Jessica G NDE

EXPERIENCE DESCRIPTION:

This incident occurred at the end of a long period of abuse - about 3 years. My abuser isolated me while I was swimming in a pond behind his house.   After a brief argument with the man, as I was trying to swim away from him, he pushed me under water by my shoulders and held me there.  I struggled against his hands on my shoulders, but was not able to come to the surface.  When I was almost out of air, I looked up through the water at the face of my attacker.  His expression was very frightening to me because he was smiling, but also appeared to be very angry.

The perspective of my memory at that point changed from looking up at him to looking down at the top and back of his head and myself from above.  I saw my body floating limply under water with my eyes open. At the same time the visual perspective of my memory changed, I remember the pain in my lungs, my feelings of panic and the urge to breathe stopped as well.  I felt peaceful clarity.  I was aware of the circumstances and knew I was dying.  My face looked peaceful and oddly pretty. I was aware I had a choice and was happy to move on to the light behind me.  The light looked like a very bright full moon.  I felt a strange tug as I moved away from my body toward the light. It felt like an involuntary gasp.  Then, I realized my little sister needed me so I had to come back.  I came back into my body and it hurt.  All the feelings of panic were gone, but my chest was burning.  I knew from looking at the scene from above, that he was just pushing me under, not holding onto me. 

I swam/sunk downward and backwards away from him on my back.  He couldn't see through the water because it was very muddy and murky at the bottom.  I came up under a floating dock in the middle of the pond and hid there until he left.

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? No      

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          Yes     I was being held under water by someone who intended to either scare me or kill me.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    When I had decided to, but before I had re-entered my body.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?    More consciousness and alertness than normal

If your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please explain:            When I had decided to, but before I had re-entered my body.

Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?  Yes     The surface of the water glinted in the sun in a starburst effect and the appearance of my body was in a haze of the pond water.  It was surreal.

Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?
            Uncertain      I don't remember any sounds except for my attacker breathing heavily and the water slapping against his body.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Yes

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Peace, absolute clarity and an absence of pain

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?          No      

Did you see a light?           Yes    

Did you meet or see any other beings?           No      

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?    Uncertain      I understood a much broader picture while I was not in my body. It didn't flood back to me in a visual life passing before my eyes.  I went from ignorance instantly to wide awareness - not just of my life circumstances, but also of emotions, my family circumstances, a sense of purpose that I didn't have before.  There was no sense of time, just calm sense of knowing what was and also what I needed to do.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          Yes     My sister was also being abused.  I don't think I was aware of this before the incident.  My mom was very sick and in the hospital close to death.  Somehow, I knew she was going to recover.

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?            Yes     The place surrounding the light was very comfortable and is not comparable to anything I have felt or seen since.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes     Time stopped and I felt like I was floating with no gravity.

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?     Yes            Yes.  I understood my purpose on a different level. The string theory was a no-brainer for me.  Somehow, I realized that we are all energy and that solid mass was an illusion

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Uncertain      There was an odd tug as I was moving toward the light.  I felt like I could easily have pushed past it, but decided not to.

Did you become aware of future events?       Yes
            I knew my mom was not going to die from her illness.

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?     Yes     I can pass easily into this area by choice and sometimes wake up after sleeping with memories of being there, flying effortlessly.

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     I started sharing the near drowning experience with my psychologist at age 21.  In the last few months, I have been processing the experience with emergency doctor and have been able to describe the experience in more detail.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?    No      

How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:            Experience was definitely real    I knew the experience was real.  Soon after that experience, I began researching near death, out of body experiences, channeling and other forms of spirituality.  I even did a report in high school where I interviewed a couple of psychics.

Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or significant to you?            The experience changed my life.  It ended the abuse and gave me a huge amount of empathy.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience:            Experience was definitely real    I view this experience as my life energy moving between planes of consciousness under duress.  I view it along the lines of the law of conservation of energy.  It states that the total amount of energy in an isolated system remains constant. A consequence of this law is that energy cannot be created or destroyed. The only thing that can happen with energy in an isolated system is that it can change form, that is to say for instance kinetic energy can become thermal energy. Because energy is associated with mass in the Einstein's theory of relativity, the conservation of energy also implies the conservation of mass in isolated systems (that is, the mass of a system cannot change, so long as energy is not permitted to enter or leave the system). Our psychic energy, soul what have you is just another form of energy.

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?           Yes     My sister and I have a special connection now.

Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?            Yes     I believe in spiritual energy now.  I had no religious or spiritual beliefs before.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No                  

Did the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?         Yes