Gordon M's NDE

EXPERIENCE DESCRIPTION:

After I was shot I ran about 100 yards, It was right after midnight, No one would stop to help, I laid down in the middle of the street, I saw myself laying on the ground with people around me. I knew I was going to die , My life did not flash before me like a movie or images, I experienced the following (with complete clarity and comprehension -instantly I was aware of every negative interaction with other human beings in my life, I knew if I remained where I was I would feel and experience every harmful thing I had caused others knowingly or not in my life, as they had, it was very frightening because the collective emotional pain was overwhelming. I somehow sensed I was given a choice to go back-I prayed sincerely for the first time in my life, it was simple, I promised to be the best person I could be.

The next awareness I had was looking in the faces of two men over me, they were Fire Department paramedics, I asked one of them (very adamantly ) if I was going to die, told him to tell me the truth because I was trying to make my peace with God. His answer was he did not know, but if they could (with my help) keep me alive long enough to get to the hospital the Doctors would do their best, He told me they had to keep me from losing consciousness and going into deep shock, I lost five pints of blood before reaching the hospital but stayed conscious and did not go into deep shock. I was in surgery for four hours, I got hit with four shotgun pellets each the size of a .32 caliber bullet, two in the abdomen, one in the chest and one in my upper right arm . The Surgeons told my parents and siblings that (I was in intensive care) if I regained consciousness they needed to see me Immediately because they did not think I was going to make it. When I came to my Father and brother were standing at the foot of the bed, they looked very very distraught because they thought I was going to die- I knew I wasn't - I told them I was going to live, because I knew I was. I was in the hospital for 31 days,3 more surgeries because of infections, then 3 months of healing and rest.

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? No      

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          Yes    

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    When I was out of body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?    More consciousness and alertness than normal

If your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please explain:            When I was out of body

Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?  Uncertain     

Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?
            Yes     during the out of body my hearing seemed magnified, there was a clarity I have rarely experienced since.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Yes

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            A feeling of sadness because of my total lack of caring how my actions had  affected others and the knowledge of complete self centeredness.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?          Uncertain      It seemed I was in a dark place but within a close proximity there was something or someone and a light

Did you see a light?           Yes     it was almost like I felt the light

Did you meet or see any other beings?           Uncertain      I felt something or someone was there, it seemed I was given a choice to stay or go back

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?    Yes     I was infused instantly with the knowledge that my life to that point had been only about me with no regard for others, I learned that to love and respect others and all human beings is really what brings true success in life.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          Uncertain     

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?           No           

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes     when I was looking down at the scene and realized it was me on the ground.

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?     Yes     I have come to know there is a God and we are all very important to him and his greatest gift to us is free will.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No      

Did you become aware of future events?       No           

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?     Uncertain      I have a sense of well being, and gratefulness for my relationships with others, I do not want to die right now, but I am not afraid of death, I believe when it comes this time I will be comfortable with it.

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     about 10 years after, I have shared with others , reactions differ, depends on the person.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?    No      

How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:            Experience was probably real    It was real but hard to accept, I buried it for a while

Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or significant to you?            The knowledge and acceptance that the most import thing when dealing with others is to consider how my actions effect them, not how my actions effect me.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience:            Experience was definitely real    the reality is I have become a better human being, have a strong belief in God and his unconditional love.

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?           Yes     I truly care about people and respect them as human beings, I also believe they are loved by God unconditionally, and gives us free will.

Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?            Yes     I know God works through people, his spark of love is equal in every human being and it is up to each  human being to accept or reject it, I also believe he does not judge us, he leaves that to us to judge ourselves.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         Yes     There have been moments of clarity in my life during difficult times and situations to be still and let God do my work for me.           

Did the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?         Yes     the questions were pertinent to my experience