Jaime G's NDE

Experience description: 

I was feeling ill.  I could not even swallow a typical tonsillitis infection.  I had a fever of 100+ I have always been plagued with tonsil problems. Anyway I thought I would just get some penicillin or a shot and be sent my way; but after the blood tests the doctor on duty said that she would rather have me stay over for observation; I was in pain all night; so the next day after being on rocephin an antibiotic.  and it was not clearing the swelling up she decided that I needed to have a tracheotomy and that I would have to have surgery; I was worried; I had a funny feeling that I was going to die.  I was nervous.  They told me everything would be fine; I remember that the following 4 weeks, I kept seeing the 14:14 on my clock which was weird it happened various times I would be at work and I would look up and what would you know!?!? It was 1414 or 2:14pm anyway.  back to the story.  Now all I remember was being anesthetized. 

The next thing I know, I am still on my back at first it seemed like there was nothingness like I was on my back a float and it was pitch dark; a very scary darkness I remember I kept putting my hands in front of my face; I could not see them or my body but  I knew that they were there; then I start hearing this lo hummmm and it was like being under water like when you are under and you can hear noise and its muffled. That kind of thing; anyway I was wondering why it was so dark. Nothing else mattered I could not remember anything prior to this. not the surgery anything it was like this was the only thing I could think of.

I then noticed that while it was pitch dark.  it felt as if I was in a tunnel and all along the tunnel were doorways but the whole tunnel I could sense was like being in a cave sort of rocky not too rocky but kind of smooth at least that's my impression of it; so then I am feeling a little more afraid, like what's going on here? It felt like I was like that for an hour.  just there then.  I could see a pin point of white light in front of me in the distance the size of a pencil eraser head that size. So.  I sense that I start moving in that direction; but id felt like something was pulling me there I don't feel as if I was doing it. At this point I was like floating to and upright position. Then going slowly towards that pinpoint of light; and then I knew that there was little doorways all along this tunnel and I felt that I had if I wanted to go into any of those doorways.  and I felt at the time that if I did I would not come back but my attention was on the light. 

In an instant, I thought  "grandma". And I was instantly in the light. I kept saying "your not dead.  I am not dead, you're not dead".  She said, "No I am not and you are not either."  My grandmother had died 3 yrs prior but at that moment I could not remember that just that she was not dead and that she was so alive and well she had died of dementia complications.  She invited me to sit and have coffee like we used to all the time at her house. Her table was there the chairs she looked like she did when she was in her 30s.  She had on a purple dress like a nice one she had with flowers on it.  except that the flowers seemed to glow a florescent yellow.  Then I noticed that there was a florescent light that emanated from the top of the room and I started feeling so good like.  I can't describe it.  love.  or like the first time you kiss.  electricity.  butterflies in your stomach, like the best drug.  I don't know how to describe it felt so good.  I then kind of got a little panicky cause I noticed that there was no light source; it was just there.  That's when she touched my hand that I noticed that I looked down and could see my hand also.  It was there but it looked white almost florescent and she told me that it was all right (all this conversation was in Spanish by the way) and said lets drink the coffee. 

I did.  But I notice that it was not hot and had no taste. It was lukewarm; but yet there was steam coming from it like it was hot, but was not. It's like when you are sick and there's no taste; anyway.  I tell her that we<family> think of her every day.  She stated that she knew.  She knew that we loved her very much and she loved us; and then I noticed that the room was dome like.  that in one section the left side of that domed room was like a curtain and I saw my grandfather on my moms side peek though. and I seen another lady heavy-set short with a long black ponytail.  I wanted to say something and that is when my grandmother told me "you have to go you can't stay here; its not your time; " I then felt terrible I started to cry.  I told her, "But grandma, I want to stay here."  It felt so wonderful I did not want to leave.  I remember begging in Spanish, "Please I want to stay with you, I never want to leave here."  She said, "you will be back here when it's your time don't worry."  Then she said "tell everyone I love them and think of them all the time."  At this point I was still saying "but but I wanna stay" and then I heard this loud pop".  It felt like I was hit in the chest with a sledge hammer made of fire; I remember coming to and gagging. 

I was on life support; all the tubes etc; I felt terrible; I noticed my dad was there and the rest of the family;.  I don't remember what happened next but I do remember telling him that I needed a paper I had to write something, "I seen grandma."  I passed out again but wrote in Spanish this account that I just wrote about here. My dad has the note somewhere.  I was getting worse. They had to life-flight me to Modesto.  I was in the I.C.U. for two weeks. It was all a blur for me.  I was in and out for the most part of the two weeks till the last couple of days. 

I also remember when I came to when they life-flighted me to Modesto and I was in the ICU.  I could hear a choir but it sounded so angelic is the only way to describe it.  I could not talk I had to write everything down. I asked the nurse, if someone had choir music on? She replied, "No! it's not allowed in ICU i.e. radios etc.  I also told her that there was other people here.  I felt as if family was there.  She said no one had come in yet, but that they were on their way from los banos.  It was very strange indeed. 

