Kimberly F's NDE

EXPERIENCE DESCRIPTION:

I was shot on May 8th, 1982 at the age of 12.  I was shot in the right chest at 4 foot range with a 4/10 gauge shotgun. The reason I was shot is because a 17 year old (who was renting a room from the woman who's daughter I was staying the night with) wanted something from this 12 year old I was not prepared to give. When I fought him it angered him and the shooting was a result. When I was shot, I got up and walked out of the house and into the yard to sit down in Miss Jean's car (the friends mother) who was washing it at the time and had a look of shear horror on her face when she saw me. I told her to call my Daddy because Bobby Joe had just shot me. I sat down in the back seat and waited for the ambulance. When the ambulance arrived they rushed me to the next town (the nearest hospital), where they told my Daddy I would never survive life flight because I had lost too much blood. Needless to say, if you knew my Daddy you would understand why, they put me on life flight and flew me to Hermann Hospital in Houston.

I had never once lost consciousness or went into shock, which amazed everyone.  I can still remember everything in perfect detail. As the helicopter landed, I did begin to feel sleepy. They told me NOT to go to sleep and began running with me down the long hallway in the hospital. I remember counting the lights on the ceiling as they whizzed by to stay awake. They said, even though they were running with the gurney, which was soaked through with blood, that there was still a trail of blood on the floor all the way down the hall. They took me into the operating room and began to prepare me for surgery. The last thing I remember was the nurse putting a mask over my face and telling me to count backwards from 10.....the last # I remember was 8. 

I then felt like I was walking backwards with my eyes closed.  Then it felt like I bumped into a wall with my back. I opened my eyes to a very bright (although strangely not blinding), white, misty light that covered everything. Slowly the mist started to move away and I saw myself lying on the operating room table. It looked like I was many, many stories high and looking down on myself.  I saw them working on me and then I noticed I heard (but not with my ears, more like with my spirit) something like singing or voices speaking but I couldn't make out any words. It was all around me. At this point I turned around and that's when I saw "the tunnel".  It was like the inside of a tornado.  It was sucking the light and mist into it at what appeared to be warp speed.  I had a feeling of total peace all throughout this experience. I started toward the tunnel in a motion, not like walking, more like floating.  It seemed like as soon as I entered the tunnel I was on the other side, that quick!  I noticed the same bright light and mistiness of the surroundings. 

I also noticed I wasn't alone.  It seemed there were dozens of "people" standing in a horseshoe type formation of which I was standing in the center of when I exited the tunnel.  I could not recognize anyone because I saw no features, they were more like figures in shadow.  Then I was told "NO" by a voice. Strange thing is that it was neither male or female but it held an enormous amount of authority! Then I (with my stubbornness that I carry to this day) asked it "Why can't I come home?" I was promptly told "You can not come home yet." I continued to try and go forward and it kept telling me "No, not yet, it is not your time."  I then felt compelled to turn and look back at the tunnel.  That was when I was transported back through and out the other side of it.  I looked down and that's when I saw them bringing that paddle machine over to my body.  I saw the doctor grab the paddles, say something to the person standing next to it, they turned some knobs, the Dr. put them on my chest and hit me once with the shock.  I saw my body jump but I felt nothing.  I then saw the Dr. say something to them again, they moved the knobs again and he hit me a second time....nothing.  Then, I saw the Dr. put the paddles together for a moment (as if saying a prayer) and then said something to the person again....the person shook their head in disagreement but went ahead at the Dr's insistence and moved the knobs again. When he hit me the third time I awoke in ICU.

My parents were told by the Dr. that I had died, I was what they call "sheet-faced" and he took a chance by hitting me with the paddles a third time. He admitted to not being a really religious man but he said he felt he was being told not to quit...so he didn't.  I was expected to be in the hospital for at least 2 months but was home in 10 days.  I was called a "miracle child" on TV and in the papers.  I would not trade that experience for anything in the world.  A lot of things have been happening to me since though.  Before that, I was able to see, smell and feel spirits.  I grew up in a haunted house. Since I have had the NDE I seem to have several Psychic gifts as well.  I still have all the abilities with spirits, only stronger now, and I have dreams that come true very often and also, I have VERY strong "gut" feelings that I can decipher as good or bad.  I can also seem to sense other peoples spirits as well.  I think the Bible refers to this as the gift called "Deciphering of Spirits".  I was made to feel like I was "crazy" when I would try to speak to my family about the things that I was feeling at that time and about my NDE so I subdued everything for a lot of years.  I have finally got friends and some family who are now encouraging me to work with my gifts again.  

OK....here goes the dream part of the NDE.  The reason I say "dream part" is because it seems to have taken place between the NDE and me waking up in ICU.   

