Levi J's NDE

Experience description: 

        The first experience in 1971 I came out of the drug extremely fearful. Didn't remember much. In 72,same procedure, same dentist, when they administered the drug I entered the void. Feeling of slowing tumbling through grayish void, very alone, no one to answer my questions," where am I"," what am I doing here. No awareness of body.  Suddenly a light appears. I immediately go to it. Sensation of speed, hurling toward the light. I remember thinking what if this is death. What if I go there, I can't get back. The split second I have this thought the falling away happens.  Hellish, the proverbial whaling and gnashing of teeth; realizing you just lost your chance to be with god. Eternal failure. I come out of the drug during surgery scared straight. I remembered some.

In 1973,again same dentists, they administer the drug, I'm back in the void. I realize that I have been here before. The light appears again. No hesitation I go to it. Getting closer. All of a sudden I think," what if this is a trick?, what if this is bad. An extremely fearful situation. Boom!. I'm falling away. Hard to describe this hell. Again I come out of the drug extremely scared. I remember everything. Start studying religions, philosophy, especially God always described as light. After this, the dentists refuse to work on me.

In 1974 my mother took me to a different dentist. At the time I didn't realize what was happening. The dentist was totally unaware of my reaction. Again, when given the drug, I'm in the void. I'm totally familiar with this now and what is going to happen. Again the light. Again hurling toward it trying to put my total faith in what that light is. Again failure. Then I'm back in the void. The light again appears. Instead of going to the light I basically prostate myself in its presence and plead," what is it I can do to be with you, How can I serve you?" Boom. I'm with God. I can remember laughing hysterically, not in a physical way, but the impulse that would make you feel that good. I can remember repeating over and over again," Is this what it's all about. Then an annoying sonar type sound. It's distracting. It gets more warbled and in time becomes the voice of one very scared and frantic dentist. He has me by my shoulders and is frantically yelling at me to open my eyes. The nurse is trying to pull the needle out of my arm. A very intense moment. I remember everything. I learn true humility and now treasure it

Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience:  Yes

      Explanation:  Allergenic reaction to sodium pentothal

Was the experience difficult to express in words?  Yes

      What was it about the experience that makes it hard to communicate?  There wasn't any information available on the subject in the early 70's.mostly kept the information to myself until I fully understood what was happening

At the time of the experience, was there an associated life threatening event?  Yes

      Describe:  Extreme blood pressure drop. Cease breathing

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?  I felt very conscious, very alert

Was the experience dream like in any way?  No

Did you experience a separation of consciousness from your body?  Yes

Describe your appearance or form apart from your body:  No form

What emotions did you feel during the experience?  From total eternal failure, to total feeling of love. I experienced both.

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?  Yes

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?  Yes

Did you see a light?  Yes

Did you meet or see any other beings?  Yes

      Describe:  Just the light. Does God count as a being?. Just kidding

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?  Yes

      Describe:  Humility and humility. I now see that light in everyone I meet.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?  No

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?  Yes

      Describe:  I was total love before I was pulled back. Nice place to visit

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?  Uncertain

      Describe:  I find it hard to describe the void, the tunnel, the light, as a space or time thing.

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?  Yes

      Describe:  I've come to the conclusion that its so simple, its hard to explain. Its just love

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?  Yes

      Describe:  Went to the light willingly. Knew it would be good. Just wasn't sure how to do it.

Did you become aware of future events?  No

Were you involved in or aware of a decision to return to the body?  No

      Describe:  Dentist brought me from a long way back. He was absolutely shaken by what happened.

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?  Yes

      Describe:  Mostly the gift of knowledge. It's time for me to share it. I must have oral surgery again soon and I know what will happen. Feel I wouldn't fare well if I took this knowledge with me.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?  Yes

      Describe:  Just as most NDErs just feel great with life

Has the experience affected your relationships?  Daily life?  Religious practices etc.?  Career choices?  I find it hard to accept greed, hate, unfairness. Sort of a religious free agent. Quitting farming in protest.

Have you shared this experience with others?  Yes

      Describe:  To some it's very important to them. To others just interesting conversation.

What emotions did you experience following your experience?  For years it was just puzzling. Took a while to understand

What was the best and worst part of your experience?  Being with the light. Doubting the light.

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?  Has there been any tests involving someone that knows when he will go back to this experience. Under surgery, I know I will go there.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?  Yes

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?  Yes

      Describe:  I've scared doctors all of my life with bad reactions to shots and blood tests and such.

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?  Yes

Please offer any suggestions you have to improve the www.nderf.org questionnaire?  I attend the St. louis IANDS meetings hoping for questions. I feel that's why I am contacting you. I've been extremely hesitant in the past.