EXPERIENCE DESCRIPTION:
During emergency surgery to correct prolonged bleeding from a
spontaneous abortion (unknown early stage pregnancy) my heart stopped and
electric shock to my heart was applied.
I had a sudden
awareness while under anesthesia that I was dying; and rather than being shocked
by the realization, I was vastly amused, as though privy to a great Cosmic
Insight- death was not to be feared, it was a transition to something wonderful
beyond life. In my experience, a huge luminous and flaming Question Mark
dominated my subconscious and illuminated a vast black void- the Eternal
Question about to be answered, and I had at that moment forward an absolute
awareness that what we fear the most in life, "Death," is to be feared the least
- we make such an unnecessary fuss over it. My experience was marked by the
distinct sound of universal joyous laughter that reverberated everywhere about
me - surrounding me - flowing through me, an outpouring of such wondrous bliss
and happiness, and I was overcome with an overwhelming sense of Great Love - the
answer to my lifelong question, always, "What is our reason for living and
existing in the first place?" And the Answer from this Cosmic Source was "To
love unconditionally - to experience it, to express it, to share it!"
Experiencing and
expressing Great Love is the key to everything in our lives.
As my heart began
beating, and before I was fully returned to consciousness, it was rather amazing
that I felt a terrible fear return also - I had very nearly died and I was
absolutely aware of that also in my subconscious, and I trembled with that
realization for weeks after the emergency surgery before my tranquility was
restored and the enormity of the miraculous experience struck me.
I've never forgotten the lesson - attempting always to love unconditionally.
Was
the kind of experience difficult to express in words?
No
At
the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?
Yes
At
what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness
and alertness?
After my heart stopped.
How
did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience
compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?
More consciousness and alertness than normal
If
your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was
different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please
explain:
After my heart stopped.
Did
your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect,
such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of
solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?
Uncertain I was in a very black and vast void illuminated only by a
glowing, pulsating enormous Cosmic Question Mark, the space filling sound of
joyous laughter, and absolute understanding of what is important in our lives -
love, and love alone. I had no awareness of anything other than my own unique
cosmic connection to my Creator - it was an intensely personal experience, and
there was no awareness of anyone or anything else, other than this divine
connection - being caught up in something far beyond my normal awareness or
understanding.
Did
your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any
aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness,
etc.)?
Yes In that I was so aware of the universal sound of joyous
laughter from a divine source, the experience differs from any other I've ever
had.
Did
you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?
Yes
What emotions did you feel during the experience?
Enormous awareness, unimaginable joy and happiness, such a shock of
complete understanding - tapping somehow into a great universal wisdom beyond
normal human experience. Total unconcern that I was dying - aware that I was,
but considering it to be a great cosmic joke I was so privileged to be
experiencing. As the electric shock brought me back to life, but while still
under anesthetic, I became quite aware I had come so close to dying totally,
irretrievably, and it frightened me to the extreme. So I was very aware of both
- utter joy and horrible fear.
Did
you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?
Yes More akin to entering a vast black void where my entire awareness
focused on that enormous, glowing question mark dominating everything - a symbol
it seemed to me of a divine response to my eternal question.
Did
you see a light?
Yes Yes - in the form of the symbolic question mark.
Did
you meet or see any other beings?
No
Did
you experience a review of past events in your life?
No
Did
you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience
that could be verified later?
Yes Other than the acknowledgement from the attending physician that
electric shock to my heart was administered.
Did
you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or
dimensions?
Yes I was drawn into the universal cosmic vastness enveloping all creation.
Did
you have any sense of altered space or time?
Yes I was caught up in a timeless universal space where all creation starts
and where all transition from one plane to another takes place.
Did
you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?
Yes Absolute understanding that our mission while on earth is to give
universal love, completely and unconditionally to all life and all creation.
Did
you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?
No
Did
you become aware of future events?
No
Did
you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience
you did not have prior to the experience?
Yes I have always been a very psychic person with highly developed intuition
(probably just because my mind processes information so very quickly - it always
has). My psychic experiences come in the form of dreams, or suddenly having a
very singular awareness, happening suddenly and unexpectedly that I am
surrounded by the presence of "Helpers" who have come to prepare me for an
unexpected loss (death) of someone I love - on those rare occasions, I am filled
with a sense of unusual peace and a very strong cosmic connection.
Have you shared this experience with others?
Yes I have shared this event with only a few people, and I do not believe
they truly understood. I've come to believe one must experience such an event
in order to truly comprehend it and to be impacted by it. It is a deeply
personal experience and not everyone who hears about it is prepared to grasp its
signficance.
Did
you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?
Yes Anyone interested in the subject is aware of others who share
their experiences through books, TV, whatever. It has always interested me, but
since my own experience differs in several key areas from theirs, I'd have to
say I could not have been particularly influenced - I did not have deceased
loved ones in my experience, I did not fast-forward any previous experiences in
my life - no instanteous reviews of former events of my life.
How
did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it
happened:
Experience was definitely real I find the above questions to be very
problematic. If we experience something, then it is real! How we explain the
nature of the experience may be open to debate - some experts say these near
death experiences are directly related to oxygen deprivation and its effect on
key areas of the brain - hallucinations, as an example, as the brain begins to
react to lack of oxygen.
Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or
significant to you?
As
recounted above, it is probably the most significant and profoundly meaningful
experience of my lifetime. It cut through all the clutter of my life to define
for me without a doubt was is most important always - love.
How
do you currently view the reality of your experience:
Experience was definitely real I think my responses above best describe my
overall experience as being authentic to me.
Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your
experience?
Uncertain
Well, interestingly enough, just because I feel unconditional love doesn't mean
anyone else does - so it has been quite problematic to me - it's embued me with
much patience and understanding, but that isn't always sufficient when dealing
with troublesome people. And when that often happens, I simply must tell myself
to "leave them to Heaven!" Not everyone wants to be saved by my unconditional
love and understanding - in fact, they often resent it!
Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your
experience?
No
Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life,
medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?
No
Is
there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?
It
was an exceptional and deeply personal experience for me I can only describe as
miraculous and extraordinary because I have understanding where there once was
uncertainty, and I can love without need to have the love returned. I'd call it
a very liberating and life-altering event for me.
Did
the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and
comprehensively describe your experience?
Yes I hope I've adequately described my experience to make it of interest to
anyone else searching for answers or validation of their own experiences. This
forum made it easy to describe my own unique experience.
Are
there any other questions we could ask to help you communicate your experience?
I cannot think of any improvements - I am just delighted I found the site.