By this time I was very afraid and confused.  I ran back out to the street.  I looked down the street to the 4-way where there was a street lamp.  At the back of the circle of light from the lamp I saw a figure standing there.  It was HUGE...very tall.  I say "it" because I do not know if it was male or female...all I know is that it was very tall.  I dream in color so I noticed that it was wearing beige or off-white colored robes that were very long and it had shoulder length dark hair.  I remember thinking "Thank God I am not alone !"  I began to run toward the figure but as I approached the front of the circle of light it raised one hand and stopped me.  It said "You are not alone, you never have been and never will be."  I told it that I wanted to go home, that I didn't want to be here.  It said to me again, "Do not be afraid, you are not alone, the Father says you still have much to do and can not return home yet."  As I was objecting, it said again. "Not yet" and began to fade away.  It seemed to have been sucked up by the street lamp.  After it faded away I awoke in ICU.  Can anyone PLEASE shed some light on this for me ?  I have struggled with what this "dream" may mean for the last 22 years to the point of near insanity.  Thank you in advance for any help you can provide !

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes     It was so awesome, so meaningful that it seems there are no words strong enough to truly describe the experience completely.

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          Yes     I was shot by a 17 year old guy who had attempted to rape me.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    It seems as though I was very conscious and alert throughout the entire experience.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?    Normal consciousness and alertness

            It seems as though I was very conscious and alert throughout the entire experience.

Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?  No       I have always been very perceptive, alert and detail oriented.  I have had gifts all my life that were even more magnified by my NDE.

Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?
            Yes     The hearing of the voices and "singing" seemed to be a soul or spirit type of hearing rather than a normal, everyday audible type of hearing.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Yes

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            peace, love, awe.....a strong sense of just wanting to "go home" and not return to my earthly existence.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?          Yes     I turned around and that's when I saw "the tunnel".  It was like the inside of a tornado.  It was sucking the light and mist into it at what appeared to be warp speed.  I had a feeling of total peace all throughout this experience. I started toward the tunnel in a motion, not like walking, more like floating.  It seemed like as soon as I entered the tunnel I was on the other side, that quick !  I noticed the same bright light and mistiness of the surroundings.  I also noticed I wasn't alone.  It seemed there were dozens of "people" standing in a horseshoe type formation of which I was standing in the center of when I exited the tunnel.  I could not recognize anyone because I saw no features, they were more like figures in shadow.

Did you see a light?           Yes     I then felt like I was walking backwards with my eyes closed and then it felt like I bumped into a wall with my back. I opened my eyes to a very bright (although strangely not blinding), white, misty light that covered everything. Slowly the mist started to move away and I saw myself lying on the OR table. It looked like I was many, many stories high and looking down on myself.  I saw them working on me and then I noticed I heard (but not with my ears, more like with my spirit) something like singing or voices speaking but I couldn't make out any words.

Did you meet or see any other beings?           Yes     It seemed there were dozens of "people" standing in a horseshoe type formation of which I was standing in the center of when I exited the tunnel.  I could not recognize anyone because I saw no features, they were more like figures in shadow.

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?    No      

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No      

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?            Uncertain     

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   No      

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?     Uncertain           

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No      

Did you become aware of future events?       Uncertain           

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?     Yes     A lot of things have been happening to me since though.  Before that, I was able to see, smell and feel spirits.  I grew up in a haunted house. Since I have had the NDE I seem to have several Psychic gifts as well.  I still have all the abilities with spirits, only stronger now, and I have dreams that come true very often and also, I have VERY strong "gut" feelings that I can decipher as good or bad.  I can also seem to sense other peoples spirits as well.  I think the Bible refers to this as the gift called "Deciphering of Spirits".  I was made to feel like I was "crazy" when I would try to speak to my family about the things that I was feeling at that time and about my NDE so I subdued everything for a lot of years.  I have finally got friends and some family who are now encouraging me to work with my gifts again.

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     As soon as I put in a private room and was taken off the respirator I began asking the nurses and the Dr. questions about my experience.  They sent the hospital counselor and Chaplin in to speak with me about it.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?    No      

How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:            Experience was definitely real    I knew in my heart and soul that it was real.  I was only 12, and a very naive 12, and had never heard of such a thing before.  I also had many people coming to visit me after I got home.  I, nor my family, did not know the majority of these people.  They would touch me and cry and pray.  They made me feel like a shrine or something sacred and unusual and it began to scare me so my daddy put a stop to the visits.

Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or significant to you?            Yes, the "dream" that followed.  I don't understand when it occurred or what it means.  I have a strong sense that it is very important though and I feel that it was actually more than a dream.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience:            Experience was definitely real            Now that I have studied all I could find on the subject and have read other peoples accounts that were similar to mine, it only strengthens my belief that it was a real and true experience.

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?           Yes     I treasure people and life more than before.  I take nothing or no one for granted.  I let people know how I feel about them every chance I get because I know life can disappear in a blink.  I want those that I love to know it as often as possible.

Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?            No           

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No      

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?        I have been in two auto accidents that were horrible since my NDE.  I walked away from both without a scratch and people say I should never had survived them, that again, I was a miracle.

Did the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?         Yes