EXPERIENCE DESCRIPTION:
The car that was transporting us broke down in front of a small
cemetery. My father was seated in front next to the driver, my mother and
my grandmother were in back. My grandmother had a baby in her arms I didn't
recognize. I felt the pain and grief of everyone. They were suffering
because of me. They were broken-hearted and I didn't understand why. I was
seated next to my father and the driver of the car and I told him I felt
fine, that he didn't need to worry, but he didn't appear to see me or hear
me.
Just by thinking about it I put myself
right in front of my mother and grandmother, and I also shouted at them not
to cry over me, that I was just fine. My grandmother said something I found
really amusing. ("How funny. The car dies right in front of a cemetery!")
I laughed a lot. My dear grandmother's sense of humor really amused me. I
knew and recognized each one of them, I felt their feelings and read their
thoughts, but it was impossible for me to communicate with them. When I
understood that they didn't see me nor hear me, I decided to "return home."
There was only one thing out of place; that baby my grandmother was
carrying in her arms wrapped in a black shawl she had woven herself. I
didn't know who it was. It said absolutely nothing to me and its presence
there seemed absurd to me.
I left the car by the roof,
floating--which seemed normal to me--and I paused looking at the
countryside. It was dusk, the fields were in bloom, the rosemary and thyme
and even the rocks were surrounded by an aura of pastel colored light. It
had rained a few days before and the earth was wet and renewed. Everything
emanated beauty and light and I was enthralled contemplating the earth. Of
a sudden the sun, which was a golden color, began growing bigger and bigger
and I "felt" that I could return home that way, to my place of origin, to
the place I had come from. At the moment I tried to put myself into that
enormous ball of light I heard and perceived a voice that said, "NO!" I
couldn't continue forward. That voice kept me back. It had power and
authority over what happened. It said to me sweetly, "You have to return."
I told it--rather I yelled at it--that nobody saw me nor heard me, nobody
was aware of my presence nor of my existence and, above all else, I didn't
know where I had to return to nor how to do it.
It was then at this Presence
indicated to me that the body of the baby was the place I had to return to.
That inert body, unfeeling, that small and asphyxiated place...that baby was
me!
At that moment I felt enormous pain
and an oppression that extended to my whole BEING. I said to the Voice that
returning would require forgetting, that I would have a long journey before
remembering who I was and that it was possible I would never find out. It's
the most difficult thing I have had to do, EVER.
The Voice, sweet but powerful, told me
to return, that I could not return "home" yet and it made me a promise that
it would always be by my side.
Now I don't remember anything more.
What happened afterward has been told to me by my parents many times. They
were able to fix the car, we arrived at the village and the doctor certified
my death. But even so, he consented to give me a serum because my father,
overcome with grief, threatened to kill him if he didn't. A few hours after
dying, they say I let out a moan...
I should explain that during my
experience I perceived myself as an adult, COGNIZANT, THINKING, SENTIENT AND
WITH A SENSE OF HUMOR, just like I am now.
I have continued to have experiences
"from the other side" the rest of my life and it took me many years to
understand that it wasn't something that happened to everyone. I have
learned to live with it, although it has been a lonely and misunderstood
path.
Today I can say that I have
remembered, that I remember who I am, and I'm glad they kept me from
returning when I wasn't supposed to. Oh! And the Voice fulfilled its
promise.
Was the kind of experience difficult
to express in words?
Yes For many years I couldn't explain it because I hadn't learned how to
talk. I thought it was something normal. That experience has accompanied
me my whole life, and I remember it as though it happened 5 minutes ago.
At the time of this experience, was
there an associated life threatening event?
Yes Profound dehydration, possible coma, and multiple systemic
breakdowns.
At what time during the experience
were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?
During the whole experience.
How did your highest level of
consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal
every day consciousness and alertness?
More consciousness and alertness than normal
If your highest level of consciousness
and alertness during the experience was different from your normal every day
consciousness and alertness, please explain:
I could feel the feelings of the others, and hear their thoughts. I knew
everything about everything including myself. I had full consciousness of
what is and what isn't. I felt the Beauty of all things, the beauty of
existence. I knew it was alive and eternal. It's difficult, if not
impossible, to find the precise words that can express everything I
experienced.
