Holly V NDE

EXPERIENCE DESCRIPTION:

I was in the hospital for a miscarriage, had a D N C, and had an allergic reaction to morphine.  Was in intensive care for about a week.

That night, I knew I was running a high fever.  I actually felt worse than I had the week prior. 

I remember turning toward the night stand and picking up the thermometer, and taking my own temperature. I don't remember if I could even read it, I just remember thinking this is "Really Bad". I turned to replace it on the stand and to page for a nurse... I never made it, just slipped away...

No time seemed to lapse.

I found myself sitting {which I thought was odd as felt I should be standing} in a sort of passage ... I called it an elevator shaft, but really was more like a curved, fast moving tunnel = more like a subway than a shaft.  But it was not very wide and I was comfortable sitting in it. There were no seats, but one could just seeming sit in suspension.

The tunnel was surrounded by darkness which was not surprising for some reason, and the darkness appeared to be infinite. 

Then as I flowed quickly through this shaft, I realized there was soft glowing light in the distance ahead.  Maybe like city lights appear long before you can see the city,,, more like a glow reflecting off the darkness.

Then as I looked to the side, I began to see images of my life {guess that is the life review} BUT, I saw my high school sweetheart = whom at that point I had not seen in 2 years.  As I reached out to him and he to me, I was pulled past him... EMOTIONAL SWEEP OF LOSS... I felt I would never be able to reach him and he was where I should be.  As deep as knowing that pure love and acceptance lie ahead at the lights of the city... that equal deepness of regret for lost love and a life that was missed.  Some how = beyond words, I knew that was my reason for existing and that I could not leave it unfinished.

That feeling of loss still brings tears to my eyes even though it has now been 37 years.

When I woke up the next morning I WAS SURPRISED!  A nurse had walked into the room, found a broken thermometer on the floor next to the stand and make a smart ass comment about I would have to pay for it!!! I REMEMBER THINKING THAT WAS SOOOO FUNNY just said okay with a big smile on my face.  How petty that was after seeing what I had seen ... how small all of this life is after seeing what lies ahead.

Ending: I wrote a letter to Joe {my truest love} told only him about my "dream" then went back to just trying to get through daily routines,,, but the rest of the story as they say...I was in traffic one day -looked in the mirror and he was there pointing to the side of the road...I pulled over. He came to my window and I said "What are you doing?" He said "Waiting for you to come to your senses... Marry me"  We have been happily married for over 35 years now and have 2 wonderful=grown children + one grandson...when I look at them I understand what the reason for me coming back.

Not only do I no longer fear death =mine or anyone else's= I completely believe in reincarnation and I will see these wonderful souls again and again.

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes     I had never heard of anyone having such an experience.. took a long time before I told some people...told one right away, could only describe as a dream, but I knew it was not a dream...did not know how to explain at that time

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          Yes     Very high fever, had been in intensive care for about a week, infection and had an allergic reaction to morphine 3 days prior to the NDE

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    Level is beyond words of the human language.  The only explanation is FULFILLED

Not judged, just contentment and love.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?    More consciousness and alertness than normal

If your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please explain:            Level is beyond words of the human language.  The only explanation is FULFILLED

Not judged, just contentment and love.

Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?  Yes     just seemed to absorb the interpretation of what I was seeing quicker and with more depth and memory of each thing.

Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?
            Uncertain      my experience only got so far as visual, no sounds

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Yes

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Love, Loss, Happiness and overwhelming sadness at what would be missed.

Not sure how to answer #13, should say all of the above as well as loss and sadness... odd combination of EVERYTHING AT ONCE, relief as in no longer sick. Calm as in it was ok to go there. Peace and understanding of that is where we belong.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?          Yes     smooth curves .. flowing

Did you see a light?           Yes     only in a distance.. I think I did not reach the full life review and did not go into the light...was on the way when I decided I had to come back

Did you meet or see any other beings?           Yes     saw him, but he is alive so did not get far enough along to meet any who may have crossed over.

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?    Yes     only in that seeing of my "now" husband and not being able to reach him, like I could not reach outside of the tunnel.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No       no way to verify... it was more of a "What if"

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?           No            think I was on the way,  since I was not in trauma or shock or anything...just drifting away, I think it gave me more time to decide to come back here.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes     I still have no way to know time...everything seemed to go very fast, but I know there is no "time" there, that is a human invention

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?     Yes            again, hard to explain, but through the years I feel this experience causes you to see everything through different filters...It has helped me to be able to help friends who lose a loved one.. I can help them understand {if they are open to it} what happens to us as souls = this body is just a container to serve us here on earth

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No       I think if I had reached the "city of lights" I would have chosen to stay, but I knew I had to come back .. and now understand that time means nothing so when I do cross over it will be as though it "is and has always been and always will be"

Did you become aware of future events?       No
            no, don't think I was that far along

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?     Uncertain      perhaps not psychic,, just more aware which helps to read people and project what choices they will make {right or wrong}

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     Other than my husband, who I only told some things to, I kept to myself for years... not knowing how to explain it and having never heard of anyone else who had experienced it .  I started talking to others telling bits and pieces on when it would help them == as they need to hear it.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?    No       NO not in any form.. I had never lost anyone close to me either, still had grandparents and parents.  In the 70's I never heard of such things.

How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:            Experience was definitely real    best explained as a new "Sense of who I am and who I was to become"