Esther N's NDE

Experience description: 

When I was five years old, I became sick with strep throat, and had to go to the hospital.  This was complicated by the fact that I had then, (and have now) a mild, generalized case of an ailment known as MYASTHENIA GRAVIS -- which, if left untreated, result in death from exhaustion, even if you only lie in bed! It has been described as the "disease which saps strength."  Before the drug Prostigmine, (and later, the drugs Mestinon and Mytelase) were discovered, 90% of Myasthenics died.  Now, 90% live.   (I felt I should give this info first, because MG is not that well known, even today -- although it is getting to be better known.  But I used to envy people with Diabetes.....because at least non-diabetics knew what their disease was!  Also, it is important to what I experienced.   But I digress here....  Sorry...

Anyway, I was five years old, had MG, and now also had a strep throat.  In the hospital, I was in a ward with about 20 other children.  (I was told later I was running a 108 degree temperature).  Anyway, all of a sudden, during the night, (I remember it was dark in the room), I suddenly found myself looking down at all the little beds in the ward.  I don't remember going on the ceiling -- but I do remember thinking how much all the little beds looked like shoe-boxes -- and you don't get that perspective unless you are looking down from the ceiling.

Then, all at once, I was surrounded by a bright, blue light, and felt myself being drawn to....somewhere.  It was like I was being drawn through the sky, the blue was of that color.  I didn't know why this was happening -- like most children, I accepted what was happening as the way it should be....

Then, suddenly, I found myself in a beautiful garden.  The closest description I can give is that it looked a bit like "Tellytubbyland" -- but with higher hills.  In front of me, when I arrived, were all these beautiful ladies!  All but one had long blonde hair, and all were dressed in white dresses.  Each one was under an individual bower.  The lady in the center had long, dark hair, like my own.  And she was looking at me, looking at me, looking at me very, very intently.  I sensed she had a great, and kind desire to know me, to know all about me.......

Then, suddenly, I was back in my bed in the hospital.  It turned out that, in addition to having 108 degree temperature, the busy nurses had forgotten to give my MG medication!  If ever there were a "formula" for having a near-death experience, this has got to be it!   And it probably wouldn't have been a "near" death experience, if my father hadn't stepped in, and told the nurses to give me my medication!

For about 35 years, I always referred to this experience as "the Magic Life".  I had NO idea it was a near-death experience, until one day, my mother told me about the 108 degree temperature, and my father telling the nurses to give me my meds!  She also told me that, at that time, all my relatives on both sides of the family were alive -- including both sets of grandparents.  All my relatives EXCEPT the woman I have been named after -- my mother's sister, who died at the age of 19 from pneumonia and high blood pressure.

I believe it must have been my name-sake, the beautiful lady with the long dark hair, whom I saw, in the midst of the other beautiful ladies, with long blonde hair, whom I think must have been angels......

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? No,     

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          Yes     I was in the hospital with strep throat.   I was running a 108 degree temperature.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    I was conscious and alert all through the experience.  But I think that when I went through "the blue sky", I had a heightened sense of consciousness and alertness.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?    More consciousness and alertness than normal

If your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please explain:            Very little difference, actually.  But I did have a sense that I was in a strange but friendly place, and that there were many pieces of knowledge which were hidden from most people.

Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?  Yes     Well, the only thing different was that I remember that the "blue sky" tunnel was very, very bright.  It DID NOT hurt my eyes...just was very bright.

Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?             No      

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     No

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            As a child, I didn't question what was happening, of course.  I accepted it as normal -- but, as I said, I do remember thinking, at the beginning of the experience, how much all the little beds in the ward looked like little shoeboxes.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?          Uncertain      Well, as I said before, it wasn't a tunnel that I felt I was going through.  I felt like I was going through the sky...

Did you see a light?           Uncertain      There may have been some "twinkling stars" in the "sky" I was going through.  I honestly don't remember whether or not.

Did you meet or see any other beings?           Yes     All the answers to this question are in my main description.

