I underwent
twilight anesthesia procedure using depruvera (spelling?) for oral surgery. I
have a very low heart rate, 39-42 beats per minute. Too much or the wrong
anesthesia will lower my heart rate even more and kill me. I warned the
anesthesiologist of this condition. While he was busy giving instructions and
watching the monitors rather than me, I had a reaction. Paralysis crept from my
lower chest up through my esophagus, my complete throat and neck and my head. I
started having distress and extreme shortness of breath. After s short period, I
could no longer breathe. I tried to yell out, tried to scream and there was no
voice, no sound. It was like being in a coffin, buried and alive, with no one
hearing. I stopped breathing completely and could no longer move. I was at the
point of straining, trying to call out. Finally an assistant heard a faint
whisper come out of me, "not breathing." He still did not understand and the
anesthesiologist was not paying attention. I ten left my body and saw it go
limp. I was at the point of not returning. The tech who tried to catch my
whisper caught what was happening. The anesthesia mask was ripped off the I.V.
was taken out and I was intubated. I came back in a panic, clawing and gabbing
at everything. I was surprised how close I came and I immediately recalled being
out of body watching myself go limp. The evening before the experience, I had a
dream of two long dead friends, who told me "we are waiting for you." I guess
that they will have to wait some more. Up until two days ago, I have had a
strange feeling of being sad and melancholy.
I am not a
person who is greatly spiritual. I go to church, but am a critical thinker. I am
educated with two Masters degrees. However, I know that something unusual
happened and I definitely do not feel the same.
Was the kind
of experience difficult to express in words?
No
At the time of this
experience, was there an associated life threatening event?
Yes
At what time during the
experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?
Before seeing my body go limp, I was very aware that I was on the edge of dying.
After the limp body experience, I was aware of a panic stage in recovery.
A week
later, the anesthesiologist verified that the reaction and my condition was very
real.
How did your highest level of
consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every
day consciousness and alertness?
Less consciousness and alertness than normal
If your highest level of
consciousness and alertness during the experience was different from your normal
every day consciousness and alertness, please explain:
Before seeing my body go limp, I was very aware that I was on the edge of dying.
After the limp body experience, I was aware of a panic stage in recovery.
A week
later, the anesthesiologist verified that the reaction and my condition was very
real.
Did your
vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such
as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of
solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?
Yes It was hazy, but then, I was going under anesthesia. I had enough depth
perception that I saw myself go limp.
Did your
hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect,
such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?
No I heard voices, but uncertain if my hearing was any more
acute or not.
Did you
experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?
Yes
What
emotions did you feel during the experience?
At first panic because I was aware of what was happening. Then, when
I went limp, I felt myself giving up. For a brief moment, a calmness started
when I went limp.
Did you
pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?
No
Did you
see a light?
No
Did you
meet or see any other beings?
Yes See above comments about two long dead friends. They told me that they
were waiting for me, and I felt that they were.
Did you
experience a review of past events in your life?
No I now feel that dying is mostly in stages, if not instant, like a heart
attack or auto accident. I am just learning to cope with the experience as it
has only been less than 10 days after the incident. I have had a feeling of
remorse, sadness and melancholy after the incident. I keep thinking about it and
cannot shake the thought that it is going to repeat itself.
Did you
observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that
could be verified later?
Yes Everything that happened associated with the anesthesia incident was
verified by the anesthesiologist. He verified the reaction to the anesthesia. We
talked about my heart rate and what happened. He determined that I did quite
breathing and had to be brought back
Did you
see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or
dimensions?
No
Did you
have any sense of altered space or time?
Yes Period of time seemed out of place somehow when I went limp.
Did you
have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?
No
Did you
reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?
Uncertain
Did you
become aware of future events?
No
Did you
have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you
did not have prior to the experience?
Uncertain Ability to see myself
Have
you shared this experience with others?
Yes Within the hour of being revived...with my wife and her friend who drove
me back home, a 2 hr. trip
Did you
have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?
Yes Had a dream the evening prior to the incident. Two long dead
friends, husband and wife, "were waiting for me." It probably heightened my
anxiety going into the procedure.
How did
you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it
happened:
Experience was definitely real I knew it happened and why and it was
verifiable. I became exhausted. People told me, days afterward, that I looked
exhausted, tired and some place else. I remained in that state until tow days
ago (7-8 days).
Were
there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or
significant to you?
Seeing my body
going from paralysis to limp and being aware that it was happening. I felt
myself giving up, surrendering. Upon revival, I was in a panic, gasping for air
under an oxygen mask and grabbing everything around me.
How do
you currently view the reality of your experience:
Experience was definitely real See above comments. It was medically
verifiable.
Have your
relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?
Uncertain
I feel
different, which my wife commented on this evening. I told her that since the
experience, I was not confident about my longevity and need to get things in
order.
Have
your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your
experience?
No
Following the
experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or
substances which reproduced any part of the experience?
No
Is
there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?
This was
real. I was at the stage of going limp and giving up. I constantly think about
it.
Did the
questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and
comprehensively describe your experience?
Yes The
introduction of the subject, explaining the stages of death at the point of
going limp accurately described my experience, except that I saw myself go limp,
even though, I was paralyzed and unable to move.