Did your vision differ in any way from
your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of
vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of
solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?
Yes Everything was surrounded by light, everything was alive. I could
see what was opaque and what was transparent, what was visible to the human
eye and what was invisible, and I knew what it was that I was looking at (my
physical body was that of a 5 month old baby).
Did your hearing differ in any way
from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability
to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?
Uncertain I can't say
that I heard with my physical ears, but rather I perceived the thoughts or
ideas with my whole being. It's hard to explain.
Did you experience a separation of
your consciousness from your body?
Yes
What emotions did you feel during the
experience?
Fullness or Plenitude, Peace, Beauty, Expansion of my Self, Pain at having
to return.
Did you pass into or through a tunnel
or enclosure?
No
Did you see a light?
Yes The Sun was the pathway "home."
Did you meet or see any other beings?
Yes I didn't see anyone, but there was clearly someone there. It was a
presence that I cannot deny.
Did you experience a review of past
events in your life?
No I have lived my life trying not to forget.
Did you observe or hear anything
regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified
later? Yes All
the details of the countryside and everything everyone who was with me was
thinking and saying. When I was 20 years old I told my mother about
everything I saw. She turned pale and told me everything was true. The
color of the car, the size of the cemetery, the color of the car seats, how
they were dressed, what they thought, what they said...everything.
Did you see or visit any beautiful or
otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?
Yes Everything that surrounded me was beautiful, and what surrounded me
was the earth where I live.
Did you have any sense of altered
space or time? Yes
There was no passage of time, space simply is and was.
Did you have a sense of knowing
special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?
Yes There was a purpose I didn't understand, my only obsession was not to
forget who I am.
Did you reach a boundary or limiting
physical structure? Yes
There was a command not to go into the sun. If I had been able to do it, it
would have been total happiness.
Did you become aware of future events?
Yes
Through dreams I am told of
important events to come into my life. Somehow I feel I am being prepared
to deal with them, although I don't know how or why. Yes, I know what is
going to happen. It never fails.
Did you have any psychic, paranormal
or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to
the experience?
Uncertain I was 5 months old when it happened. I have grown with
certain gifts that have always been with me. I can't determine if I had
them before or not since I was a baby.
Have you shared this experience with
others? Yes When
I was 20. For many years after that I was considered crazy. Over time,
there have been people who have been profoundly impressed. THROUGH MY WORK
(I'M A NURSE) I HAVE BEEN WITH MANY DYING PEOPLE, AND THOSE I HAVE BEEN ALBE
TO TELL MY STORY ABOUT THE OTHER SIDE TO HAVE BEEN FILLED WITH HOPE, AND
THE FEAR OF DEATH HAS DISAPPEARED FROM THEM.
Did you have any knowledge of near
death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?
No
How did you view the reality of your
experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:
Experience was definitely real I'm 48 years old. The experience occurred
when I was 5 months old. I remember it as if it just happened.
Were there one or several parts of the
experience especially meaningful or significant to you?
When I found out I had to return to my body it was terrible.
How do you currently view the reality
of your experience:
Experience was definitely real I've already answered this question.
Have your relationships changed
specifically as a result of your experience?
Uncertain I have always lived with this knowledge. I believe my entire
life was changed since then.
Have your religious
beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?
Uncertain I had no religious knowledge. As I grew up I was educated in
the Catholic religion. There, I tried to find the Presence I heard. At age
20 I left all religious beliefs. Within me I have always known that
religions, all of them, only confuse and manipulate.
Following the experience, have you had
any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced
any part of the experience?
Uncertain I have continued to leave and reenter my body, involuntarily,
but they have been experiences of all kinds. Very formative.
Is there anything else you would like
to add concerning the experience?
LIFE is very much more transcendent than what we imagine. LIFE IS. Death
is only a small step.
Did the questions asked and
information you provided so far accurately and comprehensively describe your
experience? Yes
