Dr. Ralph H's NDE

I tell this story to you with some reticence; because I've had some Christians imply to me that they believed that my "vision" could not have been of God. I'm going to use the word "vision" in telling this story, for lack of a better word.  I do not mean a vision that carries connotations of new revelation or talking face to face with God, or any such thing.  I would call it a dream but it was decidedly different from any dream I've ever experienced.  I was THERE!  In real flesh and blood, standing in the meadow and experiencing an emotional sensation that is not describable in any language that I know.  But, I'm getting ahead of myself... 

After coronary bypass on Thursday I was doing well until Saturday evening when I suffered my first cardiac arrest (the heart quits beating).  I had had a couple of major heart attacks, but this was my first arrest.  I was on lots of various medications, my heart had begun to fail and my blood pressure had dropped to critically low levels.  I had also developed pulmonary edema (fluid filling the lungs) along with the heart failure. Consequently my mind was filled with pain and thirst, fear, and confusion.  My family had all arrived from four different states expecting a deathwatch. 

I was staring at the ceiling with all this noise and confusion around me when I heard a distant bagpipe!  There was a PA speaker that I could see on the ceiling and I was curious and even a little amused as to the source and reason for bagpipe music in the rooms of the Intensive Care Unit.  It started very distant but slowly I could hear it clearer and realized that there was also some singing.  (At one time I knew the melody and some of the lyrics, but when I tried to tell my family and asked them to write down the words, they became agitated and frightened.  They thought this was just the hallucinations and ramblings of a dying man.  It was three weeks later before I could convince them that this was much more, but by then I had lost the tune.  It was an Irish-sounding melody that was neither a jig nor a dirge.  It was lively, a fun kind of music.  In fact, I first described the man that I saw as a traveler. As the music filled the room, the room faded away and I was standing, fit and strong, on the top of a small hill within a landscape of rolling hills.  I was looking down the slope of the hill over a broad meadow where a small man wearing kilts was walking away from me playing bagpipes and singing.  I never saw his face and he never stopped walking.  As I stood there I was overcome with an emotion that is made trite by any descriptions such as love, peace, contentment, hope, joy, etc.  But that is the best that I can do.  I remember on one occasion as I stood marveling in this peace and joy I thought to myself that this is what I've been pursuing all my life.  Everything that I had done, good and bad was ultimately trying to come to this sense Happiness. 

Along with this emotion was the desire not to leave and I felt a very strong desire to follow the man down into the meadow.  But I knew that if I did that I couldn't come back.  About the moment when I was ready to follow, thoughts of my wife and four teenaged children would come to mind and I knew that they still needed me.  I made a conscious decision to stay each time.  On one occasion I told the man that I couldn't come now but would come later.  I later learned that one of my nurses (Janice) said that when they shocked me back once as my heart began beating and I came around again that I mumbled something like "I'll come later."

As mentioned this happened virtually the same way ten times.  The scene on the hill was what I would imagine Ireland or Scotland to look like.  Other than being the most beautiful scene that I've ever seen, there was nothing unnatural about it.  There were rocks and clumps of grass and a blue sky with scattered clouds.  It was very real to me. I've never been to either country and have no recollection of ever seeing a picture that resembled my vision.  I was standing on the top of a small hill looking out across a meadow that continued to roll into the distance.  To my left was an ancient stone fence that descended across the meadow.  The small man was about 20 yards down the slope from me.  To the distant right was a rocky shoreline with waves breaking over the boulders. 

What is it with this Scot-Irish stuff?  My maternal grandfather was John McDonald and I was very close with him as a child.  My grandparents lived very nearby and I spent a lot of time with them.  Grandpa was a hard worker and a good man, and raised 10 children.  He did enjoy a wee bit of whiskey from time to time.  I never saw him drink at home, except maybe a beer while we listened to the Cardinals beat the Cubs on the radio.  But on Saturday night he would walk two blocks down the street to Baldy? Tavern and drink beer and shots of whiskey.  He would come home about midnight and would usually be singing some of the old Irish songs that he had learned in his youth.  I can still hear some of them.  I loved my Grandpa and still miss him.  He died when I was about twelve. 

Anyway, although I am genetically only about one third Irish, that's the heritage that I claim.  I'm not sure what that has to do with the vision, but that is the only connection that I can make.  My Mother, an old school, pre-Vatican II Catholic, is sure that I saw my Grandfather welcoming me to heaven.  I don't know; and furthermore, I don't care!  It is not the vision that matters.  It is the effect.  Although a nominal Christian I was very caught-up in my career, success, material wealth, etc.  These experiences showed me that God loves me and my family.  I was asked by one skeptical Christian how I knew that this vision was from God  (he was troubled by the Celtic imagery)  I answered that if it were from Satan it sure as hell backfired!  Jesus truly came into my life after this (when I finally let Him in).  The trials that were ahead of me were just too much for me to handle alone and God saw to it that I would have the Holy Spirit with me always.  I was to spend 320 days in the hospital, on life support for over six months, then a heart transplant, followed by numerous serious complications  before returning home.  It was seven months more before I returned to some part-time work.  But my family and I came through it all and we are all happy, content and SAVED! Praise our Awesome, Loving God!

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words?          Yes    The visual and auditory aspects are easy to describe, but the emotional/spiritual aspects are impossible to describe.

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          Yes    Yes, I suffered 10 (ten) cardiac arrests in 24 hours, and had to be 'shocked' back each time.  The experience described below occurred with each arrest, the same each time.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?  I was in very grave condition and near death, but during the vision I was fit, strong and perfectly alert.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?          Normal consciousness and alertness         

Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?          No     

Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?          No     

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     No

What emotions did you feel during the experience?          Addressed above.  Peace, joy, love, contentment and reluctant to leave because of the fantastic feeling.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?        No     

Did you see a light?         No     

Did you meet or see any other beings?         Yes    Yes, a man of small stature wearing kilts and playing bagpipes.

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?   No     

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?         Uncertain     I've since seen a photo from southwest Ireland that looks very much like the scene in the vision.  I came about this when a colleague saw a painting of the scene in my office that I had commissioned earlier.  She told me that she had been there during a trip to Ireland a few years before.  She later brought in a photo that looks like the same scene, but from a slightly different perspective.

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?          Yes    See item #3.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?  No     

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?     Yes    The knowledge of God's love for me and my family.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes    I knew if I started down the slope to follow the bagpipe player, that I couldn't come back.

Did you become aware of future events?      No         

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?       Yes    I was in a coma for forty days after my transplant surgery, during which time I 'dreamed' of situations or events the came true later.  An an example I dreamed that my wife and I were vacationing in a tropical location.  We had complimentary orange juice and coffee early the next morning and went out to the veranda overlooking a tropical garden.  It was warm and humid with the sweet smell of flowers in the air.   I took a drink of orange juice and turned to my wife and said, "Wow!  This is the best orange juice I've ever tasted!"