Kristin D's NDE

I have written a letter to my family describing my near death experience in detail. I will e-mail it to you. It is in my office at work.

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words?          Uncertain     I am a writer so the experience was easy to put to paper and explain how I became my soul without my body. What is nearly impossible to explain is how I interacted with family members who previously passed. We communicated without words but in the most intense emotional way that cannot be explained with mere words from earth.

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          Yes    At the time I was going through an extreme emotional struggle my father had cancer, and my relationship with my husband was in shambles. I had turned from my career as a nurse and sought refuge from the numbing drug cocaine caused Endocarditis (an extremely dangerous heart infection)

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?  I was in a coma during the entire experience. My husband tells me that they tried everything to wake me he even pinched my toes and fingers so hard that they started to bleed. The doctors and nurses tried for 2 days to stimulate me with pain responses but I never even responded even with a flinch.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?          More consciousness and alertness than normal

If your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please explain:        This is another concept that is very hard to explain. Once I got to the stage where I entered the light there was an all knowing awareness of everything beyond any explanation of earthly senses. Communication was on a different level, I was complete (void from any one emotion), time and space no longer had any meaning.

Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?          Yes    There was extreme clarity and crispness to my vision during the experience. This is interesting because while I was in the coma a piece of the infection broke of from the heart valve permanently blinding me in my left eye. Before the experience I had perfect vision, since the experience I am legally blind in the left eye.

Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?
          Yes    I remember hearing guitar music in the distant back ground. I could also hear my girls giggling. Apparently while I was in the coma a person came to play guitar music for me at my bedside late at night and my sister brought in a radio and played Christian music through headphones to comfort me.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?          Yes

What emotions did you feel during the experience?          Once again this is hard to explain. I was beyond emotion. I was complete. I was whole. A feeling much more that completely satisfied and happy.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?        Yes    I was in three different levels. The first level was a dark, cold, clammy, and very loud vortex that pulled me down leaving me feel very exposed. The second plane was in a field of long green grasses and a brilliant blue sky. In the distance I saw the most brilliant inviting warm yellow-white light. Once I entered that light is where I became separated from my body.

Did you see a light?         Yes    The light was bright but not blazing to hurt your eyes. The light had an energy that drew me near and made me want to enter it above all else. It was obviously a gateway to a place where I felt a strong need to go.

Did you meet or see any other beings?         Yes    I saw my nephew who was my age and died tragically. He stayed with me and expressed an interest in needing to let my sister (his mom) and family know he was safe. I also saw my grandparents, and a cousin who passed away. My grandmother was surprised to see me they had been expecting my father (who was dying of cancer). I was taken to an area and left alone. In this area I received an all knowing gift and was told (not in a verbal way) that this is heaven, it does exist and but I needed to go back and spread the news that heaven does exist and that the teachings of Jesus were real. I was to be a messenger of good faith despite all of the destruction that my drug use had caused. I was reassured that once I completed my destiny to be a messenger that these riches and more awaited me upon my final death. After that communication the next thing I remember was waking from my coma to find my doctor sitting at my bedside late at night. He was on call and tended to my monitors while the ICU nurse took a short break. He was surprised to see that I actually woke up.

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?   Uncertain     I did not have a life review per se however when I was pulled into the vortex of darkness the only way that I got out was to ask for help. I prayed God please help me. At that moment I felt something reaching for me, I took hold and again asked for help. I was pulled up and out of the horrible pit and placed in a serene field of grass and brilliant blue sky where I saw my children and was enticed by the white light.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?         Yes    I remembered hearing a guitar playing in the background. During the night a man came to play guitar for me while I was still in the ICU. The nurse described the man as about 5'7" long brown hair about my age with a mahogany guitar. Although it was past visiting hours the nurse let the man in because my condition was deteriorating in hopes that hearing music would help me. She also said the called himself David. He sang a song by Blind Faith called "Can't Find My Way Home". After he was finished playing the song he wrote the lyrics out on a piece of paper and placed it at my bedside. He signed it DBF. The man that she described fit the description of my nephew who was tragically killed. His name was DBF and he owned a mahogany guitar. Interestingly he was the one who wanted desperately to get a message of well being to my sister and family. In addition, when he died he was recovering from a cocaine addiction. The lyrics to the song (which I still have) read:

"Come down off your throne and leave your body alone. Somebody holds a key. You are the reason I have waited so long. Somebody's got to change. Well I am near the end and I ain't got the time, Lord I am wasted and I cant find my way home."

