CS's NDE

Experience description: 

When I was growing up, I experienced a great deal of trauma; I was very severely abused.  At one point, the abuse landed me in the ER.  The ER became the OR, and while I was being operated on, I flat lined.  I actually don't remember getting to the hospital or much of what happened before or after the NDE.  But I very clearly remember most of the NDE.

Suddenly, I wasn't on the operating table - I was across the room looking at the operating table.  There was a circle of doctors, all frantically treating my body.  It seemed like I was about ten or twenty feet away - probably my sense of space was much different from the actual physical environment.  When I looked at the table where my body lay, I could see doctors wearing OR clothing.  I was little and I thought they looked funny - I thought they were wearing shower caps on their heads outside of the shower.

Then I noticed that surrounding the doctors were more people.  They were extraordinarily tall.  They were wearing white, and they were very "shiny;" they emanated light.  Their faces were kind, and loving.  I perceived that they were not beings from this realm; I knew that they were watching over me.  I believe that they appeared to me (or I perceived them) in a form that I would understand at the time.  They seemed to be "angels."  My family was religious and an angel was a type of being I would understand.  I do not know if the experienced happened today if I would perceive them in the same form.

One of the beings approached me.  She "told" me (there was no language, just communication - hard to explain) that the physical world belongs to us - to physical beings.  People, animals, plants... we are physical, and we are subject to the laws of this physical realm.  But this physical realm is NOT all there is.  She let me know that she and the others with her were ethereal beings.  They could not affect the physical realm. 

She told me that to explain that she couldn't stop the people who were hurting me from hurting me.  But as she explained it, I knew that the pain I was enduring hurt her, too.  She was completely empathetic.  I knew that she (and the others with her) would always be with me.  She explained that while they couldn't stop what was happening, they would always be there to witness what was happening.  I knew I would always have contact with someone who would understand completely what I had been through.

She wanted me to know that because they are not of this realm, it takes sensitivity to connect with them.  They cannot directly affect what happens here (she couldn't intervene to stop the abuse), but they can communicate and affect people (or animals, etc) in this realm.  Then we can, in turn, affect the world around us.  It's a little difficult to explain the concept!  Like I said, it was something that I kind of just understood.  It came from her - she was explaining it, but not in words.

Along with her message, I was aware of a complete and totally unconditional love.  These were beings who knew me, who loved me, and who only wanted the best for me.  It was an amazing experience.

Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?     Uncertain

There may have been anesthesia during the medical procedure - I actually don't know.

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes

There was an intrinsic "knowing" of what was communicated to me.  I can express the message in words, but language per se was not used during the experience.  It's a little hard to explain.

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          Yes

I flat lined

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?           Hmm, I'm a little unclear on the question.  My level of physical consciousness was nil; I was clinically dead.  My actual awareness was pretty clear.  I perceived many details in the room around me, understood what was being communicated to me, felt emotions... I was alert.  Just not in my body.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   Remembering it is somewhat dreamlike, because the experience did not involve my body.  But it was not dreamlike when it happened.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Yes

I have no idea what my form was when I was separated from my body.  I did not look at myself.  I only saw what was around me.

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?           No - it was a soundless experience.  When I re-entered my body, that was when I heard sound again.  It was how I knew I was back.  Everything seemed really loud by comparison.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?          No

Did you see a light?           No

I did not see a light nor did I travel down a tunnel.  Perhaps I just did not get that far into the experience - they brought me back fast.  But when I was separated from my body, the room did appear to be much brighter - as if the brightness of the beings in the room lit it up.

Did you meet or see any other beings?           Yes, See above.

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?    No

I did not experience a review of what happened to me in my life, but I knew that the being who was communicating with me knew all about it.  I learned a lot from the experience.  Just the general idea we are accountable for our own actions here - it's up to us to be just, to be kind, to be loving, and not to cause pain and suffering to each other.  There is no god or spiritual being who is going to step in and stop stuff from happening.  We can connect to the spiritual realm and learn from it and grow from it and change ourselves.  But it is THAT change, the change to ourselves, that will change the world around us.  Also, we are never alone, and there is an abundance of love in the Universe.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?           No

I wish!  ;)  I did see some beautiful beings, though.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes

Like I said, my sense of being very far away from the operating table is not in accordance with the physical space in the room.  It was a small operating room.  It was as if the room stretched back on one side.