Ginny S's NDE

Experience description: 

At approximately 2:30 am on June 16, 2001, I was riding back to my campsite from Lacia during Biker's Week.  I was a passenger on my boyfriend's Harley.  Besides my boyfriend, 3 other friends were with me.  We rode around a corner, where a huge Dodge 4x4 with a King Cab was making a u-turn.  The truck took up both lanes of their rode.  We had no where to go and we couldn't stop.  We were traveling approximately 40mph, and we locked up our brakes when we saw the truck.  My boyfriend and I broadsided the truck. 

I was catapulted into the air about 30ft high and landed about 50ft away from the bike.  I wasn't wearing a helmet and I landed on my head.  In the accident I fractured my skull and lost all vital signs.  Most of what happened from then on I can't remember clearly.  What I am told is that one of the other two bikes riding with us also hit the truck.  The bike that didn't hit had two close friends on it.  They ran down the road and stopped traffic.  If they weren't there we would have probably been run over by the next car to come around the corner. 

The first car to come, stopped and helped us.  In it were two off duty police officers.  Ironically, one of them used to be a paramedic.  She resuscitated me and saved my life.  She pounded on my chest so hard she fractured on of my ribs.  We were all transported to the hospital.  After being resuscitated I was awake and began talking.  Even at the hospital I was awake for most of the time.  I don't remember gaining consciousness until hours after I had been in the hospital though. 

What I remember are flashing colored lights, probably those of the rescue and police cars.  I remember seeing a girl being put on a stretcher from an aerial view.  It was probably me seeing myself since I was the only female in the accident.  Strangely, I also faintly remember my neck being adjust when I was being put on the stretcher, which took about 3 seconds.  

The first time I remember being awake in the hospital, I asked the nurse why I was there.  She explained to me that I had just been in an accident and all of a sudden I thought, oh yeah! and remember everything that I remember now.  What makes this so strange for me is that I know by hearing through others that were there that I had been awake at the scene of the accident and also for hour while I was getting tested at the hospital.  But, I felt like I had just woken up from a sleep that was so deep and so comfortable that it was eerie and frightening.

Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience:  Yes

      Explanation:  After the experience I awoke in the hospital of no recollection of what had just happened. But after I was informed about being in an accident I instantly remember details of the accident.  When I gained consciousness I felt like I had awaken form the most peaceful and deep sleep imaginable.  I'm not sure if this intense feeling of relaxation was due to the morphine the hospital put me on.

Was the experience difficult to express in words?  Yes

      What was it about the experience that makes it hard to communicate?  The intense bone chilling fear, the incredible yet eerie sleep I awoke from, the fragmented images I remember

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?  I ranged from clinically dead and unconscious, to falling in and out of consciousness, to being conscious.  I don't think I was ever really alert though.  I had a serious concussion, so I didn't feel alert for months.

Was the experience dream like in any way?  Yes, I thought the whole experience had been a dream until the nurse told me why I was in the hospital.

Did you experience a separation of consciousness from your body?  Yes

Describe your appearance or form apart from your body:  I was awake but I don't remember being awake.  During the time when people told me I was awake and talking, I remember completely other things.

What emotions did you feel during the experience?  terrified, tired, calm, confused, relaxed, worried

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?  I saw bright flashes of light both white and colored.  Things were being said around me and I was somewhat aware that there was background noise yet I didn't hear it.  It was like it was there but it was distant and so muffled at the time I wasn't aware of it.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?  No

Did you see a light?  Yes

      Describe:  Yes.  Now, when I see many flashes of light from ambulances, fire trucks and police  I get a very unsettled feeling .

Did you meet or see any other beings?  No

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?  No

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?  No

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?  No

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?  Yes

      Describe:  When I was experiencing what I think was an out of body experience I lost time.  I lost the entire amount of time from being at the scene of the accident about to get in the ambulance, up until waking up, hours after arriving at the hospital.

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?  Yes

      Describe:  I felt like there was a presence with me, keeping me calm and reassuring me things were going to be okay.  But, I never saw anything or anyone and I never talked to anything or anyone.  I just didn't feel alone.  It's difficult to describe.  I didn't feel like anything or one was there, I just didn't feel as if I was isolated going through everything by myself either.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?  No

Did you become aware of future events?  No

Were you involved in or aware of a decision to return to the body?  No

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?  No

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?  Yes

      Describe:  My attitude about life is significantly different.  I am overwhelmingly aware of my own mortality.  I wonder all the time about question like, why are we here on earth, is there something more.  I believe more in spirits and wonder if I can ever learn how to channel my energy to communicate with them.

Has the experience affected your relationships?  Daily life?  Religious practices etc.?  Career choices?  After my experience I realized that prior to the experience I had lost a lot of motivation.  I figured that all the odds were against me making it that night, and I did.  There has to be a reason why God wants me here.  I decide to refocus myself and I am going to attend law school in Sept of 2003.

Have you shared this experience with others?  Yes

      Describe:  I didn't share my experience with very many people.  I feel that most of the time if I do, people don't quite understand.  It's not that they don't want to believe me, its that they are skeptical about the subject to begin with.  The only people I think I would enjoy talking to about it would probably be someone who could relate to it.

What emotions did you experience following your experience?  immense fear of death, confusion, anger, lucky, grateful, lonely

What was the best and worst part of your experience?  The worst part of this experience was my extreme fear of death which I felt afterward.  At first, I wished I had died in the accident because I felt that I would have never known and it wasn't that bad.  I felt it was already over with, now I have to relive it again.  I imagined dying in every way imaginable.  It was very disturbing to watch people in movies die because I would picture dieing the way they were in the movie.

The best thing that resulted from this accident is my own self-awareness.  I am refocused and motivated.  I see life for thing I never would have before.  This accident has also sparked my imagination and curiosity.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?  No response

      Describe:  Yes, I view the world differently.  I am thankful for everything I have.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?  Yes

      Describe:  Viewing certain movies where people died or got hurt in a similar fashion can reactivate the whole experience for me.  I also have dreams relating to accident.  The lights on rescue vehicles can stir up emotions for the accident.

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?  Yes

Please offer any suggestions you have to improve the www.nderf.org questionnaire?  I wonder sometimes if others experience that deep sleep that was so comfortable it was scary.