When I read these lyrics I had never heard the song before and the words perfectly describe what both my nephew and I had experienced with our addictions. The difference was that he had found the key and he was on his way home. I think he was trying to tell me to kick the habit, get over myself, open my eyes and heart and even though at that time I was struggling to find my way home that it was possible to find hope, love and peace if I chose to.

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?          Yes    Level of darkness and nakedness. Level of beautiful field where I had an encounter with my girls and directed them away from the light.  Level of entering an being within the light.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?  Yes    There was no time and no limitations of space. I had no body within the light and felt complete freedom.

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?     Yes    I have always had strong intuition. However, since I had my experience I have an even more heightened intuition. I have a strong sense of what is going to happen next. I am no longer afraid of fears I had in the past. I was not afraid to die. I had a sense of knowing my purpose on earth. I had never really read the Bible but since the experience I can recite scripture and find passages where I can feel a connection.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Uncertain    

Did you become aware of future events?      No         

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?       Yes    Strong intuition of knowing what comes next. I often have dreams that come true and many deja vu experiences.

Have you shared this experience with others?        Yes    Once I came out of the coma my family was very devastated by my whole illness because they knew that it was caused most likely from the drug use. However, when I went into the coma and had my experience I was not high. I told them of my experience and shared the song lyrics written on paper. To my surprise my family believed me and was amazed by the evidence. I still needed to gain my families trust so I do not think that they truly believed all that I was saying about being a messenger for God until nearly a year later when I walked the walk  that I said I would. I was put in jail for about two weeks for a drug violation. I shared my experience with others and had an overwhelming experience, other inmates wanted to read the Bible with me and hear my story. It gave them hope in a hopeless place. In fact once I was out and changing my life for the better I started the HERO project a resource program for education and awareness to Honor our Esteem and Respect Ourselves.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes    I have always heard stories about the light. My cousin who passed away had a near death experience before his final death described a light and meeting family members who were behind a chicken wire in the tunnel leading to the light. I do not think that it influenced what I felt or experienced because his story was only a story mine was an actual experience.

How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:   Experience was definitely real   Being a nurse and reading my chart afterward all indications pointed at imminent death or vegetative state. But I was alive and had an increased ability to clearly think, know and understand. No one could live through that and still come out ahead.

Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or significant to you? Everything. This was a life changing event for me. Interestingly I did have one drug relapse nearly 6 months following the experience but I believe that was because I had become so aware of my surroundings and what was going to happen next that I wanted to suppress the flood of information being processed in my brain. My relapse was short and I found a way to live with my new gifts because my most vivid memory of the experience is that my job was not complete until I spread the message and I might not receive the wonderful reward that is waiting if I do as I was destined.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience:          Experience was definitely real         The reason that I am writing this out tonight is that I had a dream two nights ago that has affected me ever since. It was a dream of the experiences that I had leading up to my experience full of the fear and anxiety that I felt when I was doing the drugs. My dream showed me a different perspective this time. I was a like a fly on the wall watching the doctors and nurses working on me an I could actually see my family crying at my bedside and experienced their pain. The anniversary of my experience is next week and my awareness is usually elevated during these times.

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?          Yes    My husband and I have worked out our relationship and we are harmoniously raising our two beautiful girls. Before my Dad passed away I had the chance to show him that I had changed. I was there when he died and helped guide him on his final journey. I have started speaking out about my experience and offering hope to those feeling hopeless. I have started work again as a medical writer. I have rebuilt relationships that I destroyed during my drug use days.

Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your experience? Uncertain     I now am sure of the teachings of the Bible. I am now convinced of the rewards of heaven. I now know that there are modern day prophets and that the teachings of the Bible transcend all ages.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?          Uncertain     The dream that I had the other night where I experienced my family and the medical surroundings instead of what was going on inside was during normal sleep with no medications. The dreams that I have that come true always occur on full nights of sleep with no medications.         

Did the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes    I believe that by answering these questions that I have given all the deatils to my experience.