Mary M's NDE

Experience description: 

I was sound asleep and awoke to hear Jeffrey Long on Coast to Coast this evening. Although I do not like sharing my past with many because I realize that certain experiences are very unsettling for those who have not had similar ones, I also felt rather compelled to write to you.

Over 35 years ago, about two months after my oldest son was born, my kidneys shut down from the presence of multiple kidneys stones blocking the openings to both kidneys. After weeks in the hospital, my fever was over 106 degrees from the poisoning of my blood. I can vaguely remember receiving last rights as I was wheeled off to the operating room for one of the first blood baths in this country. (Blood bath wherein they take your blood heat it and return it to your body)

I can remember floating above the operation theater and listening to the doctors discuss the fact that I was dead anyway and they should try this new technique for the advancement of medicine. At the same time I could feel a pulling sensation and the room filled with a wondrous warm light and as my body drifted towards the light I continued to see the medical team working on my body. The closer I got to the light it felt warm and peaceful and I could hear muffled voice and music.

The operation continued in vain and I could see the pads being put on my chest and hear the sound on the monitor that indicated I had lost my vitals. (no heart beat, no breathing) I just kept drifting closer to the light until I heard a voice I did not recognize that I needed to return to my body, and that it was not time yet. I was being pushed back, and I did not want to go either.

I literally fell back into my body, and awoke days later to see my doctor's smile. he told me, "Welcome back...we have been waiting for you to wake up!" I tried to tell him about the light and being told it was not my time to leave yet, and he told me that many people who almost die have this experience and that I was going to be just fine and should try to rest while he notified my husband that I was awake. I rolled over and had a horrific pain in my side and screamed. My monitor was buzzing again indicating that my vitals were failing. The nurse and doctor came running in and he ordered me back to surgery. As we were chasing down the hall, I told him that he had not sealed one of the valves properly during the operation.

Days later I awoke again to find my doctor staring at me. He looked like he had not slept in days. This time all he wanted to know was "How did you know what went wrong during your operation?" I told him once again that I had watch the operation. He just stared and gave me a hug and went to get my husband.

Years ago I would share this story until I realized that most people thought I was nuts and had a very active imagination. I have lived a very long life and now at 55. I have always had a great sensitivity to people since I was a child, but overtime this has developed into a knowing when things affect family, friends and to a point strangers. I guess hearing Dr. Long, I feel safe telling you that this really does happen.

Thank you for listening....

Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?     Uncertain, I entered the hospital with complete renal failure and was given morphine. Past that, I have little or no memory.

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes, I am not sure I can truly express what happened in a way that is understandable by others. When I repeat the story, people usually become very unhinged and do not want me to continue.

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          Yes

I stopped breathing and my heart stopped.

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?           Floating above my body, I was totally aware of what was happening. The light was very bright and only made it easier to see the operation on my body, and hear what was happening.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   No, I was not in a dream state. I was wide awake and conscious of my surroundings.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Uncertain

I was in my operating gown and looked just like myself on the table.

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?           Voices I did not recognize and soft music.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?          No

Did you see a light?           Yes, A soft white light.

Did you meet or see any other beings?           No

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?    No

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?           No

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes

I seemed to be in suspension. On one hand, I was watching a medical team trying to save my life, while floating in a soft white light that made we want to go toward the sounds and music.

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    Yes, I felt at peace, and knew that it was not my time to leave earth for whatever reason, I just knew it.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No

Did you become aware of future events?       No

Were you involved in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the body?       Yes

I did not want to return to my body, and kept floating closer to the voices and music. I remember a voice I did not know telling me I had to return, because it was not my time, and with that literally falling back into my body. I think I made the table shake, because it startled the surgeon.

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         Yes

I glow at times. I know that sounds odd, but people will come up and touch me out of nowhere and especially children. If I let it happen, I can probably read your mind. It just happens. I have to keep very focused on what I am doing not to allow myself to listen into somebody's thoughts. I can also communicate with animals.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   Yes, I know I am one with God.

How has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices?       I am a daily communicant and know that I have very strong opinions about life and the quality of life here on earth. It is not so simple to know certain things and I keep very much to myself. I would like to think that part of my purpose is to help others, and people, complete strangers at times, will tell me what is troubling them and why. I try to contribute to my community through activism, most involving women and children.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Yes

It changes daily depending on what I am doing and who comes into my life.



Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes

Yes, my family, who does not want to know and find it difficult to talk about. They just consider that I am smarter than anyone else and that accounts for my behavior. Every now and again, I will meet somebody who is also touched in similar ways and we can share our experiences.

What emotions did you experience following your experience?  Peace, a peace I cannot put into words that explain my feelings accurately.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      Perhaps knowing what my relationship with God is and in that knowledge is a responsibility to help others.

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?        No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         Yes, I have had several near death experiences and have never been afraid. I have no real fear of anything or anyone.

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes

This is not something I share with strangers or friends for a very obvious reason wherein people are not prepared to hear it. I think I have a clear understanding of life and my purpose, and that God has shown me the meaning of unconditional love for others.

Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.    Not really. Each person has their own individual moment that is necessary for them to move forward with their life here on earth. We are here for a reason and stay for the season that is necessary to fulfill our purpose. For those who do not accept that there is a loving God, I think they will return many times until they understand.