Doineau H's NDE

Experience description: 

My mother heard muffled noises during her sleep. She found me in my bed, purplish, struggling, and then, nothing; a doll in the arms of my mother. Heart arrest due to suffocation.

Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience: No.

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes.

What was it about the experience that makes it hard to communicate? Impossible to find words intense enough or wrong understanding of the words used resulting in false communication.

At the time of the experience, was there an associated life threatening event? Yes

      Describe: I was choking in my bed because during my first convulsion I had swallowed my tong. My mother heard muffled noises during her sleep. She found me in my bed, purplish, struggling, and then, nothing; a doll in the arms of my mother. Heart arrest due to suffocation.

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience? Nearly none. I was very young, I must admit, but this need (…)

Was the experience dream like in any way? No real memory.

Did you experience a separation of consciousness from your body?  Uncertain.

Describe your appearance or form apart from your body: Not a form but rather the feeling of having no body. A sphere of light, I would say.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I had the feeling that I belonged to this world not as much as a being but rather as photon within the surrounding light. 

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises? A melodic noise that I do not completely find in the music I listen to.  

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure? No.

Did you see a light? Yes.

      Describe: Ambient light all around me, more luminous than dazzling, but intense though. Soothing, above all, soothing.

Did you meet or see any other beings? Uncertain.

      Describe: Not beings per se but rather “denser” lights, more vivid than the surrounding light. Not flashes, rather “clouds of light”. 

Did you experience a review of past events in your life? No.

      (Any special learning?) Describe: Love before anything else, before yourself because the light of others brightens up yours.  

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later? No.

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions? Yes.

      Describe: A landscape full of light and softness, compassion, understanding. The most pastel of pastel tones ever seen.    

Did you have any sense of altered space or time? Uncertain.

      Describe: Time had not yet any grip on the 9 months baby, but no time passing by around me.

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose? Yes.

      Describe: The good that is done unto others comes back to the person who does it. To love and to be loved can erase any physical or mental pain. Death is nothing else than the regret for not having understood.    

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No response.

Did you become aware of future events? Uncertain.

      Describe: I feel events coming forward; I know what’s good for people. But I prefer not to intervene because everyone’s freewill distorts everything and is quite illogical, let’s say it is not in resonance with my logic.

Were you involved in or aware of a decision to return to the body? Uncertain.

      Describe: Regrets about coming back even if I did not have anything to say when I arrived over there. And that my presence here seems more important, to me or to the others.  

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience? Uncertain.

      Describe: I know how to use a Tarot deck but I hate to do it. I feel the bad things coming forward.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?  Yes.

      Describe: I refuse to believe to a religion built on human writings. The human being is by nature imperfect and therefore untrustworthy, indeed weak.  

Has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices etc.? Career choices? I can’t figure out how to understand the people around me; I limit myself to observing instead of participating to what’s going on. People interest me, puzzle me, touch me and hurt me.

Have you shared this experience with others? Yes.

      Describe: Not convinced, like you. But, knowing me, forced to admit that I’m completely different. Too gentle. They do not know about this mail.   

What emotions did you experience following your experience? Sorrow, waiting for an emotion that doesn’t come, intrigued, indeed captivated by the surroundings.  

What was the best and worst part of your experience? The feeling of this awesome love that surrounded me and the pain of not being able to feel it anymore, even if sometimes when sharing with other living beings or within a simple contemplation of nature, I can briefly feel it, weaker but it’s there.  

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience? No response.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?  Yes.

      Describe: Suffocation due to convulsions during sleep (very rarely), meditation (more or less effective).  

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Uncertain.

      Explain: Words too often lack of precision; the only thing that matters is what I will have succeeded in arousing within each reader.