Donna W's NDE

Experience description: 

I was born what is called a blue baby: in other words. I had a hole in my heart.  When I was five almost six, I had open heart surgery at the Children's hospital in St. Paul Minnesota.  I remember the experience like it was yesterday. 

I left my body and even at 5 years old I knew I was no longer in my body.  I looked around the operating room and saw the doctors the nurses the equipment.  As I rose higher I was met by a being of pure light.  There was no arms and legs, there was no clothing it was pure light.  It was a very very bright white light, yet it did not bother me to look at it.  The being of light enveloped me but I did not have a body.  I had no form.  It was like I melded with this light. 

I could hear distant voices but couldn't understand the words.  It was like listening to people chatter in a crowded room but not so loud as that.  I was not afraid.  I was not frightened at all like a 5 year old would be consciously.    I only had conscious knowledge of what was going on at the time.  The being stayed with me until it was time to go back.  I wasn't given a choice to go back or stay.  The being said, "It is time to go back now" and pulled away from me.  While I was enveloped in it's light I felt so loved and that I loved so much.  I did not hurt, I did not feel sorrow or sadness.  Simply love and peace. 

The next thing I remember is waking up in the recovery room with tubes still sticking out of my sides from the blood transfusion.  I wasn't afraid though.  My mother was crying and I just held her hand.  I felt good, I didn't hurt or anything. 

When I was 16 years old the doctors told me that I would probably never be able to have children naturally.  I have 3 and never had a problem with any of them.  Two of them seem to have gotten some of this psychic stuff rubbed off on them.  Both exhibit many of things that happened to me when I was 5.  One is now 12 and the other 15.  I'm not sure about the third as she has never said anything about strange things happening to her yet.  All my children are girls. 

After the surgery I knew when people were going to die.  I got in trouble once for saying my great-uncle was going to die soon.  He died two weeks later.  I lost my best friend when I was 16 years old and two weeks before she died I had a premonition dream about it.  All I saw was a white coffin with pink roses painted around the edges.  When my great-grandmother died (on Christmas Day) I knew exactly what was going to be said before my mother even picked up the phone.  I was 11 at that time.  My Grandfather passed away in January of 2000 and three days before he died I was standing on my balcony and I saw the air shift.  It was winter.  It was like watching hot steam rise off the pavement in the summer time.  I knew it was something bad but wasn't sure what.  Then my mother called and told me three days later that grandpa had passed away. 

I developed a writing ability at an early age.  I would get in trouble with my third grade teacher because we were supposed to be practicing our cursive writing but I would always end up writing something else and have to start over.  I couldn't help it.  I didn't even realize I was doing it until I thought I was done with my cursive writing.  Usually it turned out to be some sort of story or another.  I can't draw at all but I paint pictures with words very easily when creative writing.  I am told I am especially good at poetry.  I write short stories but usually nothing anyone else would be interested in reading. 

I feel the presence of "spirits" in rooms. The air becomes very heavy and it's almost as though I can hear them talking trying to say something to me.  Once I got upset with the whole idea of it and yelled at the thing, if you are here then show yourself to me.  At that moment the air shifted in waves as though something were trying to make its way through from another place.  I quickly looked away and it stopped. 

Often times when I am supposed to be sleeping I am off somewhere else.  Unfortunately, the times this happens is I end up in a place where a child or children are being hurt.  Usually forward in time.  I see horrific things that I can't do anything about.  When I travel I see, hear and smell everything. 

I once experienced the most horrifying experience of my life.  A man shot his wife and children.  I woke up in my bed paralyzed with fear.  Two days later a man about 40 miles from where I live shot and killed his entire family and himself.  Usually when I have these experiences I am not me but yet I am.  In the case with the man and his family I experienced the whole thing as the mother would have.  I know he shot her first.  I could hear the screaming, the pleading and the crying of the children. 

When I am in a room with many people I feel all the joys, sorrows, and pains of the people in the room.  It's a hideous feeling to say the least. I have had two other NDEs in my life.  After having my tubal ligation and after a discogram. These are my experience during and after my NDE.  Can I explain them no.  Do I want to understand?  Yes.

Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience:  Uncertain

      Explanation:  It was during surgery

Was the experience difficult to express in words?  Yes

      What was it about the experience that makes it hard to communicate?  I was five years old and had led a very sheltered life.  I didn't understand what was happening.

At the time of the experience, was there an associated life threatening event?  Yes

      Describe:  I was having open heart surgery.

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?  I was very conscious of what was going on at the time.

Was the experience dream like in any way?  Nope.  It was as real as I am sitting here telling you about it.

Did you experience a separation of consciousness from your body?  Yes

Describe your appearance or form apart from your body:  I knew without a doubt I was no longer in my body.  I felt myself leave and I knew I was going somewhere without my body.

What emotions did you feel during the experience?  love uninhibited love.  The most loving feeling incomprehensible to mankind.

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?  Just distant voices and the voice of the being that was with me.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?  No

Did you see a light?  Yes

      Describe:  The being was wholly comprised of light.

Did you meet or see any other beings?  Yes

      Describe:  The being that was with me.

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?  No

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?  No

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?  Uncertain

      Describe:  I was only five and couldn't comprehend dimensions.  I was like on the outside looking in.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?  Uncertain

      Describe:  It was like time stood still.  There was no moving forward or backward.  Just being right there in the moment.

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?  No

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?  No

Did you become aware of future events?  No

Were you involved in or aware of a decision to return to the body?  Yes

      Describe:  I was told to go back.

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?  Yes

      Describe:  Traveling, Premonitions, Intuition, Visions, the ability to feel the feelings of people surrounding me.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?  No

      Describe:  I was five and required to believe as my mother did.

Has the experience affected your relationships?  Daily life?  Religious practices etc.?  Career choices?  Right now this psychic stuff scares and confuses me.  I don't know what to do with it.   I have a very special connection to children.  I would do anything to help a child.

Have you shared this experience with others?  Yes

      Describe:  For the first time in my life I told the pastor at my church so that we could work on finding out what is happening to me.

What emotions did you experience following your experience?  Peace and calm.  I was happy and positive.  Even at the saddest times I was not without hope and peace.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?  The best part was the being enveloped into that loving existence.  The worst part has been everything after that.

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?  These things are scary and confusing.  It is with great pain that I live each day now.  I do not fear death.  I fear life.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?  No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?  Yes

      Describe:  The tubal ligation.  I was told to come back there was much to be done.  (No explanation of what that "much" might be.)

The discogram. (local anesthetic only) I was told to come back the lady wolf was waiting for me.  I found a high priestess here by the name of Lady Wolfen Mists.  She definitely had some lessons to teach me.

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?  Yes

      Explain:  I don't often discuss myself openly with others and this is the best I can do right now.