Jonathan B's NDE

Experience description: 

I contracted Strep throat in Marine boot camp in California, at Camp Pendleton, and did not receive medication at that time.  This lead to a case of Rheumatic Fever, which is an immune reaction to Strep throat in certain vulnerable people.  The illness resulted in my eventual discharge, and when I flew home, I had to go to my grandparents, due to my being broke, and my parents refusing to assist me, due to my joining the military without their consent.   

When I arrived, my fever spiked to 105 degrees, and I became unable to move due to arthritic like pain, and had difficulty breathing for three days.  On the third day, during the day, I observed a grey curtain appear in the upper corner of the room.  as this curtain moved from the corner toward me, it obscured all objects behind it, until I could see nothing but the wall of grey.  When it touched my legs, I became aware in some non-audible way that it was the Angel of Death, and it intended to take my life.  When it swept up my body, I did not become numb, but had a sense that I did not exist past the curtain and was becoming shorter and shorter.  When it hit my arms and waist, they also seemed to become stubs.  During the entire event, I could not move, or speak, so I could not call out for help, although my grandparents were in the other room.   

I heard a voice, that I somehow knew was Jesus, who said that if the grey touched my heart that I would cease to exist.  I began to pray earnestly in my mind, and asked Jesus to save me, and I promised to make my time, energy, money and life totally at Jesus' disposal, in exchange for him letting me live long enough to finish my life task, and take care of my sister, who I wanted to verify as being a Christian.    He accepted it. 

At that point, I left my body, and felt myself go into blackness, and shatter like glass, with all my memories, thoughts, feelings, and identity fragment and cease to be, in a manner similar to a movie I saw later that was called "Freejack" in which the hero was being killed. 

At some point, I felt myself reassemble, and go back in my body, and at that point, my fever broke, I no longer had the paralyzing arthritic pain, and I could feel my body and breathe easy.  All signs of illness disappeared, and I eventually contacted my parents, reconciled and move home until I was able to get back on my feet financially. 

After this event, I had several odd changes in my life.  First, I had a series of dreamlike visions, in which I left my body, and saw heaven, hell, and various places in the supernatural realm.  Next, I developed an unusual physical resistance to disease, emotional stress, and physical injury.   

I tended to heal faster from cuts, dislocated joints, falls, blows and car accidents.  I developed a fairly consistent pre-cognitive ability which helped me to avoid a number of car accidents, and pedestrian accidents while riding a bike, and avoiding being hit by a car. 

I survived several accidents with high voltage, from contact with electrical current, including a downed lamp post which had current running through it.  

My moods, which had tended to be dark much of the time, tended to improve, with a joyous or happy mood becoming the most common feeling in my life.  Any black moods tended to be short, and less deep than in the past.   

I experienced several events after the NDE in which I seemed to pray for people and they experienced healing.  I had started attending a church where faith healing was considered the norm in the church and people would lay hands on each other, either individually or in a group. 

My feeling about the Near death experience is that I wished it had not happened, because it was very unpleasant, but I believe the experience gave me some very positive side effects.  I am not comfortable with being more aware of the supernatural, and outside the normal since I think it isolates me from those who have not had similar experiences.  I do not share what I experienced with anyone but my sister, a few close friends, or people who I know I will not meet on the net.   I would not wish my experiences on my worst enemy.   

I no longer fear death, but I do not seek it out, since I am convinced that I have tasks I am to do here, and must live as long as I can.  I received no instructions or great insights or conversations with the dead, during this event, nor did I see a tunnel, circle of light, images of the afterlife, or hell, at the time of the NDE. 

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? No

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          Yes     I had contracted Rheumatic fever, that I did not have the finances to treat, and was in a sick bed for three days, paralyzed by massive arthritic style pain, and difficulty breathing, as well as a consistent 105 degree temperature.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    I was at a high level of consciousness from the beginning of the event, until I left my body, where I felt my body lose consciousness as my identity shattered, and I lost my memories, emotions, and  thoughts. I returned to my body in a different but high level of consciousness ,since the pain and fever were gone.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?    More consciousness and alertness than normal

If your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please explain:            I was aware as I saw the Angel of Death, of every detail in the room, every pain and tactile sensation of my body, as it lost awareness, and of my thoughts and feelings, except where the grey curtain touched me, since I did not seem to exist past the curtain.

Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?  No

Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?            No

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Yes

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Relief that my life was over and the pain was ending, irritation at not being able to finish my life tasks and be able to take care of my younger sister, and a sense of urgency that  I needed to do something to save my life, since I could not move or speak.

Did you meet or see any other beings?           Yes     The Angel of death visually, but without any conversation, but just feelings that I knew who he was, and a conversation with Jesus, in a still small voice, but with no visual or tactile component.

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?    Yes     When I left my body, and felt my memories and past and thoughts and feeling shatter, I saw my past events, as I lost them, and awareness of myself.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?           No

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes     The events of my death, leaving my body, and returned seemed to take a long time, and my conversation with Jesus seemed conversation, in a way, although I sensed this was all occurring very quickly.

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?     Yes     I knew that Jesus was there, that he was talking to me, and the conversation was not touchy feely, but just like two people working to achieve common task. No real emotion involved but just a calm discussion and agreement of what I would do if Jesus allowed me to finish my life tasks.

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?     Yes     Precognitive ability to avoid car accidents or bike accidents most of the time, and sense of threat that could not be seen, before it appeared.  Faith heling in some occasions.  Unnatural ability to recover from emotional and physical injury.  Ability to sense haunted places and supernatural ghostly events.  Ability to make friends with and get along with animals of various types.  Improved ability to move in darkened rooms and outdoors without hitting objects or limbs.

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     To a very limited degree.  I have only shared this with my sister, a couple of close friends, and people I know on the net, who I never except to meet, and do not plan to meet.  I am very closemouthed and hesitant to share what I experienced, since I usually get a bad reaction, and disbelief.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?    Yes            Yes, I had read about near death experiences in books, and was very surprised that my experiences matched none of those described.  No dead relatives. No tunnel of light.  No life review with angelic being.  No vast insight into reality.  No heaven or hell visions at the time.  I was very puzzled.

How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:            Experience was definitely real    I did not doubt my experience at all, but was very troubled by the implications of it, since I had expected the afterlife to be more pleasant, and inspiring.

Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or significant to you?            The fact that I survived the situation at all, was amazing to me, since I went from 3 days of unbearable pain,  high fever, and inability to move or breath easily to health in a matter of minutes.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience:            Experience was definitely real    I had a stable life change, and I still have the abilities I gained after the NDE, and periodically, I have visions as well, so the event changed my life and experiences permanently.

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?           Yes     I was more self centered and focused before the event, and now I see my life as being abut caring for and protecting and serving my family, friends, and people that Jesus sends into my life.  I no longer pursue my personal dreams as the center of my life, but focus on loving and caring for others.

Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?            Yes            I give more and consistently a part of my income to help the poor and destitute by supporting local shelters, as well as the church, and give my time and energy to helping people by my work, and do things to care for my elderly parents, such as buying groceries, doing chores, and running other errands.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?          If you become aware of the supernatural, or develop even minor supernatural abilities,  there is a price, in isolation from people, who either think you are nuts, or who avoid you, since most people are comfortable living in a world where they are descended from monkeys, their lives have no meaning, and they do not have to ever answer for bad actions.