EXPERIENCE
DESCRIPTION:
At the time
of the hanging It was my weight was cutting off circulation to my brain. I
could have gotten up at anytime I wanted to but chose not to. All I remember is
I started floating down at a good pace down a dark tunnel filled with jewel
toned lights. Like they were bricks lining the tunnel and a black hole at the
end. I wasn't afraid or didn't feel anything. It was strange? I could hear
my friends that were alive telling me no Sue, no Sue. When I came to the wire
had broke and I was laying on the floor of my closet. I was upset at what I had
done and never attempted suicide again.
I have had
many opportunities were I could have been killed but something always seemed to
keep from death. When I was a young teenager again I had been asked to go for
rides with people on two separate occasions and they both died immediately after
they left me.
Was the
kind of experience difficult to express in words?
No
At the
time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?
Yes I had been suicidal many years before, and never succeeded at the few
attempts in the past which were over doses. This last time I attempted to hang
myself in my bedroom closet. Again I was unsuccessful, the wire broke. But this
time I was glad nothing had happened to me again.
At what
time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and
alertness?
During my suicide attempt.
How did
your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare
to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?
More consciousness and alertness than normal
If your
highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was different
from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please explain:
During my suicide attempt.
Did your
vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such
as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of
solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?
No
Did your
hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect,
such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?
No
Did you
experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?
Yes
What
emotions did you feel during the experience?
I was not afraid or happy. May be confused.
Did you
pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?
Yes The
tunnel was filled with jewel toned lights. That were put together like bricks
going down the tunnel. At the end of the tunnel was a black hole. But I never
made it to the end of the hole.
Did you
see a light?
Yes Just the jewel toned lights.
Did you
meet or see any other beings?
No
Did you
experience a review of past events in your life?
No
Did you
observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that
could be verified later?
No
Did you
see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or
dimensions?
No
Did you
have any sense of altered space or time?
Yes It did not feel real.
Did you
have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?
Yes I just knew it was not meant time for me to die. Considering all the
other opportunities I know it wasn't my time or even for a long time from then.
I know now that there is something I was meant to do by the experience's I have
had and continue to go through.
Did you
reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?
No
Did you
become aware of future events?
Yes
I all my dreams come true. I have very strong intuitive feelings
that come to be true. A couple of days ago I was waiting to talk to some one on
the phone and I started drawing tornadoes. I never draw anything other than
flowers symmetrical lines. I drew the exact one that was captured on film, used
by the one of the news media. I once met a kicker who use o play for the Kansas
City Chiefs for a drink and at the end of the night I told him he would be the
deciding factor of the game. It was up to him whether they would win or lose
and it came true the next day. He kicked the ball and missed the field goal.
That was many years ago. I have been having strange occurrences happening to me
lately.
Did you
have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you
did not have prior to the experience?
Yes Yes and no. I saw one something in the afternoon one day while trying
to concentrate on my studies. About a month or so ago. I was having a very
difficult time. It was like I was trying to keep from falling a sleep almost
like a really deep trance. Out of the corner of my left eye I could see a boy.
I could see every detail of him all in gray's. I screamed and jumped and he
vanished. When I was a young girl about kindergarten I saw a dark image of a
man with a hat that was not of the era at that time. He was a very tall man,
unlike my father that was sleeping in the room behind my bedroom. I later
discovered that the house we use to live in was one of the oldest homes in the
town, that's what I was told. The story of the football player, I knew it was
going to happen? Sometimes things fly out of my mouth I don't think about it at
all it just happens. Just like the times I was asked to go places with a couple
of guys I liked and I turned them down immediately. The next thing I knew they
were dead. May be it's accidental? I don't know. May be I am weird? I forgot
about a year ago I was in a Spiritual Church in my mom's hometown. I had never
been to one so I decided to go, and yes alone. They were all very nice people!
At the time I was visiting my mother I was in a very amazing state of mind. All
I could feel was love and peace. When I was down in the basement with the rest
of the people the pastor or whatever you want to call him was smiling at me and
talking to me. At some point my vision started to go bright white and I could
barely see everyone in the room. I had this amazing and overwhelming sense of
love and peace. I have never felt anything like it in my entire life? The
pastor kept talking to me and I was trying to block him out because of this
incredible feeling I was having and seeing. I could barely see that he kept
moving towards me after a while and eventually it went away and he was standing
right next to me and gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek? I don't even know
what he had said to me? I just graciously smiled and nodded as if I had heard
everything he said. My ex-husband use to tell me that the best ideas he would
implement would come from me. He would look at me strange and say I do you know
about business?
Have
you shared this experience with others?
Yes I shared it with a psychic that is well known in my area. A friend of
mine and my mother. They both seem to think I have some abilities. My mother
did astral travel when she was a young girl and her mother dreamed that her
husband was going to die and he did 2-days later. My father was looking for me
when I had run away when I was a teenager. I had left for a couple of weeks
traveling with truck drivers around the country, crazy! He knew where and when
I was coming back. He had driven up to me just as I had only walked a block if
that after getting out of the truck. My aunt when she was in a coma dreamed
that she was running from death the whole time. She told the story everyone was
shocked. I guess she was close to death? My cousin told me once that she saw
herself as a child right there in front of her eyes laughing and playing, I
believe? These are some of the stories I have heard about and from my family
members. My grandfather was a young man when he died and I believe my
grandmother was even younger. I use to sleep walk and talk in my sleep all the
time. I don't know if I do anymore? Since I don't live with anyone any more.
Did you
have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?
No
How did
you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it
happened:
Experience was definitely real I was in a lot of pain and anguish. I was
scared after it happened and realized that I could never do anything like that
again! I was uncertain about the whole thing I experienced. I am still not sure
what it was, hell? I did not like life and would have rather been with god.
But realized that was not were I was meant to be. I knew there was and is
something that I was meant to accomplish.
Were
there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or
significant to you?
I thought the
colored lights were strange? The warmth and sincerity of all the voices telling
me no. I didn't feel good about the black hole but I wasn't really scared?
Uneasy
How do
you currently view the reality of your experience:
Experience was definitely real Not good! Definitely real! I would of rather
have seen white lights. But I have always heard suicides go to hell coming from
the catholic church. But who knows? I tend to lean towards the more spiritual
concepts. Considering the bible is not full of truth anyway. They pick and
choose what they put in it. Because it can be contradictory if they didn't.
Then what would people believe?
Have your
relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?
Yes
I have learned
that you can't fight everything and everyone. Everything has consequences.
(sorry for the spelling) I have learned to love people for who they are, and
not who you want them to be. If they want my advice I will give it.
Acceptance, growth, peace, love, grace, and wisdom are what is important me. Of
course standing for what your truth is and not some one else's. This has been a
gradual experience for me. But definitely was a direct connection from my past.
Have
your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your
experience?
Uncertain
I can't
remember if I started going to different church's with my friends before or
after?
Following the
experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or
substances which reproduced any part of the experience?
No
Is
there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?
no
Did the
questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and
comprehensively describe your experience?
Yes As far
as I know.
