EXPERIENCE DESCRIPTION:
I was handing my partner a mug of tea when my teeth began to chatter
and the next thing I knew, I was - somewhere else. No bright lights, no floating
towards the light, I was just in another place, somewhere I'd always been. these
people knew me and I knew them. I had no memory at all of any previous life. It
was more real to me than anything else I'd ever experienced, but the most
important thing was, that these people were so lovely. Kind, funny, loving,
considerate. It was like having happiness running through your veins.
This life continued for
years - and then I came round to find myself in a room I didn't recognize full
of people. Some of them wearing some kind of a uniform. I know now that these
people were paramedics. I had a thumping great pain in my chest and no idea
where I was, or who any of the people were - I thought I was in some kind of
horrible nightmare. I couldn't imagine what I'd done that was so irredeemably
wicked I could be put in a place like this. One of the paramedics said 'We
thought we'd lost you for a couple of minutes there'.
Over the next few days,
I began to put together some kind of a blueprint for who people were, but it was
very difficult. I didn't know how people knew me. But I wanted to go back. I
wanted it so badly it was all I could think of. Then the tumor was diagnosed and
I remember thinking when the consultant said there was only a 80/20 chance I
wouldn't make it through the operation, that here was my way back. I was
convinced that I'd be in the lucky 20% who didn't make it back rather than the
unlucky 80% who did.
They lost me during the
operation. I know because one of the nurses told me. I knew anyway, because I'd
been back to the place I belonged and I knew I was in the 80% almost before I
came round, because the only thing that filled my mind was the word 'bereft'.
That way back was gone. the door wasn't just locked and bolted from the other
side, it was gone completely.
I
know all the theories. that faced with a tremendous insult, the brain can take
'you' and put you somewhere safe and it's not death at all, but whatever. It
coincided with what happened when I did 'die', so I know what I believe. What
you believe is up to you. I know that this world is a very poor copy of what I
had.
Was
the kind of experience difficult to express in words?
No
At
the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?
Yes I had a huge undiagnosed meningiomal tumor pressing down on my left
frontal lobe
At
what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness
and alertness?
I have no idea
How
did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience
compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?
Normal consciousness and alertness
I have no idea
Did
your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect,
such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of
solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?
No
Did
your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any
aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness,
etc.)?
No
Did
you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?
No
What emotions did you feel during the experience?
happiness. Love. Joy. Every positive emotion you could drag out.
Did
you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?
No
Did
you see a light?
No
Did
you meet or see any other beings?
Yes I knew them, but none of them were people from my life here. They were
just people. It was just life, only better.
Did
you experience a review of past events in your life?
No
Did
you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience
that could be verified later?
No
Did
you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or
dimensions?
Yes beautiful is so subjective isn't it? It was beautiful to me. What can I
say? It made this world seem like looking out of a dirty window
Did
you have any sense of altered space or time?
No
Did
you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?
Yes That this was the way things were meant to be.
Did
you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?
No
Did
you become aware of future events?
No
Did
you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience
you did not have prior to the experience?
Yes I know when something bad is going to happen to me or to someone I love.
Have you shared this experience with others?
Yes It used to be afterwards, but now I tell very close friends beforehand.
Did
you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?
Yes Just the usual 'come into the light' stuff.
How
did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it
happened:
Experience was definitely real I was bereft. I wanted to be back there so
much I even considered suicide - but because I wasn't sure whether the manner of
dying affected what happened to you, I didn't dare.
Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or
significant to you?
How
do you currently view the reality of your experience:
Experience was definitely real how can I explain? I know.
Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your
experience?
Yes
I
try a lot harder to be nice rather than nasty. I try to help people. I feel
things more deeply. Especially when someone does something terrible for their
own personal gain or satisfaction. I feel other people's pain very strongly. I
seem to know what people are thinking. I started to score up in the high 90s on
empathy tests at work. Mostly an increased level of empathy coupled with the
sensation of facing the world without any kind of outer layer of skin.
Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your
experience?
No
Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life,
medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?
No
Is
there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?
Was
it real? Did it happen? Is there a scientific explanation? Do I want to know?
Did
the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and
comprehensively describe your experience?
Yes
