Elizabeth L NDE

EXPERIENCE DESCRIPTION:

I had spent about 24 hours in extreme discomfort from pressure in my chest and after taking a shower I packed a small bag with essentials and sat as quietly as possible waiting for daylight to call 911. They came promptly, were very thoughtful and kind and gave me a choice of hospitals, one of which they took me to. I was immediately put on a gurney and taken into a small side room with necessary monitors. About 10:45 a nurse came in to ask if I felt I could be alone as she wanted to go get something to eat as she had had no breakfast yet. Normally I would have thought of the nurse's needs first and said sure go ahead. I didn't for some reason and suggested she wheel me out near the desk or next to the OR. and as she started to push me through the door into the hall, I heard "code blue -code blue" and realized from a distance it was about me. My hearing, smell and "vision?" became very acute; I was aware of EVERYTHING.  The only voluntary thinking seemed to be "Hmmn, I wonder what's next." I heard a young man's rather angry voice say for God's sake get that ambulance back here, this place has no equipment to deal with this case, I'll ride with her down to Lankenau, she's damn lucky I came in here on a Sunday. Then I was aware of lots of activity, a woman's voice calling, Elizabeth plus Mrs. L and sweetheart to please come back, then giggles, laughter which seemed strange to me under the circumstances.

Later she asked me, had I heard her, to which I replied of course but what was so funny that made everyone laugh so hard and she said your answer that came out suddenly with your first breath, when I called to come back. Made I have permission to put it in our record book of NDEs. You sounded angry when you said, "I'll THINK about it. I did not recall saying anything but I felt very annoyed to be taken away from such a peaceful space. And space is exactly what it was. It was the color of Montana sky, had no walls, ceiling or any type of perimeters. There were a few of very white clouds here and there and I recall looking around for some kind of tunnel or exit but at the same time hoping I could be in this place forever free of emotional and physical pain, or stress, it was fabulous indeed, but as I thought about be able to stay where I was, I heard a powerful voice, heard isn't exactly the right word. I seemed to feel/hear/sense it in my thinking part of my brain. It said NO, not now, later, you have much yet to do. I was sad to be back in the physical part of me and am still wondering what I should be doing.

I did drive a few weeks later, with my precious buddy Tuette beside me, from Philadelphia to Seattle, with a bumper sticker that proclaimed (DOG IS MY CO-PILOT). I also joined Hospice at Jefferson Hospital in Port Townsend to be out there, so I would see what ever I was supposed to do and be aware. Nothing major has occurred but I have had many Jungian synchronicities where other folks were maybe facing death or their dear ones were and I have been able to allay their fears. If that's all I'm supposed to do, so be it. Fear is not addressed enough in religions; in fact there is too much of it in most of them, so maybe that is to be my job.

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? No       there actually are no words to truly express an awesome experience and I have a very broad vocabulary in several tongues

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          Yes     I had come to the hospital alone from a difficult home environment in the middle of moving from east coast to west coast, a major life change.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    That is difficult to say as it was pretty even

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?    More consciousness and alertness than normal

If your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please explain:            That is difficult to say as it was pretty even

Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?  Yes     I think I explained it in the story part - it was a feeling of vision and even though it would be very normal for me to see especially in color because of my artistic career, even that seemed to be a thought form.

Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?
            Yes     I could actually hear everything at once even some of what they were thinking

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Yes

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Peace, Joy, Safety needing nothing else    This was sooo wonderful considering the hell I had been through for weeks prior

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?          No       Happiness is a choice we have, JOY is not it is a gift

Did you see a light?           No       I was in the light - it was all around me and through me

Did you meet or see any other beings?           No      

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?    No      

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No      

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?            Yes     I said in my experience description that it was an undefined space

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Uncertain     

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?     Yes     I have always had a sense of universal order and/or purpose -

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Uncertain     

Did you become aware of future events?       No
            I get feelings of future events and know when people are saying one thing while thinking another

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?     Yes     I don't know if I didn't have them before or just am now paying attention to them.

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     I did share it with my surgeon and he cautioned me to choose carefully with whom I shared it.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?    Yes     I studied with Richard Sutphen about 20 yrs ago but knew no one who had had this experience and yes I guess it did because I was looking for a tunnel or opening to a special place

How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:            Experience was definitely real    There was nothing out of reality other than my super-hearing/feeling/etc that would make me not accept the experience as true for me.

Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or significant to you?            Yes that there was a reason for me to continue living

How do you currently view the reality of your experience:            Experience was definitely real            After a while I did question it but the synchronistic signposts that continue along my life's path keep it real for me and I AM cautious about those I share it with. I WILL not allow others to spoil the beautiful memory of it for me

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?           Yes     Those of my spiritually based friends have gotten stronger but the assholes in my life don't stay around too long. Excuse the cruditee but it suffices for me.

Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?            Yes     Just a little as I have been able to validate that I don't need a church or a group since I feel stronger on my own than I did before. And I can feel lonely but never feel alone.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No      

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?        I wish anyone with fear as a companion could have a similar experience.

Did the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?         Yes     I was surprised how well the questions addressed the experience - I have not had that happen with anything before on the internet. Thank You

Are there any other questions we could ask to help you communicate your experience?   I can't believe I don't have suggestions - I Always have to add something. LOL There is a Jungian Psychologist who wrote a book (The Borderlanders) you just might want to contact. I met him at a UU church when he was speaking there. He's online.