Leeta's NDE

Experience description: 

MY MOTHER AT THE TIME WAS AWAY AT A CAMP WITH HER SPECIAL EDUCATION CLASS. I NEVER STOPPED BLEEDING AFTER A MENSTRUAL CYCLE. THE DOCTOR I HAD (MY MOTHER'S) OBVIOUSLY NEVER KNEW WHAT CAUSED THIS CONDITION BECAUSE HE ASKED ME HAD I HAD SEXUAL RELATIONS? I WAS RAISED CATHOLIC AND IT WOULD HAVE BEEN SINFUL AND NO I DID NOT AT THAT AGE. I HEARD SOMETHING ABOUT WHAT WAS ATTRIBUTED AS POLYPS HOLDING THE UTERUS OPEN. I DON'T KNOW WHERE I HEARD IT-EVERYTHING BUT DEATH SEEMS LIKE A BLUR. TO THIS DAY I BELIEVE I SHOULD HAVE DIED (STAYED DEAD) FOR IT FELT LIKE MY TIME.

I AM PERPLEXED AT TIMES WHEN I HAVE READ ABOUT OTHER NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCES

BECAUSE IT SEEMS THAT I DIDN'T MAKE IT AS FAR AS EVERYONE ELSE SEEMS TO HAVE GONE.

I WAS STEADILY WEAKENING SO FAR AS TO NOT MAKE IT FOUR FEET BEFORE PASSING OUT ON MY WAY TO THE BATHROOM AND THEN BACK TO BED. MY FRIENDS WERE AFRAID AND SOMEHOW CONTACTED MY MOTHER AND BROUGHT HER HOME. THIS WAS THE FOURTH DAY. I WAS COHERENT ENOUGH THAT NIGHT TO ANSWER TO HER THAT I DID NOT WANT TO GO TO HOSPITAL THAT I WAS SURE I WOULD BE ALRIGHT. BOY, THE BODY REALLY KNOWS WHEN IT'S GOING TO DIE. WHAT AN ALARM IT SENDS OUT! AT ONE POINT DURING THE NIGHT AFTER NOT BEING ABLE TO SIT UP, I SAT STRAIGHT UP IN BED AND THAT ALARM RANG, "OH MY GOD! I'M GOING TO DIE".

I FELT ALMOST PEACEFUL AND I DIDN'T WANT TO GET OUT OF BED BUT THAT CATHOLICISM TOOK OVER AND I THOUGHT AND THOUGHT QUICKLY THAT "IF I KNOW I AM GOING TO DIE AND LET MYSELF DIE THAT'S COMMITTING SUICIDE". I CALLED OUT TO MY MOTHER AND LET HER KNOW THAT I'D BETTER GO TO HOSPITAL. HER FRIEND AND SHE LIFTED ME UNDER MY ARMS AND I DID AS BEST I COULD TO CLIMB INTO THE BACK SEAT OF MY MOTHER'S CAR. I DON'T REMEMBER HOW THEY GOT ME ON A STRETCHER AT THE HOSPITAL BUT I DO REMEMBER AND THIS I DO BELIEVE WAS THE LAST I SAW THROUGH MY HUMAN EYES. AS I LAY ON THAT STRETCHER I SAW THE FACE OF A NURSE WHO WAS LOOKING SO CLOSE INTO MINE, A LOOK OF HORROR ON HER FACE AS IF SHE KNEW, AND ALL I FEEL I COULD DO WAS SMILE. I FELT I HAD THE LARGEST SMILE ON MY FACE THAT I HAD EVER SMILED. THERE WAS NOTHING BUT PEACE AND A TOTAL FEELING OF WELL BEING. DEATH AND A TOTAL FEELING OF WELL BEING? A VERY NATURAL STATE BELIEVE OR NOT.

