Howardena P's NDE

A car accident. A woman ( an x-nun) was on back medication and drove against her light crossing the medium strip into oncoming traffic and hit us obliquely on he drivers side I had a head injury, a neck injury and hip. back injury resulting in one leg being higher than the other. I was in the back seat of a VW bug turned side ways trying to sleep. My department head was  driving and there was someone else in the front seat where I usually would ride. No one died, but the others were injured. I was in the hospital for 2 weeks. I was unconscious according to the others and  became conscious lying on a stretcher in the ambulance Before it happened I heard a female voice or voices in my head that said... " It is almost time."... and I remember putting my head down to sleep. I  had not heard voices before this ( except maybe once I heard someone call my name years before that. After I arrived at emergency, I could not sit up, I had a dent in my head (a concussion) and I could not read a newspaper or a watch. I could not figure out what the symbols meant. I could read again a watch after about 3 or 4 days.

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes     It was hard to believe by others as I saw  myself or felt I was walking around outside of the car, but also experienced being  highly conscious in a dark void, but I was not afraid. Although it was dark, I felt I could see. There was no up, down or sideways... no sense of direction. I was alone, Apparently the Buddhists call this Bardo.

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          Yes     A car accident. A woman ( an x-nun) was on back medication and drove against her light crossing the medium strip into oncoming traffic and hit us obliquely on he drivers side I had a head injury, a neck injury and hip. back injury resulting in one leg being higher than the other. I was in the back seat of a VW bug turned side ways trying to sleep.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    I was falling asleep just before the other car hit so had a concussion. I was alert during the experience but alert in the other space. I have no memory of the accident or aftermath and only woke to full consciousness in the ambulance lying down on the stretcher. I was aware of pain when I woke up. My head was the source of the pain.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?    More consciousness and alertness than normal

If your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please explain:            I was falling asleep just before the other car hit so had a concussion. I was alert during the experience but alert in the other space. I have no memory of the accident or aftermath and only woke to full consciousness in the ambulance lying down on the stretcher. I was aware of pain when I woke up. My head was the source of the pain.

Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?  No      

Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?
            No       There was no sound in the darkness... but when I experienced being outside of the car I believe I heard myself say "what happened.... was there an accident or just what happened?

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Yes

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            No fear. Alert and curious.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?          No      

Did you see a light?           Yes     I saw light when I experienced being outside of the car and darkness, pitch black darkness in the void.

Did you meet or see any other beings?           No      

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?    No      

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No      

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?           Yes            Bardo or a void. I was told later that Bardo is a Buddhist form of purgatory where suicides go . I was not and never was an attempted suicide. I was just a passenger in the back seat of a car.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes     A void where there was no sense of direction and no  sense of time.

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?     No      

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No      

Did you become aware of future events?       No
           

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?     Yes     I started to feel I could hear things, but it was like listening to a radio  hearing someone else's conversation. I also became more emotional and annoyed at things.  I was more jumpy and unnerved, Had nightmares where I would wake up and would be unable to move for what felt like a long time. I had trouble walking and used a cane and had trouble keeping my balance under fluorescent light. It hurt or was very uncomfortable to walk under florescent light.

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     I don't remember clearly as a result of the accident I had memory problems because  of the head injury. People just listened I guess , but did nit react.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?    Yes     I had had surgery in 1975 and had had an experience under anesthesia that I was under a tree sitting with a figure of light  who was standing and wore a white or light robe that covered its head, but I could not see its face and could not tell if it was a man or a woman. He/she was very tall and I was " reviewing another life as a house wife in Australia as if I was living this life at the same time. It was very strange the concept of living two lives at the same time. The scene was well lit. I was having breast surgery for possible cancer, but it was not cancer, but a large lump the size of a golf ball or baseball. I was very afraid of the surgery and terrified of the anesthesia.

How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:            Experience was probably real    I did not thing much about it as I had very strong vertigo as the engry was near my ear. It was very hard to walk. I had motor skill problems, memory problems and pain.

Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or significant to you?    I am very scared to died as Bardo... a dark space is not where I want to end up. I am very fearful now of being among the 5% who have hellish NDE's.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience:            Experience was definitely real            After knowing more from reading, etc... I am aware that I had a NDE, but I have never heard of one like mine. I am still confused about the part where I was  around the car afterwards... while in reality I was unconscious. I was also trapped in the car and a policeman had to pry me out. I was totally unaware of this.

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?           No      

Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?            Yes            I  am constantly torn about the question is there a god or is there not a god and also what religions are closest to the truth. I am sort  of now more like an atheist believing in ethical behavior.  But I am not more psychic and this seemed to happed with menopause.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No       I have has an anti depressant for years which seemed to open me up to more  psychic experiences. I am in the process of going off of it. IT is called desipremine/ norapriam... something like that. It has not made me re-experience BARDO.

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?        I suffered a lot afterwards from the after effects of the injuries. It was one of the hardest periods of my life in that I had just started a new  teaching job. I feel that I did not stay out long enough to heal properly as I was afraid about my job.

Did the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?         Yes     Yes... the accident was far reaching and has effected my for the rest of my life. I am weaker as a result and have arthritis from the injuries in my joints. I now use a cane.