Home PageCurrent NDEsShare Your NDE

Ellen K's NDE

Integration Experience 7 years difference.

Experience Description 2012:

I was sitting at home one afternoon, unaware that I was pregnant and had been feeling uncomfortable for some days. I had a severe pain in my right side which steadily got worse until I felt I was being stabbed with a white hot sword. at this point I became delirious and started drifting in and out of consciousness, my partner was trying to wake me but I was delirious and then all of a sudden the pain stopped and I started drifting or being surrounded/pulled into an energy which was like a tunnel, I could see my home outside the tunnel and was semi aware of things going on around me, mainly my partner panicking and trying to arrange to get me to the hospital. I liked the feeling of being in the tunnel because in it was no pain and I felt happy and comfortable. outside was pain. I don't remember the journey to the hospital but I remember being vaguely aware of medics asking me my name and telling me in no uncertain terms that I was to answer them, I couldn't as I was now in a place that was like being in the clouds.. just pure white, I felt comfortable and blissfully unaware of anything until I heard a voice telling me it was ok and that I was in the presence of my father and Jesus, I could not see anyone but I was fully aware of the interaction and that I was able to interact also. I felt a tremendous sense of paternal love, which I found odd afterwards because I was brought up in a single parent family having never had a father.

I watched a movie of my whole life it took a fraction of a second but everything was there, I had no questions, all the answers were within me, I felt  like I was all knowing. no sense of pain, suffering or hunger and so on.

Then the voice who called himself Jesus (he told me when I asked who are you/where am I) asked me, "well, how do you think you did?" I paused and giggled and said "much like my school report really, could have done better" The voice said "so, what do you want to do?" again I paused and even though I had no physical body it was like I shrugged my shoulders and said "not sure really" At that point I was shown another movie, It was a hospital bed surrounded by my family and partner and my mother who were all looking sad and crying. In the bed, there I lay dead. I felt a wave of emotion and cried out "oh no, my mum's crying, I can't have that and besides I haven't had my kids yet!" and virtually straight away I woke up in that very hospital bed with my family around me all looking very worried.

 At the time of your experience was there an associated life-threatening event?   Yes  Severe internal blood loss & shock

 Was the experience difficult to express in words?  Yes     Hard to explain to others without them thinking you are crazy.

 At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    In the white Cloud state

 How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness?      More consciousness and alertness than normal   I Knew everything.

 Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.   no vision

 Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.   normal hearing

 Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during a time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body?   Yes   myself in the hospital bed dead with my family grieving around me.

 What emotions did you feel during the experience?   Pure unconditional love.  

Did you pass into or through a tunnel?   Yes   it was see through and it felt really nice, the only way I could describe it was a golden warm feeling of love.

 Did you see an unearthly light?   Yes   I was aware that beyond the clouds was my father and he was an immense source of loving energy and light, again golden.

 Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice?   I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
it was like telepathy rather than hearing, the voice said he was Jesus and my father.

 Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)?   Yes   Jesus & God (?)

 Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings?   Yes  

Did you become aware of past events in your life during your experience?   Yes   I watched a flash movie of my whole life from birth to death.

 Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world?   A clearly mystical or unearthly realm
 it was like I had returned home

 Did time seem to speed up or slow down?   Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning

 Did you suddenly seem to understand everything?   Everything about the universe
cant describe. just everything. have amnesia again now!!

 Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?   Uncertain
I'm not sure where I was but I'm pretty sure it wasn't the be all and end all of everything.

 Did you come to a border or point of no return?   No

 Did scenes from the future come to you?  Scenes from my personal future 
my family gathered round my hospital bed.

 During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that there either is (or is not) continued existence after earthly life (“life after death”)?   Yes   I felt like there was more to come.

 During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that God or a supreme being either does (or does not) exist?   Yes   That there was an all encompassing divine source energy

 During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that you either did (or did not) exist prior to this lifetime?   Yes   The answers to all my lifetimes questions. But it was like nothing really mattered.

 During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that a mystical universal connection or unity/oneness either does (or does not) exist?   Yes   awareness that a mystical universal connection or unity/oneness does exist.

 During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s meaning or purpose?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s difficulties, challenges, or hardships?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding love?   Yes   That I was loved and it was unconditional.

 During your experience, did you encounter any other specific information / awareness that you have not shared in other questions that is relevant to living our earthly lives?   No  

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge or purpose?   Yes   only my own personal knowledge but also a grander awareness of all. but I can't remember it all now.

 What occurred during your experience included:   Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience   I was very unsure about religion, I considered myself an atheist.

 How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience?   I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience     

My experience directly resulted in:   Moderate changes in my life

Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that occurred as a result of the experience?   Yes   I now believe in "god"

 Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you?   it goes along with the theory that we are all part of a great source energy learning stuff, like going back to school in order to expand consciousness.

 Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience?   No  

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you?     it goes along with the theory that we are all part of a great source energy learning stuff, like going back to school in order to expand consciousness.

Have you ever shared this experience with others?   Yes  straight away with my partner, then I told a few more people but their reactions put me off telling anybody else until a few years ago when people openly came to me and specifically asked me.

 Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?   Yes   through books and magazines.

 What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:   Experience was definitely real   because it was very profound in my mind. I was in awe and felt like I had been shown a glimpse of reality.

 What do you believe about the reality of your experience at the current time:   Experience was definitely real   I'm not sure, I'd like to know why this happened to me.

 Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?   Yes   I find it hard to be around non spiritual people.

 Have your religious beliefs/spiritual practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?   Yes   I'm now following Jerry & Esther Hicks and their teachings from Abraham as well as astro Physics and The laws of attraction and  learning from Buddhism.

 At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience?   No     

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?   Yes  

 

Experience description 2005: 

At first I was experiencing the most excruciating pain I had ever felt in my life, It was like being stabbed with a white hot sword over and over again!

after  roughly twenty minutes of this pain I began to feel serene and the pain was fading, I was apparently slipping in and out of consciousness, I vaguely remember people calling my name and touching me for a response but I was too busy concentrating on this "golden vortex" which seemed to be reeling me in!  The pain was going and I remember a strong sensation of warmth, comfort and pure love.

I was vaguely aware too when the ambulance crew arrived and were calling my name and trying to get a response out of me, but I could not respond as I was apparently unconscious! I also remember getting into the emergency room in the hospital and the staff there calling my name but getting no response, at this time I knew I was probably going to die as I could see the urgency in the faces of the doctors and my partner, but I didn't care, the pain had gone.

I eventually left the people here on earth and went into the brightest white light, there was nothing but light and love, warmth comfort and a feeling of forgiveness and understanding.

I couldn't see anything or anyone just the light but I feel I was communicating with my "father" which is strange as my father is still alive he didn't feel like my biological father but an "ultimate Father of all"(???)hope you can understand that!!

I experienced a time of rest and love and healing and then (I cant say when as time was meaningless) I had like a life review which was quite funny even though it was emotionally upsetting. I was asked what I thought and we agreed, much like the comments on all my school reports, "could have done better".

I was then asked what I would like to do next, whether I would like to go back to my life and try to improve or stay in the light, I guess I must have been undecided as I was then shown a vision of all my family around my hospital bed crying and looking really worried, this tugged on my heartstrings and I decided I wanted to go back as I couldn't bear to upset my family by leaving them behind!

so then I remember sick feelings and pain and my eyes opened and I awoke to see my family around my hospital bed all worried and upset!!!!!

I had been unconscious for two days and it was touch and go whether I would survive.

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes    

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          Yes     My fallopian tube had burst and by the time I was rushed to hospital for emergency surgery I had fallen into deep unconsciousness and had to be resuscitated

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    When I was in the light.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?    More consciousness and alertness than normal

If your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please explain:            I knew and could see everything.

Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?  Yes     I could feel the colors and knew they were more than just colors, maybe part of a being.

Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?
            Yes     seemed faint but clear,

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Yes

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            love, security, forgiveness, sadness and joy.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?          Yes     like a warm golden tunnel/vortex

Did you see a light?           Yes     after the tunnel everything was the brightest white ever, there was only white.

Did you meet or see any other beings?           Yes     felt like "the boss of everything" but very paternal, he was the light.

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?    Yes     I saw all my flaws and where I had been going wrong in my life, as well as my good points.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          Yes     when I had a vision of everyone around my hospital bed. I awoke and there they were, although no one would believe me!

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?            Uncertain      I think so beautiful gardens and places to rest.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes     no time or space etc just the white light.

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?     Yes     I have forgotten most of it but the truth is love.?????

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No      

Did you become aware of future events?       Yes
            I would become a mother.

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?     Yes     people say they feel healed in my prescience!!!!(?!?!?!?!)

Have you shared this experience with others?         No      

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?    No      

How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:            Experience was definitely real    Exciting, I felt relieved, happy, no longer feared death or pain. I knew at the end of it all everything would be alright for everyone. hell is a myth!

Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or significant to you?   

How do you currently view the reality of your experience:            Experience was definitely real    it happened to me and that's all I can say

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?           Yes     I am more interested in justice and standing up for myself!

Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?            Uncertain      probably slightly more spiritual, but skeptical at the same time, I feel like I can see right through fake mediums etc. (which is most of them in my opinion!!!)

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No      

Did the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?         Yes     feelings and experiences.