Irene L's NDE

EXPERIENCE DESCRIPTION:

          I'm in a "tunnel" that's ox-blood  red, it's narrow or sort of  "close", I kind of float ahead through windings and curves, but I never hit anything, it feels warm, peaceful and pleasant and it's just like "everything runs smoothly". There's someone there with me, I presence I can only feel. Suddenly I know and understand everything, I know what everything is like, and I know I'm in the realm of death. The "journey" continues and I'm a small child and my "current" self all at the same time. I just AM, it's impossible to describe. We get to this enormous light and I feel that my companion gets there before me, and I just know it's a boy my age: 17 years. We are greeted by a "being" that is light, it's like a glow coming from it, I don't know if it's a she or a he. But it radiates so much love and safety it's indescribable. The boy "disappears" into the light, but for some reason I'm not allowed to come along... I so much want to come too, it's so wonderfully comfortable, I feel so absolutely great... I stay by the light being, I can't get past it, I'm told it's not my time yet. Then everything goes black.

When I wake up later I feel such an enormous sense of loss and disappointment because I couldn't go too, I'm almost angry about it. I'm aware that for a while I "knew everything", but can't get hold of that knowledge again in my "waking" state.  

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes     It's hard to describe feelings that are so strong and the "knowledge" that all of a sudden you KNOW EVERYTHING.

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          Uncertain      My body stopped take in/receive oxygen

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?            I don't know because I had a feeling of being alert all the time.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?    More consciousness and alertness than normal

If your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please explain:            I knew almost from the beginning what it was all about, I knew that I died, I knew everything... 

Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?  Uncertain      I "saw" details extremely clearly

Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?
            Uncertain      Don't know if I heard or "thought" what I heard

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Uncertain

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            At first wonder, then an instant realization that this was death, then curiosity and an enormous "feeling of love" ( I felt I was endlessly loved) 

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?          Yes     Yes, through an ox-blood red soft winding tunnel (or tube)

Did you see a light?           Yes     a huge white light, but it did hurt the eyes like sunlight

Did you meet or see any other beings?           Yes    Someone was there with me but we didn't communicate. I (we) met a being that in some way "told" me it wasn't my time yet.

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?    Uncertain      Maybe, I was both a child and an adult at the same time. I suppose I learned to take one day at a time.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No      

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?            Uncertain      I was in the air, like in an arcade, and all around me there were different floors where people were sitting and writing. (Later I've seen a picture of a news paper editorial office, which seems to be exactly what I saw).  

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   No       No, I was in all time

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?     Uncertain            Then I had the feeling of knowing and understanding everything

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes     I came to a boundary. I couldn't get past the light being into the light.

There were more people "in there", old and young, some of them were sent back but as "new people".

Did you become aware of future events?       Uncertain           

I saw something that I later came by in my profession several years later.

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?     Uncertain      I frequently dream about funerals and the person that's dead in my dream is very much alive, and after nine days I get the message that someone has died. It's never the person I've dreamt about, but I've found that I feel the same emotional closeness to the person in the dream that I feel to the person who dies in real life, but I don't know who it is in the dream. So I can't say WHO is going to die.

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     As soon as I could after my "journey" I told my parents about it. They listened carefully, but I don't know if it affected them in any way. They were mostly happy that I was back.

It took about twenty years before I spoke about my "death dreams". It was then that I started writing them down and came up with this about the emotional closeness. The person I told listened calmly and asked some questions and helped me "see" the connection.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?    No      

How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:            Experience was definitely real    It was just REAL, it happened, it wasn't a dream 

Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or significant to you?    I'm not afraid of dying anymore, I almost want to, I don't want to hurry it along, but I think I'll welcome it when it's time. I long for this enormous love I experienced.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience:            Experience was definitely real            The experience was real, it's like it happened just now.

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?           Yes     I take the day as it comes, I can't worry about what might happen like other people, which some think is indifference and lack of interest, but myself I feel I've become a realist, things (including feelings) are as they are and as they will be. Sometimes I just know how something is going to be, not in detail, but if it will be good or not. I don't cry at funerals for instance, but feel (this really sounds morbid) a happiness of sorts for the dead persons sake who is now allowed to go into the light.

Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?            Yes            I think I'm a bit more humble when it comes to other peoples beliefs.  

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No      

Did the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?         Uncertain      I think so, it's a bit hard to describe when you don't have the words for some of the emotions in the experience, I think you have to experience it yourself to understand.

Are there any other questions we could ask to help you communicate your experience?   It's not easy to suggest something and it's not easy to describe the experience when you only have the written word to your disposal.