I BEGAN TO SEE AND FEEL IN A VERY DIFFERENT STATE. MY PERSPECTIVE WAS VERY CLOSE TO MY HEAD AS I LAY ON THE BED BUT OUTSIDE AT THE LEVEL OF MY HEAD. I SAW THE DOCTORS POKING ME WITH NEEDLES AND THE THOUGHT RACED ACROSS ME; HOW WONDERFUL TO NOT FEEL ANY PAIN. HOW AMAZING TO BE THIS AWARE AND HAPPY AND TO NOT FEEL ANY PAIN. IT WAS GREAT. THE NEXT I REMEMBER IS BEING UP TOWARD THE CEILING AND LOOKING DOWN, I SAW MY BODY AND THE DOCTORS AND ASSISTANTS HOVERED ALL AROUND ME. THEY WERE LOOKING AT MY BODY VERY CONCERNED AND MOTIONLESS ALMOST AS IF THEY WERE WAITING FOR SOMETHING TO HAPPEN. I WAS VERY AWARE, VERY HAPPY AND EXTREMELY AT PEACE. I LOOKED AT MY BODY IN THAT STATE AND SUDDENLY TRIED TO MAKE MYSELF SPEAK "TELL THEM IT IS TOO LATE." AS I TRIED WHAT WE HUMANS WOULD CALL DESPERATELY BUT YOU COULDN'T FEEL DESPERATION. AS IF YOU COULDN'T FEEL ANY NEGATIVE FEELING. THIS IS WHAT IS SO DIFFICULT TO EXPLAIN. "TELL THEM", I CONTINUED AGAIN ALMOST TRYING TO FORCE THE LIPS OPEN ON COMMAND. THEN CAME THE REALIZATION. "OH YES, I THOUGHT DEAD PEOPLE CAN'T SPEAK".

I THEN LOOKED TO THE DOCTORS TRYING TO GET THEIR ATTENTION " LET HER GO, IT'S TOO LATE-LET HER GO." WHEN I THINK BACK ON THIS I REALIZE THAT THIS WAS COMPLETE SEPARATION FROM THE BODY. AND IT WAS WONDERFUL. NEEDLESS TO SAY I DIDN'T GET ANYONE'S ATTENTION AND FROM THAT MINUTE ON I DON'T REMEMBER A THING.

I DID NOT EXPERIENCE ANY DARK TUNNEL, I DID NOT EXPERIENCE ANY BRIGHT LIGHT, NO RELATIVES, NO LIFE REGRESSION, NO PLUNGE BACK INTO MY BODY, NO SILVER CORD NOR ANYONE TELLING ME THAT IT WAS NOT MY TIME. I CAN'T FIGURE WHY AND THIS IS WHY I WOULD LIKE TO GET THE MEDICAL RECORDS. COULD IT BE THAT THEY SAVED ME THAT FAST"?

FROM SUCH A WONDERFUL EXPERIENCE I AWOKE TO THIS BIG FAT FACE IN MY FACE SCREAMING "DID YOU HAVE SEXUAL RELATIONS WITH A BOY?. YOU WERE IN SHOCK YOU COULD'VE BEEN DEAD!". .IF YOU'VE HAD A NDE YOU CAN IMAGINE THE DEVASTATION. IT WAS LIKE WAKING UP IN HELL BUT I KNOW THERE IS NO SUCH PLACE. AND WHAT WE WOULD THINK OF AS THE ANTITHESIS OF THIS WHOLE EXPERIENCE IS ABSOLUTELY IRONIC.

BUT I DID HAVE MY ANGEL., FOR I FELT SO ALONE AT THIS WELCOME BACK INTO THE WORLD THAT I JUST SCREAMED BACK AT HIM "NO" AT THE HEIGHT OF MY VOICE THAT I HAD FOUND AGAIN. AFTER HE HAD LEFT, I WAS MUCH TOO DESTROYED TO EVEN BE IN TEARS FOR I WAS STILL IN SHOCK, I HEARD THE CURTAIN SWISH SOFTLY ASIDE AND THE MOST BEAUTIFUL PERSON, A WOMAN IN THE NEXT BED SPOKE TO ME. SHE SAID SO SWEETLY, "I WAS ALWAYS AFRAID THAT WHEN I WAS UNDER ANESTHESIA THAT I WOULD CALL HIM A BIG FAT FROG.". THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED AND I HAVEN'T STOPPED LAUGHING YET. I NEVER SAW HER AGAIN. 

Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience:  No

Was the experience difficult to express in words?  Yes

      What was it about the experience that makes it hard to communicate?  I HAVE EXPRESSED THIS EXPERIENCE MAYBE THREE TIMES IN 30 YEARS

At the time of the experience, was there an associated life threatening event?  Yes

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?  TOTALLY AWARE BUT DEAD.

Was the experience dream like in any way?  NO

Did you experience a separation of consciousness from your body?  Yes

Describe your appearance or form apart from your body:  ALREADY EXPLAINED

What emotions did you feel during the experience?  TOTAL PEACE, TOTAL AWARENESS, NO NEGATIVITY WHATSOEVER.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?  Uncertain

      Describe:  I WILL KNOW WHEN I GET THE MEDICAL RECORDS. I HEARD SOMETHING ABOUT POLYPS OR

A THEORY OF POLYPS. 

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?  No

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?  Yes

      Describe:  I FOUND OUT WHEN I AWOKE THAT I HAD LOST THREE DAYS.

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?  Yes

      Describe:  BUT ONLY BY SENSE. I FELT THAT THIS WAS THE NATURAL STATE OF BEING AND WAS VERY EXCITED TO CONTINUE FOR ALL TRUE KNOWLEDGE SEEMED TO STREAM THROUGH YOU AFTER THE REALIZATION OF DEATH. I BECAME WHAT I CAN SAY WAS MY "HIGHER SELF" WHO UNDERSTANDS ALL.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?  No

Did you become aware of future events?  No

Were you involved in or aware of a decision to return to the body?  No

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?  Yes

      Describe:  IF I HAD TENDED TO BE PSYCHIC BEFORE I DO SEE THINGS BUT AT RANDOM. FOR INSTANCE

I WORK FOR AN APARTMENT COMPLEX WITH SIX HISTORIC TOWERS. ONE DAY AS I DROVE TO WORK, I WOULD ALWAYS MAKE A GAME OUT OF A NARROW WINDING DRIVE WHERE I WOULD LOOK UP AND SEE ONE OF THE TOWERS ABOVE THE TALL TREE LINE, I SAW THE TOP CRUMBLE. WE HAVE A VERY SERIOUS PROBLEM RIGHT NOW WITH THAT ONE BUILDING WITH

CRUMBLING BRICK, 5 YEARS AFTER THE SIGHTING. MANY OTHER THINGS BUT AT RANDOM.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   NOT REALLY, IT SEEMS I HAVE ALWAYS HAD A LINK TO MY HIGHER SELF.

Has the experience affected your relationships?  Daily life?  Religious practices etc.?  Career choices?  I HAVE GROWN IN APPRECIATION OF EVERYONE'S RELIGION. BUT MORE TO THE BELIEF THAT YOU CANNOT GO YOUR WHOLE LIFE DOING ILL AND EXPECT TO FORGIVE YOURSELF IN THE END, YOU MUST DO GOOD EVERYDAY FOR YOU WILL BE REWARDED WITH A HIGHER INTELLIGENCE, A HIGHER LIFE, A HIGHER PURPOSE.

Have you shared this experience with others?  Yes

      Describe:  NOT MANY. I'VE TRIED.

What emotions did you experience following your experience?  A MUCH HIGHER THINKING , AN INCREDIBLE APTITUDE OF UNDERSTANDING OTHER PEOPLE'S EMOTIONS AND THOUGHTS AND A FOREMOST ACCEPTANCE AND APPRECIATION OF CULTURAL DIVERSITY. I WAS ALWAYS EMPATHETIC BUT IT IS HARDLY EXPLAINABLE HOW YOU ACTUALLY FEEL OTHER PEOPLES FEELINGS.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?  THE TOTAL PEACE WAS THE BEST, WAKING UP WAS THE WORST

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?  Yes

      Describe:  ENHANCED

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?  No

      Describe:  NO DRUG COULD EVER PRODUCE THIS KIND OF EXPERIENCE

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?  Yes

Please offer any suggestions you have to improve the www.nderf.org questionnaire?  GREAT AND COMPLETE