Edward B's NDE

Experience description: 

I briefly "saw" both what would be considered Heaven and its counterpart. The terrible torment of those in "Hell" was far worse than the fire and brimstone crowd preach. It was something akin to spending eternity with those who would harm others in the same fashion as yourself, or conversely eternal loneliness for those who would, for lack of a better phrase, "fleece" others. The strange thing about the dark place was that it was place (and no place at the same time) that you went to because of yourself. No one sent you there but yourself, and by the same token only you could get yourself out. Eternity seemed to be more of how you wished it. While Hell was well populated, with millions of souls, it only made a very small dent in the total population of the afterlife. I was struck by the accuracy of "What Dreams May Come". I saw just a couple of months later. Although not the best movie, its portrayal of the afterlife is closer than anything I've ever been able to articulate.

Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?     Yes, A valium derivative was administered.

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? No response, The intensity of it.

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          Yes

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?           I never thought about it before, but since you asked I would have to say incredibly awake and alert. More so than in regular life.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   No

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Yes

The moment of separation wasn't something I felt. It was closer to being asleep and then waking up. One moment I was in horrendous pain, the next I was "exploring" my new surroundings.

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?           I don't remember any sound.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?          No

Did you see a light?           No

Did you meet or see any other beings?           Yes

The tormented souls, in a place that was no place. I felt terror at seeing their torment, and a great sadness and pity for them as I could do nothing for them, nor could anyone else. In the Universe, localized near our planet, were other souls enjoying the afterlife. They seemed as happy as those tormented souls were in anguish and yet, they also seemed to be at the bottom rung of happiness. Heaven just seemed to get better the more you kept going, except you weren't traveling. I thought that I was moving toward what can best be described as a welcoming committee. Strangely, I knew that they were waiting for me to get there, and it was composed of a large number of people I knew, but I don't know how I knew this, or who they were specifically. I guess it was something like knowing that your going to a party where your the guest of honor. The party would start when I got to the right "place" except I never got there.

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?    No

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          Uncertain

There were several things that seemed to be medical jargon, and yells and procedures that happened, that I remember, but they're hazy. The memories of the area around my body are confused and hazy in a way that I would expect the drugs would have made my mind fuzzy. However, the time away from my body is crystal clear.

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?           Yes, See above. Level or dimension, might be the best way of describing the areas I saw.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes

Time seemed to have no real meaning. There was continuity, but no linear progression, very hard to explain. Also there was a sense of space, but it seemed to mold itself to thought.

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    Yes

There was a definite sense of order to the universe. It was a given in the same way that gravity is here. There seemed to be a "purpose". Something that was simple and elegant, but I never found out what it was.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No

Did you become aware of future events?       No

Were you involved in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the body?       Yes

I seemed to be waiting in the afterlife for Earth time to pass and my decision to stay, to be brought forward in a physical way. I could stay as long as I was dead, but as I had already decided that I was going to cling to an Earthly life, when my heart started again, I was whisked back.

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         Yes

I have what others call psychic abilities, and have had them all my life, but they were greatly augmented after. My clairvoyance in particular was much stronger.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   Uncertain

Not a change, but a definite strengthening of the beliefs I already had.

How has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices?       I fervently avoid anything that would be a choice that would lead down the path taken by the tormented souls.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Yes

I now become quite angry at the venom people spew upon each other. I wish I had the ability to show them the terrible plight that they are making for themselves in the next life, but so many saintly people throughout history have said in essence "Love your neighbor as yourself," and usually the truth of those words got the speaker assassinated.

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes

I've related it to just a few. Those I told without any questions on their part were of a ho-hum, isn't that nice, I'm sure you believe it attitude. Those who asked seemed disappointed. I think that they wanted to hear a tale of the pearly gates, and how they were going to be redeemed. The truth didn't meet their expectations. I don't talk about it anymore (except this).

What emotions did you experience following your experience?  Sadness that my experience was of no consequence in others lives. That I could help no one. What I knew, and what I could do were unwanted. This only lead to ever more sadness. I know that prior to the experience, I would have been very frustrated by such things, now I'm sad but accepting of the truth.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      The best was the sense of total acceptance. The worst was the sight and empathy of the encounter with the tormented.

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?        I've actually had two NDEs but thought that as they were very similar, I would just describe one.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?

Pretty well as far as language can explain the experience, except for below.

Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.    I would add something along the lines of a question about telepathy/empathy with those encountered in the next life.