Martin E's NDE

Experience description: 

I had been in the hospital for 8 to 10 hours before they decided to perform an exploratory on me to see what was causing all the pain.  I lost track of time and only determined that weeks afterward.  The pain was all consuming.  I do remember that I was in a hallway, outside the operating theater laying on a gurney.  I was moaning from the pain.  A corpsman walked up and said the pain should subside because they gave me a pre-anesthetic.  I remember being rolled into the operating theater, the pain lessening.  A mask was place on my face and I was told to breath deep. 

The next thing I knew was that I was rising up from my body toward the ceiling.  I kind of knew my body and other people were below me, but I kept looking up.  I stopped near the ceiling light, it was next to my face, very bright.  Next thing I knew I was outside over a river but before a slight rise in the land with a small house off to the left, and there was a lady, dark long hair (a little curl, shoulder length), about my age, who was extremely happy to see me.  I was not standing on the ground.  She had her hands on both sides of my head and kissed me a couple times (not sexual, just happy to see me).  She hugged me.  She didn't speak, but told me that she was very happy to see me again, that she knows I don't remember her, but it was ok, because she loved me and I would remember if I came with her.  More importantly, I had a decision to make...it was perfectly alright if I wanted to return to my life and it would be perfectly alright if I went with her.  It was up to me.  I do remember feeling a sense of almost overwhelming serenity, it was great.

I also noticed an old man, white hair, heavy set with a neutral look on his face.  He was waiting for me to decide.  He was to my right and down a little bit.  There was a wooden door behind him and he had a bunch of keys on his belt.  He didn't look me in the eye or communicate with me in any way.  I didn't get a feeling if he was good or bad, he was just waiting, very patient.  I also knew that if he opened the door I would not be returning.  I don't remember any fear, but I did know he would accomplish whatever my decision would be.

The ceiling light was still near my face at that time and I knew I was still in the hospital operating theater, but I was also up above and outside at the same time with these two people.  I remember a sense of calm, a feeling that everything was alright.  I did have a decision to make though. 

The lady was still reassuring me that I would be happy and everything would fall into place if I went with her, but she would also understand if I stayed.  I remember thinking that I wasn't finished yet.  That there was something I had to do yet.  What that was, I didn't know, but I did know I didn't finish what I was supposed to do.  I told them I had to go back.  I turned away and felt myself going down...my decision made.  The ceiling light was growing dimmer.  I was glad to get it out of my face.

I remember going back into my body and, as soon as I did, I sat up and a lady placed a hand on my chest, pushing me down and telling me that I had to lay down, the doctor wasn't done yet.  I said ok and laid down.  I heard the other people in the room talking but I can't remember what they said.  I felt a mask being placed over my mouth and nose.  I also knew it was a nurse and not the dark haired lady.  I wanted to tell her that I came back but I don't know if I did or not. 

Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?     No, I was under an anesthetic (my spelling sucks), but no other drugs

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes, Makes you sound like a nut, who perhaps is looking for attention or worse self importance.

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          Yes

volvulous of the small bowel...exploratory surgery revealed the small intestines were black from being twisted...cut off blood supply that was killing me.

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?           I was alert as I am now

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   no

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Yes, the same

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?           other than the whole experience...no

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?          No

Did you see a light?           Uncertain, it was the ceiling light right next to my face, it shinned into my eyes.

Did you meet or see any other beings?           Yes

There were 2 people, female with dark hair that was overjoyed to see me (she knew me, but I didn't know her), and an older male with white hair who did not communicate with me, but I knew he was waiting, patiently, neutrally, for me to make up my mind to stay or not.

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?    No

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No, but I didn't ask either

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?           Yes, summertime, by a river, small house nearby, outside, but I knew the operating theater was directly below me

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes

time was there, but not important at the moment...I can't really describe it other than to say I knew I was up by the ceiling in the operating room and I was also outside by a river with 2 people I didn't know.

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    Yes, Everything that exists is connected.  Earth is only a part of a living, vibrant everything else.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes, I did not cross, but came close.  I also know that if I did go through the door, I would not be coming back.

Did you become aware of future events?       No

Were you involved in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the body?       Yes

Returning was entirely up to me.  I was reassured that if I stayed, everything would be alright.  I didn't need the reassurance, I knew it, don't know how, but I knew it and felt it.

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         No

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   Yes

Yes, but I really knew them beforehand. It made me realize what was important, not to be confused with making a living, even though you still have to pay your bills.

How has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices?       Made me think about life more than I would have.  I know responsibility toward others is important.  Religion is the very breath you breath, but not what you pray for.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Yes

I know what is important in my life, for instance, I'm not anywhere near financial independence, but I don't worry about money (I also pay my bills).  I'm definitely a better, more forgiving person toward others and I don't sweat the small stuff.  I have an open mind.

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes

Four separate times...polite listening, not believed.  To be honest I don't know what they really thought about my experience.

What emotions did you experience following your experience?  Peace

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      Returning to my life.  I knew I had a purpose to come back, but I also know I left a better place.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes

Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.    I haven't given you my last name, phone number, address, or job information.  I did give you my e-mail address.  I don't know if I want my name on this or how telling you my experience will effect my future.  I didn't plan on filling this out.