Deborah S's NDE

EXPERIENCE DESCRIPTION:

            I was laying in my bed and I had a catheter, a feeding tube , a drainage tube, o2 and talking with my roommate. I felt the flush from my catheter and I knew I was bleeding out. I looked at the roommate and then turned my head towards the door, my Mother was walking in and I was experiencing blackness from the outer edges of my eyes. I tried to scream but nothing, no sound came out. My Mother walked up to the bed and slapped my face saying " it's about time you woke up" My roommate started yelling and saying there was blood running off the side of the bed on her side. I then heard code blue to my room. I felt the black haired nurses hair brush my face and I smelled her clean hair and I knew she was in a panic to get an Iv started , I wanted to say something but then I astral projected to the ceiling and watched as the crash cart came barreling into the room. The Doctor came in yelling orders and yelling at me to not die on him he had spent to much time on me so I could live and don't quit on him NOW !  I then went through the tunnel of black void and into the light. As I emerged into the light I felt sunshine warmth and smelled the earth, the grasses and flowers. I came through the tunnel and standing at the edge I saw the large green meadow and the tall grasses and a body of water. On the other side stood a male being in a white gown and a black and white long haired dog. I do not know how I got across the water but I went to them and they lead me to a very, very tall golden knobbed door. As I went to put my hand on the door a being said something to me and in my mind I started to think of my three small children. The next thing I felt was a swish and I was in total darkness. The nurse who stayed with me for three days in the unit said that I held a conversation with someone or maybe more than one and I asked them a lot of questions. NO ONE would ever let me read the nurses notes not would the male nurse tell me what I said. I seen him a year later and he was telling the people at his table that I had been confessing some wrongs I had done and they were pretty funny and he told them some things I had said. What he told them was true. When I again questioned him he just laughed and I left very upset and ashamed.......in 1998 I had heart failure on the operating table, it was during my 15 surgery that year and I do not remember anything from that time of being in a void...............

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? No      

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          Yes            hemorrhage from kidneys

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    upon the being saying something to me and I thought of my three kids and everything went black

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?    Normal consciousness and alertness

            upon the being saying something to me and I thought of my three kids and everything went black

Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?  No      

Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?            No      

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Yes

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            calm and acceptance

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?          Yes     a tunnel of pitch darkness but I was not afraid just wanted to hurry to get to the beyond because I could feel the warmth and love..............

Did you see a light?           Yes     like day light but very warm and loving, with a lot of peacefulness, I had been in it before from another's death as I was cleaning then up for the morgue and I knew what it was I was going towards.

Did you meet or see any other beings?           Yes     the male and the dog

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?    No      

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          Yes     I needed to say and care for my children because no one else would.

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?            Yes     the meadow , the tall doors

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   No      

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?     Yes     I was told I had more to do one the earth

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes     the golden knobbed doors

Did you become aware of future events?       No           

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?     Yes     permission to use my gifted abilities I had been afraid to admit to.......because of my Mothers religious beliefs of being of Satan origins.

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     right away

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?    No       yes I worked daily with the death and dying and I loved it...............I knew the good passing on and the cold death...........I had walked in the LIGHT at another persons death as I was cleaning them up for the morgue

How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:            Experience was definitely real    I was upset to think that even God did not want me. My Mother had made this comment to me while I was just coming out of the three days of void and it stuck in my mind, I had several years after that where I felt even God did not want me...........then Reiki found me.

Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or significant to you?            knowing I was not going to hell as my Mother kept saying I was....

How do you currently view the reality of your experience:            Experience was definitely real    I am now a energy healer working on a teaching Masters and a Medicine Woman working on a PhD in Herbals.

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?           Yes     My children think I am weird and I have no significant other in my life.

Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?            Yes     the higher power who ever you believe it to be is your truth, religion is a structure not a spiritual belief. Its inside yourself. You do not need lessons or sermons on how to correctly be accepted into the Kingdom. All that you need is being willing to believe in a higher power, live within the realm of higher awareness, hurt no one, judge no one and forgive yourself.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         Yes     I did a Reiki session with a Master.....no medications or substances

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?        no

Did the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?         Yes    

Are there any other questions we could ask to help you communicate your experience?   no