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?    No       I was 5 years old, and hadn't even started elementary school, so I really didn't have any past life events to review.  However, I now know I can't be a complete Agnostic all the time.   Perhaps there is a heaven and/or hell after all.  I'm still ambivalent about it all.  Maybe because every time I discussed anything remotely out-of-ordinary with my parents, (ghosts, UFOs, as well as OBES), they always said this was "silly".  Because, I think, Judaism is more concerned with the here-and-now than the Hereafter, and, liberal as they are, they were trained that way.  Still, I myself can't help wondering if, perhaps........!

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          Uncertain      As I said before, my mother did mention that the only person who had died at that time, when I was five, in the entire family on both sides, was my mother's sister, who had died at 19 from pneumonia and high-blood pressure.  I've seen a picture of her -- but I don't remember the face of the lady in the middle, it was so long ago.......

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?           Yes            As I mentioned, the area I landed in looked like a beautiful garden -- "Tellytubbyland" with higher hills.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   No
          
Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?     Yes     I had the idea that there is much hidden knowledge, like I said.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes     Well, like I said, there were all these beautiful ladies underneath bowers who greeted me.   I think there was a high hedge behind them.  But I wasn't there long enough to cross beyond the border.

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?     Uncertain      I think I came out of the experience more psychic.  I don't have much to compare my psychic abilities before it happened, as I was 5 at the time -- but just having this experience made me realize that there can actually be things we don't know about yet.

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     For a long time, I didn't tell anyone.  Probably because memories of the experience kept fading in and out of my consciousness -- there were times in the past when I couldn't remember it at all.  And, as I said, I didn't even know it was an NDE, until my mother told me all the details, and so I called it "The Magic Life", before then.  I remember I asked someone once WHY I didn't want to tell others, and she said it was because I was afraid of being mocked.

But I recently told my sister, and a few close friends, on separate occasions, and they were all fascinated.  But still, every time I tell the story, it seems to go a little bit more away.......for a while, at least....

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?    No      

Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or significant to you?    It was all an adventure!   Each part was meaningful and significant, and heightened my belief that something "else" after death may indeed be possible.

How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:            Experience was definitely real
            It happened.  It was real to me.  It was NOT a dream.  It all happened exactly as I described it.  Being a child, I was dazed by it all, and didn't know what it meant.  I may have told some people, I don't remember -- but was probably put down, as the meanderings of a child's imagination, then.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience:            Experience was definitely real
            I remember it happening.  And there is more and more research being done into NDEs.  Besides, at 5, I didn't know anything about my name-sake, or that she had died.  But I saw this lady, with long dark hair, in the midst of all the ladies with long blonde hair.  If I had imagined it, I think ALL the ladies would have had long blonde hair....because that's how it is in fairy tales.  But the lady in the middle had DARK hair, (like mine!)

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?           Yes
            My parents still think it's "silly", or a "dream".   But my sister is also interested in the paranormal, and we've become closer together -- at least when discussing this experience.

Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?            Yes            As I mentioned, I can't be a complete Agnostic every day now.   It's very possible, I think, for God to exist.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         Yes     During my "trip through the sky", I had a very definite, slightly dizzy feeling.  Years later, watching the program "Strange Universe", it was mentioned that rubbing the spot behind your right ear, can evoke the feeling people have when they are dying, but not any light.   Curious, I finally tried it -- and it was the same feeling!  But I guess I rubbed too hard -- because I can't do it again!

(And so I wonder does this mean I can't die now?  Or that I'll definitely go to Hell?  It's confusing!)

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?        At the time this happened, I was living in an apartment in a large apartment building.  It seemed to me that when I saw the ladies, they were actually in the back garden of the apartment building, (with additional foliage).  But, of course, when I looked there after I came home, the extra foliage was not there.

Did the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?         Yes     I've tried to be as complete and honest as I can be.

Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire:
            It would be nice if I could get a copy of what I've written!