Elaine C's NDE

EXPERIENCE DESCRIPTION:
           
I was taking a ride with a friend of the family, it was a "treat" to go with him, adult and child although I didn't want to I was forced into it. he stopped in a field and tried to rape me, saying fundamental Christian things the whole time. I fought him, he got angry and slammed the left side of my head against the dash board.

the next thing I knew I was following an intense bright light, there was darkness all around me, the light didn't hurt my eyes, it was warm and loving, I wanted to be where it was. I wanted to go, even though I didn't understand what was happening, that I was leaving my family and the family dog who I loved so much. when I "arrived" my memory is fuzzy about it but I remember people around me, no one I knew had died yet. these people were in white robes. they were so alive, more alive then anyone I had known before, they shown with intense light but my eyes were not like earth eyes and I could see different there, like my eyes were adjusted for the light. like when you go out from a dark house to a bright day and your eyes adjust to the brightness.  These people were complete love. they told me things. some I didn't remember until later in my life. (because of the molestation I had ongoing from the man's son and the brain injury I forgot a lot, I remembered the day I buried the memory of the molestation, I was 10 because I could not handle it at that time) They told me I would not have children, but I would come to be at peace with it. I always knew I could not have children, I had a hysterectomy without ever having children.  Our dogs and cats are like our children to us. 

I have realized since I remembered the brain injury and the residuals came up in my late 30's that I would never have been able to take care of children. saw myself starting to become successful and I had glasses. I was eager to get glasses which I got at the age of 25.  they told me that I would have someone very special, a love that is a true love to love me the rest of my life. I always knew that I would find the special some one. I married my husband at age 22.  because of the molestation and the problems I had emotionally with that we separated but talked every day and spent every Saturday together. we got re-married last year after working every thing out, after I forgave that man. we still have that special love, more then ever. I don't remember them telling me this, but I have seen the future and happenings as they happen, we use to live about a mile from high way 97 there were accidents on it quite frequently. I would know when they happened at times. once we were driving the long way home, I told Cary to slow down, I had a feeling of panic in this one spot. the next day I found out that a man died at that spot. another time I woke up feeling crushed. the next day I found out that a couple was crushed but not killed by rocks coming off the hill 5 miles away. there are too many to list. I always knew that if I used this ability for my own gain I would lose it, not that I ever would use it for my own gain, my frustration in it is it is never clear enough to warn anyone. they also told me I would be very successful in life professionally and do great things for others.  I am now starting to do many things in my profession this last year and I am on the Colorado Traumatic Brain Injury Advisory Board. I know I will be doing more for others. I plan to volunteer for Mother Teresa's hospice here in town once my job situation works out. I think they told me more but I don't remember.  they told me I had to go back.  I didn't want to. I wanted to stay in that wonderful place. where I would be like them, where I would get such wisdom, I knew it would hurt so much to go back to my body. but I had to go back. I felt a pull on my whole self and like a zip I was back in my body. (there was blackness all around going back in, the in-between here and there, even though there is no difference, they are here but we don't see them because we are too caught up in the physical world, is blackness) I felt so bad, my head hurt so horribly bad, I was so sick and throwing up, I was so dizzy. he was scared to death, he was praying, he knew he killed me. he was not scared for me, I was less important then his cows, he was scared for himself, how was he going to explain this, what would happen to him. dieing is wonderful. no matter how, it doesn't hurt to die, what hurts is coming back to your body, there is no fear in dieing, dieing is being born into the real life. we are here to love each other. to learn. that is what the message is. I want everyone to know that it is real there more real then here and what I said about dieing and their message.

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Uncertain      the beauty of it, the intensity of light, the more life of the people without the shell of the body. how it hurt to come back into my body. how much I wanted to stay. how wonderful it is there

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          Uncertain      I died

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    when I was there, on the other side

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?    More consciousness and alertness than normal

If your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please explain:            when I was there, on the other side

Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?  Yes     the more realness, intenseness of everything, brightness, but I could see it all with eyes not of the body, eyes of spirit. much better eyes. eyes that could take it in. see deeper and more. hard to explain.  I wish you could have seen it, you will some day.

Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?            No       not that I can remember, I would expect that I should since every thing was so much more intense but I don't remember it.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Yes

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            total peace, intense love, NOT wanting to go back to my body, amazement at learning what I did.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?          Yes    

Did you see a light?           Yes    

Did you meet or see any other beings?           Yes     they were on the other side. I didn't know them, they weren't passed on friends or relatives, no one had passed on in my life at that time, but I "knew" them some how. they told me I would never have kids, I would start to be successful in my life after I got glasses, I would have a special love to be with me the rest of my life, I would see the future but lose the ability if I ever used it for personal gain, (other then save myself from harm) I would be successful professionally and do great things in helping people, it would hurt very bad going back to my body. I must go back. they told me other things that I don't remember yet but I will know when I happens

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?    No       in knowing I would never have kids I didn't get my hopes up. it was easier that way. knowing I was going to have a special love helped me when I would have lost hope later in life and that got me and my husband together again. knowing I would be successful in life made me always fight, never give up, of course a lot of this is my nature and having the brain injury, you fight every day just to live

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          Yes     told I would never have kids. I never could have kids. had hysterectomy. would not start being successful in life until had glasses. got glasses at age 25 that is when I started becoming successful. would become very successful professionally. I am starting to become very successful in my professionally, with out schooling past high school, because of brain injury could barely make it through high school but still highly intelligent. brain injury doesn't mean people lose intelligence just have blocks. I am writing article for society of rehabilitation providers, I am their medical coding advisor, I am a medical coding advisor of an orthopedic Dr. in town. I am mentoring a newly gradated coding student. I was told I would do great things to help others. I am on the Colorado Traumatic Brain Injury Advisory Board. I was told I could see things before they were going to happen, there are more then I could list with out being here all night that have happened

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?           No           

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes     it was not here. it was too wonderful and intense to be here

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?     No      

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes     blackness in-between the physical and the other side

Did you become aware of future events?       Yes
            I was told in words and not words but in knowing. totally accurate

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?     Uncertain      I was 5 and don't know of what my life was before that. the special gift I have I don't know if I had before.  skeptics about precognition always say if it is real how come the people who have it don't see their own bad things coming. the "bad" things in my life I don't see because I needed to go through them and turn out to be good in the long run.

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     I was 38 it happened when I was 5.  I had buried the memory of the molestation because I was young and couldn't handle it when I was 38 I was ready to handle the memory and was in therapy, my therapist was a expert in brain injuries. she never lead me in any way, I was having many residuals, I am a medical coder so know a lot about medicine. I told her one day that I thought maybe I had a brain injury when I was molested, she gave me a book she had written a chapter in.  I took it home and read part of one chapter, I had sticky notes every where with arrows pointing. I had 8 of the 10 signs of TBI. I was tested and have a mod. brain injury.  about a month later with out her leading or encouraging me to remember anything I remembered the whole event. she believed me. I have told others, the daughter, my oldest and best friend of the man who did it, she believed me and grieved about the harm done to me, I have told my husband and the man I was seeing for awhile. I don't remember all I told. most were very sad about the damage caused me. they were also fascinated about it. believed in NDE's.  at my mother in law's funeral get together this year there was a family member who is dieing of cancer. I didn't tell the whole story, just that I was killed and came back, that it is a wonderful place, a place you don't want to come back from, that it doesn't hurt to die, what hurts is to come back. no one said a thing.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?    No      

How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:            Experience was definitely real    I can only say years after it happened but right after I remember. it can not be viewed as anything but real. everything I experienced was more real then here on this side. also most of everything I was told at age 5 had happened before I remembered.

Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or significant to you?            what I was told

How do you currently view the reality of your experience:            Experience was definitely real   

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?           No       I was only 5 no memory of a life before it happened

Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?            Yes     not only because of the man who killed me and what he was saying, the Christian stuff which has caused me a fear of Christians. but what I learned on the other side is contrary to the fundamental belief. it does fit my current beliefs

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No      

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?        dieing doesn't hurt, even if it is a traumatic death, what hurts is coming back to the body. there is nothing to fear in death. it is a birth into the real life. we are put here to love each other. to learn. that is their message that they want us all to get

Did the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?         Yes