All in all I was lucky to be alive, let alone functioning.  They said that I might not ever speak again or have brain damage cause I was out for almost 5 min while they struggled to bring me back on the table. Anyway that's the gist of my story but I have paperwork medical records to prove what was so strange I coded at 2:14 pm!  The same time I was seeing weeks before, how weird is that?  I asked the nurses about this I told them what I saw and they said that it was probably due to the drugs an trauma that occurred.  I don't know. I believe it was real.  Usually when people have surgery, they just wake up in the recovery room and don't see dead relatives. Anyway that's my story.

I had another experience there in the Modesto ICU when they took me to extract some teeth that were causing some of the problems.  They put me under again for surgery and to put a smaller tube in.  I remember saying "hey.  I'm not out yet!!! the doctor could not hear I was yelling!! I could see him come to do the extracting.  Then I noticed that I was in the corner of ceiling looking down on it; and I was like wow! I can go through these walls. I wanted to go to the waiting room, then at that moment I awoke in the recovery room.  I think this was more of an OBE. But later I saw some shadows - black ones, but the nurse said that it was due to the medication.

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? No      

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          Yes     while they<operating staff> tried to put in a tracheotomy tube.  they popped and abscess that was near my molars and that and the fact that the tube got clogged made me go code blue. According to them, I was out for about 4-5 minutes as they paddled me to bring me back twice I believe.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Once sitting with my grandmother at her table drinking coffee.  We talked telepathically I did not see her lips move although she was smiling. 

If your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please explain:            I could not perceive time. I could not think of nothing else except the here and now aspect of it

Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?  Yes     everything seemed brighter I could see the colors that I saw more vividly; every detail was more pronounced.

Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?
            Yes     at first it was if I was underwater, and I could hear a low humming a vibration. Then once I was where my grandmother was I was not hearing anything but just telepathically I would say and it was clear.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Uncertain

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            at first it was kind of frightening due to the darkness then later one in the room with my grandmother in that light.  I felt wonderful there was no pain, only happiness; I did feel great sadness once I knew that I could not stay.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?          Yes     It was a tunnel but it was pitch dark. I feel that it was underground. There was a humidness to it.  The surfaces I feel where rough, like being in an underground cave or something to that effect.

Did you see a light?           Yes     after being in the darkness in the tunnel I saw a pinpoint of light far in the distance probably like about a football field length away.  it was small then it started getting bigger as I was pulled towards it; but it all happened in seconds.  like I saw it; then felt like my grandmother was there and then I was in it.

Did you meet or see any other beings?           No      

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?    Uncertain      but I felt like its all about free will

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes     time was definitely off.  It felt as if I was there for 8hrs, but was actually out for 4-5 min

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?     No      

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Uncertain      if you consider that room where my grandmother was, then "yes" it was a sort of boundary. I saw my grandfather and other who I took to be my family members that have passed, in back of a gray curtain. It was happening all at once so I feel as if there were other rooms like my grandmothers dome-shaped and I feel as if they are connected somehow.  I feel if I had more time there, I could explore more.

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?     Uncertain      I'm not sure but I did see lots of black shadows; felt things after for about 4 weeks later.  and I  am not scared anymore of death; but I do feel that I might be more intuitive now.  I feel things more; i.e. like if I walk into certain buildings I can feel a heaviness I am sure there are spirits there sounds crazy but I even bought a digital recorder and have been recording and have results to prove it.

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     I shared it right away. They accepted it especially when I wrote that letter when I was in the recovery ICU.  I don't remember writing it and especially not in Spanish I generally don't write in Spanish and my dad said that it was exactly like my grandmother would write.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?    Yes     I had heard of it before but it was all like a tunnel of white light and stuff a couple of stories of that years ago but never really thought of it or believed in it till this happened to me. I am defiantly a believer now.

How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:            Experience was probably real    at first I thought it had to be a dream but then a few days later thinking of it and much soul searching I knew that it was very real I tried to deny it at first put it off as a dream but it was so very real I could not.

Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or significant to you?            seeing my grandmother and knowing that she is not dead and that we don't die.  it was like as if I always knew it but was in shock I kept saying yelling "really, I'm not dead, you're not dead, I'm not dead." My grandmother had to calm me. 

How do you currently view the reality of your experience:            Experience was definitely real    I feel deep down in my soul that it was real this really happens every day to lots of people its just not talked about.

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?           Yes     I am definitely more loving and I love life now more than ever.

Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?            Yes            I don't hold onto the western belief system anymore although I respect peoples opinion to it.  I just don't see it as heaven and hell with a devil and a god.  but more of energy forces.  I still do believe in both. Sounds weird huh?  I now don't believe that Moses and the saints waiting for you. I'm a nicer person now before I was not so nice I hated life to an extent; I'm so happy to be alive and am happy to know that we don't really die.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No       not yet but if you know of one drug or whatever can make me get there and have that feeling please tell me!!! loll.

Did the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?         Yes     the way the questions are posed, help with the information to come out and put it out there but at the same time its still hard to describe bottom line is that it was a wonderful experience.