Jill C NDE

EXPERIENCE DESCRIPTION:

I had been taken to an ambulance after struggling to breathe for quite a while - it was getting impossible to breathe and I knew I was dying - I expected everything to go black but suddenly, (and this apparently happened after I had stopped breathing) I was in a place of incredible light - not the sort of light we are used to - wonderful patterns and golden lights enveloped me, and at the same time I was enveloped in the most incredible knowledge of unconditional, benevolent love, which was sentient.  Then things did go black and I woke up in hospital, after being on a ventilator for two days.

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Uncertain      The nature of the feelings evoked are difficult to express

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          No      

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    In real time, I don't know - but just after I had stopped breathing I think.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?    More consciousness and alertness than normal

If your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please explain:            In real time, I don't know - but just after I had stopped breathing I think.

Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?  Uncertain      I didn't have normal vision - being clinically dead, I was aware that what I was 'seeing' was not using my normal vision.

Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?
            Uncertain      I was not aware of any particular sound.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Yes

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Incredible awe and gratitude that I could be loved so universally and unconditionally - that such benevolence was possible.  Makes me think of the George Herbert poem 'Love bade me enter...'

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?          Uncertain      I seemed to be enclosed in this scintillating light - uncertain whether or not it could be described as tunnel like.

Did you see a light?           Yes     As previously described, it was an intense, golden patterned or scintillating light.

Did you meet or see any other beings?           Uncertain      The love that was being showered on me seemed to come from an intelligence or being - Nothing or no one I could know or name.  Divine?

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?    No      

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No       I had a brief awareness once I was at the hospital of my pajamas being cut from me, which I discovered had happened.

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?            Uncertain      The light and presence could be described as another level or dimension.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes     I seemed aware that my experience was out of out time and place.

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?     Uncertain            I came to know that this love was being given universally all the time to us.  And that it was so all encompassing as to be probably beyond our ability to comprehend or believe it.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Uncertain      I wanted to stay in the place where I was being given this experience but then had the awareness that I had to 'return' from it for the time being.

Did you become aware of future events?       No           

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?     Uncertain      Most times, if you could call it a special gift, I have a different understanding of what happens when our body dies.

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     I shared it with a few people close to me a few days after I was out of intensive care and able to do so.  I have had differing reactions - some people think it was brain activity, some have been very comforted or encouraged by my experience.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?    Yes     I had read some NDEs previously, but was only aware that I had not come across one at that time that was very similar to mine.

How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:            Experience was definitely real    I have never had any reason to doubt that it was real - I don't believe my brain is able to conjure such a feeling.

Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or significant to you?    I understood that there was a 'universal intelligence' or God or something(!) that was, one could say, Love itself.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience:            Experience was definitely real    My view of the experience has never changed.  It was real.

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?           Yes     I try to be, and hope I am, more loving myself as a human being.  I have confidence that 'death is not the end'

Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?            Yes     I take my meditation and practice more seriously.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No      

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?        I have read of some religious and some psychedelic experiences which seemed very