Madeleine S's NDE

Experience description: 

I inhaled the gas, as the nurse said I should, for a long while. A long time passed, then the dentist increased the percentage of pure gas. I remember I had palpitations, felt horror, anxiety and that I couldn't move or adjust my vision. I felt sheer panic and remember I wanted the nurse and dentist to see from the look in my eyes that something was terribly wrong with me. 

Then I heard a loud ringing sound, like bells, in my ears, which kept on getting louder, the sound continued, and I thought it sounded so awful. God, I have to "wake up", I thought, because something terrible is going to happen..... high anxiety. Then I remember I was in a dark place that seemed to be spinning around me, but after a while I noticed it was me that was "drawn" forward at high speed towards a small light. I stopped there and felt rather sad because I thought I had really died, and I grieved the loss of my daughter, that I wouldn't be able to see her any more (she was 7 years old at the time). 

I heard two different female voices talking to me. I don't remember everything they said, but it was a lot, and the sound came from behind me. I wanted to turn around, but couldn't. They said "Madeleine, the purpose of your life is among other things to try to have as much fun as possible, forget the sad things that happened and laugh and smile as much as you possibly can. Everything is going to be all right for you. Humor is very important," the two women said.

I remember having a kind of sinking feeling in my stomach all the time, and it went on when I was drawn out of my body and "ended up" in a corner of the room. From there I watched the other two who were working with me. In a second or so I was beside the right cheek of the dentist, and I could feel his beard brushing against my left cheek. It was a shocking experience to be so close to him without him seeing or feeling my presence.

I heard them talking to one another and saying I had stopped breathing, and that he would do heart massage, which he proceeded to do. I saw that all color drained from my face "down below in the chair", and I got very scared. Then these bells came back in my ears and I felt the sinking feeling in my stomach even stronger. All at once I was lying in the chair with the dentist hanging over me with a sweaty face. I started crying hysterically when I told them what happened to me. They were pretty calm about it and comforted me. He said he noticed that I was "gone" for a while and that it can happen if the percentage of pure gas is wrong, he said he had it happen before. I went to a psychologist directly afterwards and talked about this experience.

Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience:  Uncertain

      Explanation:  I only remember the gas, but there could have been some mild sedative, like stesolid, because of my dentist phobia at the time. 

Was the experience difficult to express in words?  No

At the time of the experience, was there an associated life threatening event?  Uncertain

      Describe:  The dentist said afterwards that I stopped breathing completely, and because of it he felt an urgent need to wake me up rather abruptly, by pounding on my chest and shaking me. 

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?  I was both frightened and shocked, but felt totally alert.

Was the experience dream like in any way?  No, not dream like as in an ordinary dream. But incredibly strange and a bit surreal. I felt like I couldn't control the course of events at all.

Did you experience a separation of consciousness from your body?  Yes

Describe your appearance or form apart from your body:  In a purely physical sense I felt small, as if it was only my head that "went" up to Stefan, the dentist. I couldn't see my body, the feeling was so different from everything else, so it's a bit difficult to find the right words.

What emotions did you feel during the experience?  Panic, anxiety, fear, surprise, strong grief (separation anxiety)

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?  Bells ringing louder and louder, a low buzzing sound when I felt the speed in going towards the small point of light.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?  Yes

      Describe:  A dark place, darkness all around me, that I then saw was like a tunnel around me. 

Did you see a light?  Yes

      Describe:  Just a small speck of light

Did you meet or see any other beings?  Yes

      Describe:  I didn't see them, I just heard them. There were two different female voices talking to me. I didn't recognize the voices. They sounded a bit "metallic".

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?  No

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?  No

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?  Yes

      Describe:  It was a feeling like being deep down in a cavern or something similar, I felt it distinctly all the time.

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?  Yes

      Describe:  I got some knowledge as to what my life was supposed to be about, among other things that humor was important to me. I'm the humorous kind of person, I have always liked humor and crazy pranks, so it might seem somewhat strange that they gave me such an order, because I already had a lot of humor in my life.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?  No

      Describe:  Don't remember, really.

Did you become aware of future events?  No

      Describe:  I felt that these two "women" knew that everything would be all right for me in the future.

Were you involved in or aware of a decision to return to the body?  No

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?  Yes

      Describe:  Sometimes dreams that come true, I see energy around people and plants very clearly, hear a voice in my left ear sometimes "talking" to me. Don't know who it is. Can spontaneously "see" images around a person about their state of health among other things. Can see spirits at home and in other peoples homes. My intuition became very strong afterwards.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?  Yes

      Describe:  I wanted to live differently in regard to other people and their lives and destinies. Helping others is important to me, the most important thing of all. A feeling that the soul is immortal.

Has the experience affected your relationships?  Daily life?  Religious practices etc.?  Career choices?  Definitely. I studied for regression therapist and I'm going to study for spiritual counselor, and do a mediumship training. I've taken a healing class where they encouraged me to keep on studying subjects on the spiritual path. 

Have you shared this experience with others?  Yes

      Describe:  The few who know about it have never even for a second laughed, doubted my experience or ridiculed me in any way. I've been treated kindly. 

What emotions did you experience following your experience?  Bewildered. Cried a lot because I had all these feelings, all kinds of feelings. Difficult to give a straight answer. Then after some time I felt blessed in some way, like something important had happened that was critical to me.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?  The worst was the anxiety, that I thought I was going to die, and that I couldn't move. The best was the parapsychological aftereffects. A deep understanding within, a kind of confirmation that there is something more.

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?  Not at this time.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?  Yes

      Describe:  I feel secure now, I didn't before.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?  No

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?  Yes

Please offer any suggestions you have to improve the www.nderf.org questionnaire?  I thought your questions were really good as they were. Thank you for letting me share what happened to me at the Dental Clinic.