Kathy R's NDE

Experience description: 

Account 1: Age 11; Vacation in Kiefer, OK.

Swimming in a friend's pool.. her daughter jumped from the side of the pool after I had just dove in. She lands atop me and is startled. As she was younger than I, she was very scared and just kept pushing me back under the water, her legs were wrapped around my upper chest and then around my neck.

I recall seeing myself back home in Georgia, playing outside with my younger brother, playing in the dirt, making mud-pies, throwing rocks, climbing trees. I saw myself working in the garden with my Mom and Daddy. I saw my (living at that time) grandparents and great-grandparents.  The holidays we had spent together.

It was as though it was an under-water movie of my brief 11 years playing on the inside of the pool. My grandmother (who had passed when I was 9) was saying my name as though she were calling me through a speaker. I could see her face and was reaching out to touch her under the water when my eyes felt so heavy I couldn't keep them open and I was sinking down. I remember feeling the heat of the sun-warmed water start to get colder. My next view was of my mother who had pulled me out of the pool. After being checked by EMT's, I was determined to be okay and allowed to stay at the house we were visiting instead of going to the hospital.

Account 2: Age about 20-21, at home; Ringgold, Ga.

Feeling ill at my stomach while at a neighbors, I decided to make a mad dash for my apartment. About 4 steps from their door, I landed on the concrete sidewalk and began to convulse.

It's during the seizure; I felt no pain, I usually never do during a seizure nor do I realize I'm having one until it's over with when it's grand mals.  This time seemed a bit different.. it was familiar and felt somewhat like I was dreaming of dying and talking to myself in the dream.

I saw complete darkness with a hint of light in the center, as though it were shining through a pin hole. I focused on the light to see what it was when I started to hear music.

Describing the light is simple.. it was bright, an eye burning white light, brighter than I'd ever seen and yet still so small a hint of it.

The music I cannot describe and never have been able to. It was calming, nothing like I've ever heard anywhere before or since but yet it felt familiar to me, like I should know the tune; no voices to the music, it had no real rhythm either, it just existed.

From there I hear my own voice say, "so this is what it's like to die, it's not so bad."

Next, I hear my name being said over and over by a frantic voice begging me to wake up. When I opened my eyes, without even realizing who I was talking to or even where I was I said, "I died.. I just died." It was then I could taste the blood and feel all the pain I was in from a broken jaw and really big lump on my head. I was taken to the Emergency Room and tried to explain to the doctor there what had happened. His opinion was that I just hit my head extremely hard and that was what caused the light.. brain mis-fires. He had no explanation for the music and assigned me to another physician for stitches, x-ray's and so on.

Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?     No

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          Yes

account 2 at age 20-21; great-grandmother had just been diagnosed with liver cancer.

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?           I thought I was alert but those who witnessed both events stated that my eyes were closed and to them, I was barely breathing.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   The second experience was dream-like and familiar to me.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Uncertain

The 2nd account; I was talking to myself as though I was someone else.

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?           yes; voices and music

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?          Uncertain

            Describe:      In the second experience, I was very drawn to the tiny amount of light I could see. It was so small but I felt as though it were trying to pull me towards it, or rather, keep my attention focused only on it. Then I heard the music which distracted me.

Did you see a light?           Yes

In the second experience, I was very drawn to the tiny amount of light I could see. It was so small but I felt as though it were trying to pull me towards it, or rather, keep my attention focused only on it. Then I heard the music which distracted me.

Did you meet or see any other beings?           Yes

First account, age 11: Saw my grandmother who had died when I was 9. She was saying my name over and over, somewhat amplified.

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?    Yes

First account age 11; saw myself doing all the childhood activities I'd done; playing outside with my younger brother, making mud, throwing rocks, climbing trees. Saw myself at family gatherings; holiday events when our whole family was together, parents, grand's and great-grand's, aunt's, uncle's and cousin's.

I learned nothing I hadn't already known in my 11 brief years.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?           No

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes

in both experiences, it was though all time had stopped and felt as if it were going in reverse.

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    No

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes

in the second experience; I felt and feel as though the light was a boundary; a separation point between where I was and where I could go.

Did you become aware of future events?       No

Were you involved in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the body?       No

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         Yes

My gut instincts have improved greatly; example: I can tell when something really bad is going to happen. I wouldn't say that it's a gift, it's just instinct I follow more closely now instead of ignoring it.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   Yes

I am terrified of dying.

How has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices?       I am scared of dying; have panic attacks, and am now on disability due to uncontrollable seizures.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Yes

I'm more paranoid now I think.

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes

Shared with both family and friends. They have been through the same things as I have.

What emotions did you experience following your experience?  scared, nervousness

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      account 1: best; seeing my grandmother.

worst; seeing the fear in my mother's face after she pulled me from the pool.

account 2: best; feeling calm, no pain, no confusion, not being scared to be curious.

worst: broken jaw!

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes