Jim C's NDE

Experience description: 

I was like in a huge void, with spots of light like stars around. Somehow I felt like I was between the Earth and the Moon. I felt this overwhelming presence next to me on my right side, like the Moon, but it was an intelligence. It radiated love, far beyond anything I had dreamed or heard of before, sort of like a father. There was no image. He made me feel sad that I had ended up in that condition, like a scolded child, but in a loving way. I felt other beings nearby, but no shapes or faces. There was an overwhelming sense of peace and contentment all around me, like the Dr. said on the program tonight (2/25/03), it was like being home. The being next to me had me look at myself lying on the hospital bed through this 'tube of light' (now it's a cliché). He asked me if I wanted to return to that body again and it took me a while to decide. He told me I would have to come up with three reasons why I should be allowed to return. This is what opened my eyes on the radio show tonight.

Nobody had ever mentioned having to come up with reasons before. At the time I was realizing how pitiful people's goals were who surrounded themselves with material things and people to adore them. They really didn't know that it won't make any difference. I can remember the first reason I gave had something to do with showing love for my mother. The second reason was I had not truly loved anybody yet (I was only 14). I forgot the third, but I think it had something to do with showing love to fellow human beings. Again, the reason I was allowed to return was I had not learned the love experience. This is the second thing that opened my eyes about the radio show which made the show more than a sensationalist hoax.

Once the third reason was out there was a dazzling flash and I was lying on the bed. At the time I was surrounded by ice packs to keep my body temperature down and I knew there were people nearby tending to me. I reached out to the nurse and told her the person at the end of my bed had a dress just like my mother's, and of course, it was my mother.

Expanded Version Submitted 4/11/03

At the time I wasn't really a child. I was 14, but being 6'3 I was hanging with much older kids. We were drinking beer and hanging around these woods at the end of Lido Beach in Sarasota, Fl. When it was time to leave, about 1AM or so, we all piled into this car except for me and one other who sat on the trunk. I fell off and hit my head on the pavement which knocked me out. The other guy on the trunk thought I was faking, so he lifted me up by the hair and let me drop. This second bash to the head caused a skull fracture and blood started pouring out of my left ear. The other kids thought I was going to die, so they took off in the car and left me there. They drove to my best friends house, woke him up and told him I was dead.

Luckily, a nearby hotel owner had called the police for noisy kids in the woods (us) and the officer arrived just after the kids left (miracle #1). He called an ambulance and they took me to the emergency room where the top neuro surgeon just happened to be for another emergency surgery (miracle #2). They had to shave my head and drill holes in my skull to relieve the pressure on the brain. They called my parents, and told them there was a slim chance I would live and if I did, the chances were I would be a vegetable at best, and most likely suffer from epileptic fits. I am the oldest of eight children, so this was not good news. I was unconscious for the next 8 days. My mother was a nurse when younger so she stayed there the whole time. I remember the doctor telling me all I had to do was sneeze and I would die. I thought he was nuts for packing all that ice around me.   I was in the hospital 7 weeks including an extra week for a staff infection on my back discovered on my first release day.

I rarely tell anyone about what happened during that NDE. It scares the hell out of people. I want to tell them that it's OK to die. I didn't even tell my wife about it until last night after seeing it on the web. One thing I remember, which is really difficult to describe, is that while looking at myself on the table and weighing the option to return, the being I was talking to made it seem that returning to Earth was one of *many* options. I had to admit to him, and myself, that the reason I was in that predicament was my own doing. I had taken an above-average intelligence, good healthy body, and wonderful environment, and thrown it away. Essentially, I got the feeling that God did not have his hand in everything the way we were taught in Church. I felt (understood) that we are pretty much here on our own for the experience. My approach to other living things changed after that. I feel now that every being here has a divine right to exist without having to be subjugated by other people (governments, abusive spouses, etc). People and dogs especially can sense that. You might find the analogy strange, but something like Crocodile Dundee, the power he had over animals and acquaintances. I seem to be able to communicate on a much lower level. I know I have been to a place very few people have been able to return from, and that is because of those two extremely fortunate circumstances labeled miracle 1&2. I have never met another person who has had a NDE. I wonder what kind of electricity would flow. I think about all the otherwise healthy people who were not plucked from grip of death. Some parts of the movie Jacob's Ladder scared the hell out of me.

All in all though, I don't dwell on how lucky I am to be here. I do, however, think about people barreling through life foolishly and not appreciating its gift. John Lennon had the right idea and so did Duane Allman. That's my big question in life. Why do the people who preach love and peace die so soon?

Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?     No

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes

At the time I still had to recover from severe head trauma and a prolonged stay in the hospital. I didn't really think about the experience until about a year later, but then (1967) nobody had really published or spoken about such things. I thought of it more as a personal experience between me and God. I didn't talk about it with my priest because what I experienced didn't seem to have anything in common with what we were taught at church.

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          Yes

already explained above

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?           I seemed perfectly conscious at the time.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   No.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Yes

I knew I was apart because I could see myself lying on the table. I felt like my appearance was just round light.

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?           No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?          No

            Describe:      I went from looking at myself lying on the table to looking out my eyes with a tremendous shock of cold.

Did you see a light?           Yes, Already described

Did you meet or see any other beings?           Yes, I saw light forms that I understood to be souls.

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?    Uncertain

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?           Yes

I felt like I was in space, near the moon.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes, It felt like there was no time, just existence.

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    Yes

I learned that we are put here to experience loving other people. Everything else is irrelevant. Not meant in a nasty way, but it felt like we are pools of like and are given the gift of a human body to love another being.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No

Did you become aware of future events?       No

Were you involved in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the body?       Yes

He asked me if I wanted to return to that body again and it took me a while to decide. He told me I would have to come up with three reasons why I should be allowed to return. At the time I was realizing how pitiful people's goals were who surrounded themselves with material things and people to adore them. They really didn't know that it won't make any difference. I can remember the first reason I gave had something to do with showing love for my mother. The second reason was I had not truly loved anybody yet (I was only 14). I forgot the third, but I think it had something to do with showing love to fellow human beings

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         Uncertain

I seem to be able to look in people's eyes and tell if they are BS'ing me.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   Yes, already explained

How has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices?       I am very tolerant of other people.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Yes, answered above

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes, They didn't believe me when I told them about the choices part.

What emotions did you experience following your experience?  Happy

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      Best part is knowing there is a place like heaven. The worst part was getting nearly killed to find it out.

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?        I don't think people who haven't had an nde can fathom the immensity of love that is out there. I had a realization at the time that even though the being next to me was PROBABLY God, He had no control over what we did down here. It was like if we don't follow the lessons of love and understanding to fellow humans and decide to dominate and kill others HE won't be able to stop us. Likewise, trying blame Him for natural disasters was pointless.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No, I tried psychedelics after that and there is nothing even remotely close.

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes

Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.    It seems there is a possibility of people making things up. I feel like I've betrayed a trust somehow with some of this info.