Liz R's NDE

Experience description: 

It was a Saturday night and I was hanging out with my friends and we were smoking marijuana. I had been smoking a lot and really started to feel the effects. My boyfriend was in another room and I went to see what he was doing. All of a sudden I felt really tall and I thought the room was shrinking. I started getting really scared and my boyfriend tried to tell me something and I punched him. Right then he told everyone to leave because I never act like that. I started crying and so did my boyfriend which scared me even more.

Eventually I started having trouble breathing and my boyfriend had to call an ambulance. By the time they got there, I had turned white as a ghost and my chest had gone dumb. I can't really remember anything after that until I heard the EMT talking to me. He was trying to get me to stay awake. They had hooked me up to a heart monitor. I could hear it but I couldn't figure out where it was. Then I heard it flat-line. The EMT started shouting at the driver to hurry up and the sirens were turned on. I started freaking out and asked the EMT if I was going to die, He said he didn't know.

After he said that I started have more trouble breathing. I remember thinking "Dear God, please don't let me die. I swear I will never do anything so stupid again. Please God I have so much to live for. What will happen to mom if I die. Especially if I die like this." I kept saying that over and over in my head. I had never prayed so hard in my life. All of a sudden everything became very quiet and I felt very peaceful. I was surrounded by a brilliant white light and felt very safe and happy. I felt like I was floating and I could see everything that was happening to me. I saw myself lying in the ambulance and I became very frightened. I looked so horrible. My eyes were half-way opened and I was shaking violently. My skin had turned ashy gray.

I realized that my boyfriend was crying in the front seat. Then I felt a hand gently pushing my forward and then was back in my body, I guess, if I had left it. I stopped shaking and felt very peaceful. I knew I had walked the line and God gave me a second chance.

Later I found out I had only flat lined for a few seconds, but it seemed as if time had stopped. Ever since that night I have felt a presence with me everywhere, I guess you could say it's watching over me. Sometimes when I get myself in to trouble, the presence seems to become stronger.

Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?     Yes, I was high

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes, I just feel like there are no words to fully explain what happened to me. If there were, don't think anyone would understand or believe me.

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          Yes
My heart stopped beating

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?           I guess I was only half conscious.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   not really, it felt very real

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Yes
I couldn't see myself out of my body.

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?           I couldn't hear anything

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?          No

Did you see a light?           Yes, I was surrounded by a beautiful, bright, white light

Did you meet or see any other beings?           No

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?    No

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          Yes, I looked dead and my boyfriend was crying

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?           No

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes, Time felt like it had stopped

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    Uncertain, I just felt like everything would be alright.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No

Did you become aware of future events?       No

Were you involved in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the body?       Yes
I was pushed

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         I now feel the presence of something. It may be a guardian angel

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   Yes
My belief in God became much stronger

How has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices?       I no longer go to church but I feel very close to God.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Yes, I'm more happy, and feel safer

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes, I tried to tell my boyfriend about it but he said I was just high

What emotions did you experience following your experience?  extreme fatigue

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      Feeling that God was with me was the best part. Seeing myself the way I looked on that stretcher was the worst

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?        no

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes