form pain and anxiety while floating in the dark.  Worst: coming back into ER, nauseated and hurting.

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?  Yes, since then I have had another heart attack, two bypass surgeries, and numerous hospitalizations for cardiac arrhythmia.

I have not had another similar experience.  I have been afraid of the surgery, but not in the same way as before.  When

I was told that my first grafts had failed and I was to have surgery as soon as it could be arranged, I had only a brief moment

of weakness and then was calm (relatively).  I was able to comfort my wife and children.

Now I think there were and are presences close by, full of help and humor and reassurance, but coming near only requested.   

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?  Uncertain

      Describe:  I think the Light is always there and accessible if I will only come into it.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?  No

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?  Yes