Lorena S's NDE

Experience description: 

They brought me to surgery on a stretcher; I was talking to the anaesthetist ( Mrs. Otamendi), medical serum was injected on my right arm, when I watched my clock ( round, made of plastic, white with a black frame) and noticed that it was 18.20pm of that blessed 29^th of January 2004.

Around 18.25pm they were injecting me in my left armpit ( it was obviously the anesthetic ( just partial anesthetic, recommended for this kind of surgery). At the first puncture, the anesthesiologist asked me whether I was feeling the stream/current. Dialog follows:

1st puncture.

Anaesthetist: “ Are you feeling the stream/current?”

I: “Nope”

She: “How come?”

I: “Nope”, pretty sure about it.

And I can not remember anything else from the surgery room. Only now starts my beautiful experience. I will tell you and I am sure that, when listening to it, you will feel how love takes over your souls

There is nobody with me, I feel how I am falling into very obscure/dark emptiness/void. But I cross it in no time, being able to see and feel the presence of my grandfather and a shiny light behind him, extremely radiant and white, that did not harm my eyes.

It was my Dad’s dad, yes, my beloved grandpa, whom I loved so much. He was standing on the air ( I hardly remembered him this way, since he died 12 years ago, on the 12^th of January 1992, and he suffered from this horrible illness – diabetes- who made him lie down on a bed for a long period and destroyed his immunity system. In my memory, he was living his life from this bed.).

He was wearing white, long sleeved dressing gown, tied on the neck – as an angel, but provided with no wings-, that matched his scarce white hair. This dressing gown was long enough, but I still could see his bare feet on the air, just as if his body was weightless, just some few grams. He, initially, was just staring at me, yes, staring at me full of tenderness, opening his arms and telling me that he came for me….

….I do not know what really happened, but all of a sudden, when I wanted to go with him, he would not let me enter/ go inside and just at that precise moment I saw a big circle/round of  people I did not know at all. Only the one leading this people was familiar to me; it was my grandpa.

They did not let me in, on my grandpa’s request. I tried and tried to get in through the gap , in between my grandpa and a woman ( with the same dressing gown and dark hair), whose back was the only thing at sight. However, he did not let me in and I was not ready to hear that…I just wanted to get in, but he kept saying no, he kept saying that I shouldn’t get in…that he would come back for me with the time being, not now….

I remember, I am aware of it, how distressed I felt  then, since I knew that if I managed to cross his arms , holding both hands together, I would be able to feel forever THAT PEACE that invaded me when I saw THAT LIGHT.

I knew that if I managed to join that round/circle of people, the best was to come…I knew it, I was feeling it…That’s why I didn’t want, my only wish was to join my grandpa…when, all of a sudden, I started feeling how somebody was stroking my head, tears where crossing my cheek…

It was then when I recall having asked for my beloved son Facu. I asked: “And my baby”? A woman whom I did not know replied to me: “ Your baby is with his granny”. And I replied to her that he was with my sister.

And then, somebody, not sure if the same woman, said to me: “Lorena, do not force yourself …(since I was not able to pronounce properly)…your whole family is waiting outside for you and all of us are with you know”

The next thing is that I was in recovery and I had my mum on my left hand side and auntie Nelly on my right hand side, both of them holding my hands and stroking my head. I told mum: “Grandpa comes for me now” and she replied crying by saying that grandpa was not coming for me, since he is aware that we need you on this side with us and Facu…and I insisted in repeating the same, but distressed, since I was not with him any longer.

I recall how fast I requested my dad’s presence and how I told him: “Daddy, I was with Grandpa, he is coming for me."  I did the same to my sister Naty. I think I fell asleep. I woke up in a shared room.

Here I am, with all my beloved relatives- among them, my son and husband-. Today is 19^th of January 2004 and I remember it as real , full of peace and love.

I want to share with you details of the surgery ( it was a surgery that should not take longer then half an hour, according to the surgeon). Amazingly, it took three hours and a half!

I went into surgery room at 18.20pm, 18.25pm injected with anaesthetic, and left surgery at 21.45pm (according to my husband). Surgeons explained my relatives how it was not expected for me to stay in hospital, but that I had to, since – according to them- I suffered a regressive/backward crisis. 

Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience:  No

Was the experience difficult to express in words?  No

At the time of the experience, was there an associated life threatening event?  Yes

All this happened during surgery. We are not sure whether it was caused by anaesthetic overdose or surgeons trying to hide things from us (lying to us)

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience? 

I think I was conscious during my experience.

Was the experience dream like in any way?  Nope, I am pretty sure that it was for real

Did you experience a separation of consciousness from your body?  Uncertain

Describe your appearance or form apart from your body: 

Not sure. As far as I am concerned, I was having this experience with all my soul.

What emotions did you feel during the experience?  My soul was invaded with an immensurable feel of peace; happiness about seeing Grandpa.

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?  I did not hear any sound at all. Everything was in quietness and peace. 

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?  Yes, this was no tunnel, but very dark void alike.

Did you see a light?  Yes, It was  very shiny and calming…

Did you meet or see any other beings?  Yes, It was my beloved Dad’s dad, who died on 12^th January 1992, who told me how he had came for me and how he then repented and did not let me into the big circle/round, full of people not familiar to me.

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?  No

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?  Yes, I clearly remember how a woman asked somebody, with some worried note in her voice and kind of distressed, whether I was allergic to any medicine in particular. Then, my husband, told me how the anesthetist, separately, had asked him the same question.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?  Uncertain, Not sure, since I saw Grandpa so healthy, but at the same time, I felt it as real.

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?  Yes, After my experience, I know for sure that there is an after-death and that it is beautiful- it is the beginning of a world full of peace and love.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?  Yes, My boundary was that circle formed by my Grandpa and all this people. Once crossed, there was no way back to this life; if I had crossed it, however, I would by now with Grandpa, in complete peace and full of love.

Did you become aware of future events?  No

Were you involved in or aware of a decision to return to the body?  Yes, It happened when Grandpa did not let me in. I felt distressed and did not want to comply . I kept on trying to cross that circle.

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?  No 

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?  Yes,

I know it for sure that death is just the beginning of something much better. I went to talk to a priest and he replied to me that there was an after-death for sure.

Has the experience affected your relationships?  Daily life?  Religious practices etc.?  Career choices?  My relationships improved. I can not help thinking of my experience and all that would have been affected by my physical death, above all, my son’s future.

Have you shared this experience with others?  Yes

With my family and friends. They believed me, a little bit scared of my death, though- specially my mum and dad.

What emotions did you experience following your experience?  More emotional, even sentimental….Very prone to cry….I ask lots of questions to myself and cannot find any valid answer….

What was the best and worst part of your experience?  The best was seeing Grandpa and feeling that inmense sense of peace that invaded my soul. The worst part was to feel how distressed my relatives were/how much were they suffering, since they did not know what was happening to me, when I kept trying to cross the circle and to remain with grandpa- feeling the light and peace all inside me.

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?  I am very happy to know that I’ll go to Heaven and stay there with my Grandparents- I know the destiny of my beloved ones.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?  No 

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?  No, It was not long ago.

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?  Yes, All questions asked in here reflect in a certain way my recent experience.

Please offer any suggestions you have to improve the www.nderf.org questionnaire? 

Just that I would like to know how long it takes this experience and why is this happening. I know that there is not much that could possibly be explained, just our own faith. I would appreciate some more info about NDE