Lee's NDE

Experience description: 

      My first thought was that I was looking up at the bluest sky and fluffiest white clouds I had ever seen. I was quite content to just lay there and look at their beauty...then I noticed a small bug like object moving across the "sky" and disappearing behind the clouds and then reappearing again...I thought "what a strange airplane" I noticed it had a beautiful white foaming tail behind it. Then my brain registered what it really was...A ship...instantly I had a turning, spinning type body rush that brought the scene into the proper "focus?". I was looking down not up. The bluest sky was really the bluest water and the clouds were really clouds but from the top, not the bottom....I looked more closely...I could see more ships over a huge distance...they were all bug sized...I looked forward instead of down...I was on eye level with the white caps of mountains...(I will not say the most beautiful each time I describe a scene but it was and still is)...I longed to go closer. and to my amazement I moved towards them.

I tried the "want" a little harder...I moved faster!! It came to me in a rush I could move with a "thought" I started darting around like a firefly...rivers, mountains, lakes, oceans flashed into view and out...it was incredible! and then I looked up....the stars were pinpoints of light that I longed to travel to...I just knew that what I was looking for was up there somewhere...I started to pick a spot to "travel" to. but a beautiful tinkling sound stopped me....thinking back now I realize it was the only sound I ever heard "there", their laughter and 1 short sentence (that comes later). the lack of all describable feelings...cold, hot, wet, dry, loud, quiet, etc, I didn't notice till much later. anyway I looked around for the sound...again it came and I noticed the smaller clouds would light up BRIGHT!! when this tinkling sound happened. then I realized it was laughter. I was hearing, short, beautiful, with joy, glad to see you, bursts!!

I could barely start to see their forms coming out as I begged them to come to me....PLEASE come out I begged!! they were pure love and made me glad all over!! I wanted to be with them.....I got the distinct impression that I would know them if only they would come closer....they were moving towards me!! I could not move towards them not matter how hard I tried but we were going to "touch" in a second....then in unison their soft, beautiful voices said "Time to go back now" NO!! I cried out...I want to stay here!!.....again I heard. "Time to go back now"...I felt a loving, gentle, non-physical "push" backwards.....I was "floating/falling" backwards/downwards....the sky was disappearing. 

I was looking into the eyes of a nurse as she was pulling the tube from my throat in the recovery room...I was mad!!...I wanted to go back!!...and did I ever hurt...I was vomiting up the tube and yelling "get the F out of here" Now I wait to return......

Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience:  Uncertain

      Explanation:  I was in a doctor induced coma during entire experience/my body awoke just as I was "returned" from my "journey"

Was the experience difficult to express in words?  Yes

      What was it about the experience that makes it hard to communicate?  the beauty of it/the absence of noise but sounds/the absence of cold or hot but comfort/the absence of body yet substance?/etc, etc,

At the time of the experience, was there an associated life threatening event?  Yes

      Describe:  heart was stopped for over 5 hrs during surgery/then restarted with electric paddles

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?  see 4

Was the experience dream like in any way?  seemed quite real...and still does...

Did you experience a separation of consciousness from your body?  Yes

Describe your appearance or form apart from your body:  no mass of any kind....I seemed to just "be"

What emotions did you feel during the experience?  joy, love, knowledge, sadness when leaving

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?  not unusual but beautiful!! tinkling laughter, soft beautiful voices

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?  Uncertain

      Describe:  I passed a "plateau" of the upper limits?? of the sky/earth??

Did you see a light?  Yes

      Describe:  BRIGHT!! light when other People? were coming to me.

Did you meet or see any other beings?  Yes

      Describe:  hidden behind clouds...I seemed to know them and felt I would have if only they came closer...they radiated love, joy, happiness, acceptance

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?  No

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?  No

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?  Yes

      Describe:  see 4

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?  Yes

      Describe:  travel to the most remote regions was possible with a thought

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?  Uncertain

      Describe:  not at the time but later

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?  Yes

      Describe:  see 4....didn't cross the "plateau" but wanted to..

Did you become aware of future events?  No

Were you involved in or aware of a decision to return to the body?  Yes

      Describe:  didn't want....told "them" I didn't want...but was sent back anyway.....for what?? I still wonder today..

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?  Uncertain

      Describe:  answers to difficult questions or forgotten items seem to come to me from nowhere...they just pop into my head at odd times

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?  Yes

      Describe:  less aggressive, less catholic, more universal type religion...don't believe much in Hell anymore...not afraid of death at all...believe the best is yet to come! stopped buying things, stopped hunting although I don't condemn it, it's just not for me anymore...don't even kill bugs:):):)I fish but only catch and release...but I am not a vegetarian....

Has the experience affected your relationships?  Daily life?  Religious practices etc.?  Career choices?  strained marriage....can't communicate my thoughts or actions...sleep less...work harder and faster towards my goals...attend church much less...but am more religious....give much more of what I have away...

Have you shared this experience with others?  Yes

      Describe:  a couple understood...most look at you like your crazy.....I stopped sharing it a couple of years ago.....

What emotions did you experience following your experience?  see 4

What was the best and worst part of your experience?  the best was the traveling......the worst was having to return

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?  last week a 70 year old man came to me with this story.....said he was visiting a missionary almost 5 years ago late November/early December when a local showed up at the door and said I am out of money. I'm losing my home. my family has no food...I need $450...he was invited in for supper....a little while later another knock at the door and a man standing there said "hi my name is (my name)...and I own (my business) and I'm from (my town) and GOD sent me to give you this (an envelope with money)  This man was in amazement because he is from a nearby town and recognized both my business and town...this person at the door was invited in for supper and left afterwards. the money in the envelope was $450...this man said he was stopping by to thank me...I figured this was some type of scam so I started treating this man badly...asking him if he wasn't ashamed of himself. he was really puzzled I could tell...I explained to him I have never been to that country...and never gave any missionary money...he said it had to have happened because he was there. saw it...had supper with this man...who else from my business could it have been??? then the time frame he was talking came rushing back to me...the visions of mountains...lakes...rivers. jungles...etc...I showed the man my scar...told him to thank GOD and leave me alone. I was not willing to talk about it...(sure not convinced this is not a scam) he started crying and left...I looked him up in the phone book...he is who he says he is...I will be following thru on this soon....I think...it scares me badly....I have been searching for my mission ever since that surgery....has it come to me???

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?  Yes

      Describe:  see 4 and 26 also I stopped taking my anti-body rejection medicine 6 months after surgery...I have an artificial ring in my heart...I am not afraid to die...it has been almost 5 years and I am in very good health....still waiting for my mission...

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?  No

      Describe:  my heart stopped beating 3 days after the surgery but no visions...only 3 or 4 seconds flat line....and 3 months after surgery it had to be stopped and re-shocked with paddles because it was beating so fast...but no visions...

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?  No

      Explain:  nothing in human words can express the feelings, sights, sounds, etc.