Frieda's NDE

Experience description: 

My husband and I were on a camping vacation in the woods in Maine.  I woke up that morning early and felt great....I walked down to the public showers in the state park campground, took a shower and got dressed. At that point I felt like I was going to pass out.  I knew I had to make it back to our tent because if I collapsed anywhere along the trail back, no one would find me and I had no ID on me. When I returned I collapse at the site. My husband dragged me into the car and we drove to the nearest town about 45 miles away.  He said when he found the hospital and went in to get help, by the time they came out I was unconscious in the car. 

But I remember hearing voices and comprehending what was going on....i heard nurses calling my name but i could not respond physically (in my head I wanted to tell them all the pain I had)...I heard the ER doctors discussing possible causes for my unconsiousness and hearing them ask my husband if there was any chance I could be pregnant -( which I was emphatically trying to answer them and say no but nothing came out).  I remember my body convulsing and shaking uncontrollably and i remember being so very cold.  I heard the nurses saying how dangerously low my blood pressure was rapidly dropping. I remember them taking me in for an ultrasound and hearing them talking about the large amount of blood filling up my abdominal cavity.

And all of this time they said I was "unconscious" to them but to me, I was very much there with them.  Time didn't seem to matter...it could have been one minute or it could have been one hour but it all blended.  I was in pain and very cold...then I remember "waking up" just as they were putting on a mask for anesthesia and swatting them away. Just as suddenly I felt no more discomfort.  The pain was gone, and I was no longer cold but the  perfect temperature - pain free as I had never felt it before. All I heard was a sound that sounded like blood rushing through my ears while I was in a perfectly quiet dark place (womblike). Then I felt as though I was floating (as if on one of those moving walkways in airports) but much quicker and smoother.  I was surrounded by darkness but suddenly I was headed towards a bright light....(just like the light at the dentist's office but bigger and brighter and more all-encompassing)  I felt no fear - I had no opinions about it one way or another but as I got closer to it I realized that I didn't want to go there yet and I turned away from it and just as swiftly was surrounded by the darkness again.  Then it was as if the television was switched off...no more transmissions coming thru.  Could not hear voices from the staff.

I remember waking up in ICU and the surgeon & my husband were by my bed.

Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?     Uncertain

surgery related drugs (anesthesia etc)

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes

don't want to come off sounding like I'm crazy...don't want to bore people or think that it's just a sympathy getting ploy....can't describe the actual events that are vivid to me but hard to put into words

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          Uncertain

doctors unable to diagnose problem quickly- rapidly losing blood - pressure dropping (from internal hemmoraghing)

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?           they said I was unconscious when they brought me in - I could hear what they were saying but could not answer or speak....but i heard everything said.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   not dreamlike at all. It felt VERY real...

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Yes

Yes, one minute I was in excruciating pain and cold - the next I was at perfect peace with everything around me....no pain but also I had no feeling (no feeling of laying on the strecher or operating table) no sensation of touch or smell...and instead of shivering from the cold, I was perfectly warm all over.

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?           just the sound of blood rushing through your ears - like when you're in a very quiet room.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?          Uncertain, more like being surrounded by darkness

Did you see a light?           Yes, huge bright white light

Did you meet or see any other beings?           No

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?    No

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          Uncertain

I haven't verified this with anyone as I am now 600 miles away from the hospital. Haven't discussed it with anyone other than my husband who just said that I was unconscious the entire time.

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?           No

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes

time meant nothing....no sense of hurried pace or time dragging....it is what it was....

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Uncertain

I knew that if I went forward into the light I would not be able to turn around and leave and I just wanted to stay in the darkness more

Did you become aware of future events?       No

Were you involved in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the body?       No

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         No

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   Uncertain, confusion

How has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices?       has seemed to create a closer bond with my husband (the whole traumatic event), I feel depressed more often now wishing sometimes that I had not turned around but continued into the light (is this selfish?) Still working at the same job but realizing how pointless it really is (now more than before the incident)

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Uncertain

I don't know what this all means....I don't feel any different towards life (like having an appreciation for it more etc)  Very confused and don't want to sound like a "nut case" to people by discussing it

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes, only one friend and my husband.  Both of whom I feel safe talking about things like this.

What emotions did you experience following your experience?  depression at times (as stated above) for not going all the way into the light when I had the chance.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      best:  being pain free (emotionally as well as physically)