Lorraine I's NDE

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Experience description: 

When I left my body, I was several inches above it, and it took me a few moments to understand.  I began to slowly rise and entered the path of light that was coming through the window which seemed to show an outline of my 'body' and I was worried they may see it.  I realized I was dead as I looked down on my body on the bed.  I realized that all the experiences of 'Lorraine' were left behind, in her mind, and that I was something separate.  I thought about my funeral and how people would react, that my parents would be upset, but that was o.k. as 'pain' was something that was natural and that they would simply have to live through and accept.  These people were my 'earthly' parents.  The connection had been left behind.

I rose through the house and above the roofs and I could see into the peoples back gardens (some time after I returned I had planned to put a note through people's doors to tell them what I had seen of their homes) I rose higher and had an aerial view of the surroundings and imagined a police car turning up to the house to discover my body. 

I then entered some other dimension and was greeted by people who I feel were my relatives or at least were absolutely overjoyed to see me and greeted me with overwhelming love.  I have a split second recollection of being then surrounded by the most beautiful living light, which breathed and surrounded me with unimaginable love.  I was told I had to return and this caused me terrible emotional pain to have to go back to my life and that room again.  In order to give me strength, I was shown my future, from the point of return, all through my entire life.  It was flashed across the sky and I was living and experiencing every moment of it, right up until my death.  There were years and years of terrible pain, I couldn't believe it went on for so long, but slowly it began to lesson and then to level out and then slowly, good feelings and events began to happen and they got better and better until my future was full of wonderful happy experiences, feelings and events.  I then found myself back in my body. 

I could hear one of the men sounding worried and saying that I could get off the bed.  He said it several times until I finally registered that I was back.  I felt that I was in hell, I had experienced hell then heaven and then returned to hell again, all in the space of an hour or so.  They showed me the door after telling me not to tell anyone but I couldn't believe they even had to ask me.  I felt so contaminated and poisoned that I felt I was one of them.  I didn't want to live or leave the house, but they showed me the door. 

I went home and didn't tell anyone, and in a very short space of time I lost faith in what I was shown and instead believed that 'god' was cruelly torturing me and that I had done something terrible.  We used to say prayers every day in school and I can remember looking at all the other children in the class, remembering how I had been one of them, not really believing that there was really anything beyond, but knowing now that there was, and that they were all in ignorance of this knowledge.  I remember looking in the mirror at my face and my body and realizing it was just a shell, and that I was spirit.

Within a space of approximately three months, I had managed to remove all memory of the attack and the NDE from my conscious knowledge

Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?     No

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? No response

Repressed the experience entirely until a lot older (21) due to association with the attack.  Have only had the briefest of conscious recollection but enough to have a deep significance. Awareness that the knowledge of it is extremely vivid on another level and has a huge continuing impact on my life.

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          Yes

I was held against my will by two men in their home.  During the attack I have a vague recollection that something appeared in the room (translucent figure made of light).  At the end of the attack, my breathing was obstructed by one of the men and this is when I found myself several inches above my body, looking down on myself and the two men on the bed.

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?           Highly conscious and alert

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   No, not in the slightest

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Yes

As stated above, I was aware that my experiences were left with the body, in the brain, the mind.  My consciousness was separate and different.  Time, earthly time was inconsequential.  Earthly pain also.  For example, even the greatest amount of pain on earth was in reality nothing.  Life was just a split second, not even that, to what it really is

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?           Can't remember sound or noise

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?          No

Did you see a light?           Yes

Beautiful doesn't come close to describing it.  Imagine those times when sunshine lifts your spirits and how it feels to see it on the water or coming through windows or sunsets and sunrises, or coming through trees, all those beautiful experiences of sunshine.  Now multiply this a thousand fold and you may come close to understanding its beauty.

Did you meet or see any other beings?           Yes

During the attack, before I left my body, a have a feeling that a figure appeared in the room.  I saw a movement of an arm, and thought they had placed something on the bed.  my eyes widened in surprise, the two men were very close to me on the bed and the figure was behind them.  The figure was made of light,  a golden light and it raised it's finger to its lips as if to say to keep quiet about its presence.

When I left my body, I believe I was greeted by people, some of whom could have been relatives.  they were overjoyed that I was joining them and hoped that I was staying.  I can't remember words.  Lastly the light that was communicating with me and which showed me my future: I can't remember words spoken, but we were definitely communicating, perhaps through emotion

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes

Yes, as mentioned above, earthly time was inconsequential.  Even the greatest pain i.e the holocaust was inconsequential due to the infinite nature of time and our meaning on earth

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    Uncertain, only in the sense of time being different and obviously that we were spirit and something beyond and separate to our bodies

Did you become aware of future events?       Yes

As mentioned, I repressed the experience, but what I have since briefly recalled seems to fit.  I have indeed experienced years of excruciating pain and never believed I would be released but at around the age of 26 things began to alter and slowly it is being turned around, and this is happening more and more until I am stronger than ever before in my life and with this healing, my faith is getting increasingly stronger.

Were you involved in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the body?       Yes

As stated, I was told I had to return, felt overwhelming pain at this knowledge and was shown my future to give me strength, I then returned.

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         Uncertain

I can't really put the feeling into words but I feel I have knowledge and insight about human nature and life due to what I experienced, but nothing I would describe as a particular special gift

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   Uncertain

Cant give a straightforward answer to that as it is all still in process of unfolding/happening.

How has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices?       Again, can't give clear response as it is complex, long term and unfolding

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Yes

If I hadn't experienced it, I don't think I would be alive and/or intact now.  I believe that I have been protected because of the experience

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes

I have spoken with a small number of people.  One tried to explain it as due to lack of oxygen to the brain which I didn't appreciate but others have been open to the experience

What emotions did you experience following your experience?  Hell!!!! I thought god hated me or else it wouldn't have happened and the showing me my future was just part of some sick cruel game he was playing with me

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      best: being there.  Worst: returning

 Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.    well, a lot of investment went into describing the experience and then I found that I had to repeat a lot of it again.  Perhaps it is best to ask the specific questions first, and then have the box to allow a general account?